i had a dream last night. i dreamt it was erev shabbos, about 18 minutes before candles, and i realized i had dropped the ball and not heated up any of the food. so i'm racing around looking for pots, taking soup out of the freezer, rushing rushing rushing. and my parents are looking at me with great disappointment. my father gave me a particularly withering look (funny, coz in real life he would never).
i woke up with a gasp and immediately thought of chana. she has complained more than once that she doesn't like my facial expression when she can't remember a word. and i thought, am i making that kind of face at her? does she feel like i felt in my dream? a little stomach clench?
then my mind flashed to spongebob. he often has a vacuous smile on his face, and he kind of keeps blinking, instead of responding. (i tried half-heartedly to find an example on youtube but i would have to wade through many episodes..) i am going to try to model myself after him. keep my expression bland, mildly pleasant, and wait. no need for a denouncing expression on my face to make a child feel bad about herself.