Summer Update III: College

College.  First, Chen wants to defer.  She wants a semester to mentally prepare for going to college.  She wants to pre-learn Calculus so that she can understand the course and not drown while she takes the course.

I was resistant, and wanted her to take one course.  Drama.  Dance.  Once or twice a week.

She rightfully argued that it's about 2 hours to commute, plus time in the class.  That's twice a week that she loses 3.5 hours a day, which really loses her the whole day because she doesn't cram things into a day.

If it's stressful enough where she needs a day to recuperate, i.e. a day of doing nothing after an eventful day, then she loses 4 days.  So she really won't have time to learn Calculus.

Ironic, isn't it, that she wants to go to college so she can go to the Hillel and meet people (i.e. socialization) but it will interfere with her education?
She also said that she wants to take difficult classes so she can meet smart people.

I agree with her points.  However, I am concerned that for the first time, she won't be getting out of the house regularly and seeing people.  All of her friends from the local High School I work at will be in Israel for the year.  Her local friends will be in college and not available to hang out during the week or even much on weekends.  I don't think she realizes how socially isolated she'll be.

I brought that up and she agreed to give it some thought.

We have a few things left:

• Get that letter of Completion from the district.  Nobody is answering my calls or emails.  That may be because it is July and everyone is on vacation.  That may be because that's how it is.  Chen needs that for Queens College, so hopefully that will be compelling.  I'll have to keep calling.  That's on my mind.
• See if Chen can get accommodations in Queens College.  That will probably make a huge difference in both her attitude and also her actual ability to take classes there.  
• Either defer or register for one course.  Chen has been studying to take the test for online Bio 101 and she realized that maybe Bio with lab may also be a good choice for a first course.  I also think Chem with lab would be a good choice for her.
• She has to take a math exam for QC to see if she qualifies to take Calculus.  Exams make her nervous.  So she has to discuss what is involved with that and if she can get extra time for that.

Best Use of My Time

I have to remember that conflict resolution is one of the most important things to me as a parent and homeschooler.  

Way back when my oldest was homeschooling, and I was trying to figure out how to manage my time and make decisions about what to teach, I did a "begin with the end in mind" approach where I thought about what things I wanted my adult children to have.  And then planned their education with that in mind.  

To recap, it was 4 things:

1. Basic reading, written communication, and math (I've since dropped math--they seem to figure out the basics of a calculator pretty easily)
2. A sufficient sense of responsibility that allows a person to hold down a job; i.e. show up on time and do your work diligently.
3. The capacity for satisfying and emotionally healthy relationships with a spouse, children, and friends.
4. A non-superstitious relationship to Judaism and Torah (I've since changed it to a love for Torah AND mitzvos, after some missteps in parenting during the teen years)

I've mentioned that physical fighting has gone down and we are seeing a lot of verbal disagreements with raised voices.  One of the things I've always loved about homeschooling is that there is time to slow down and handle these issues.  And what I love about unschooling is it seems like that IS the job.

So now I'm reminding myself not to get swept away by my own projects and the minutiae of running a fair-sized household and not to forget that when I hear the voices raised, I have nothing better to do than to go over to them or call them over to me, help them talk through the conflict, and learn and practice the tools to resolve it.

A's story

A's socialization has a long and complicated history.  He's the youngest of 3 boys.  He fights to keep up, making him the strongest and most determined.  He's also frequently left out on the block.  For many years, when he was 2-4, I was pretty sad about how he had nobody to play with.  I would have sent him to preschool but he was very aggressive and angry at ages 3-4 (maybe because he was unhappy, but I didn't think school would help).  Eventually at around age 6.5 he became utterly delightful.  And things the year or so before that shifted around socially--some neighbors became old enough to play with him, some other kids shifted socially to older kids, leaving the younger kids they used to play with (who were older than A) looking to younger kids for socialization.  An older kid ended up having a new baby and really enjoyed horsing around with A in an aggressively playful way that A adored and that the baby couldn't tolerate.

So this past year+, A's socialization has not been much of a concern for me and he hasn't been so miserable.  I thought a lot about that, since I remember how terribly I worried and agonized about his socialization.  It's important for me to realize how things can shift and things do change for the better in these situations.

In the winter, when A said that he wanted to go to camp for only one month, I figured he knows what it's like after last year, and if he wants it, fine.

He came home happy the first day.  But then he didn't want to go the second day.  He cried himself to sleep.  (It's only in the last month that he stopped crying himself to sleep.  I don't know if I posted about that...I just stopped to check and I found a draft from January that says: "You know why I hate bedtime? Because it's not sweetness and sunshine and cuddling and intimate conversation.")

The next day I said go for half the day.  He did.  He came home and said it was great.  I said, OK, you'll go half days.  He started backpedaling: It's not great.  It was okay.  No, it was terrible, awful.  He's not going.

He cried and cried.  He cried and begged and said I can't make him go.

Then he cried more at night.

I began to think, like last year, if it's so horrible, that he shouldn't go.  Why torture him?

But I was in conflict.

He was happy when he came home.  He said it was ok.  I get that the learning and davening was boring for him, but if he skips that, it didn't seem so bad.

Also, he has expressed that he wants more friends.  Maybe he should give it some more time?

He cried himself to sleep again last night.  I spent the evening pondering over whether his intense negative reaction means that I should let him stay home, or if the things he is upset about are things we should try to work through, and it would be beneficial for him to go.

This morning, first thing he said when he woke up is that he's not going to camp and I can't make him.

We made a list. (It turns out it's a challenge to make a list when I speak Hebrew and he can't read Hebrew)

My side and his side.
My side says that he needs time to make friends, I paid the money and he said it was OK and not horrible, I think that he needs time to adjust and he will get more comfortable, and he likes arts&crafts, swimming, and ball.

His side says that the other kids don't play with him, he's homesick, it's boring, and it's long.

He told me that we both have 4 points, and his points are way better than my points.  I told him that I thought my 4 points were pretty convincing.

Then we began to talk about him not having friends and the other kids not playing with him.  We've been talking a lot about that over the past few months because his hot-headedness, sore loserness, and refusal to accept when he's out, coupled with his younger age, have not been endearing him to the gang in the playground.  I had suggested in the past that he try to walk off the field if they tell him he's out, and see if that makes them more inclined to allow him to join the game.
I've really been wanting him to have the opportunity to play with peers.  He's constantly the youngest (a negative of being homeschooled in the social environment on our block) and I think he would shine with peers.

So we spoke about making friends and talking to people.  I asked him if he wanted me to google "how to make friends."  He did, and I googled "how to make friends age 7."  The first 8 hits were article for me, and not that useful, but the 9th, a wikihow with pictures, was the jackpot.

https://www.wikihow.com/Make-New-Friends-at-School

I went through a bunch of the pictures and discussed different ways to make friends.  I wrote down (you can see in the picture in the bottom right): make eye contact, smile, don't act nervous.

Then we role played a bit, with me smiling or him smiling and not smiling and seeing if it felt different to be smiled at or not smiled at.

He said, "but they didn't read the article!"  I tried to explain that the article was writing what was already true.  I'm not sure how much he understood that.

I told him firmly that I was making him go, and that he doesn't have to go next summer, and that he can go only half the day.  He fought it a bit, but when he got upset, I turned the conversation to his nervousness about making friends, and he calmed down each time.  Which maybe means that I'm on the right track and that's the issue, in which case he should keep going and try to make some progress there.

He threw things at me, which I converted to a game of catch, and he gradually got ready to go, and he went.

Ari took him and came back and reported that as soon as he went, a couple of kids came over to talk to him.  But A is extremely shy.  So shy he can't make eye contact, or answer them, or smile at them.

I said, "That's so funny you mention those things.  Those are exactly what I told him to do this morning." And I showed him the picture.

But he said that he was unable to do them because of extreme shyness.

It's interesting that since he's homeschooled, I actually had no idea that he was that shy.  He's not like my shy child who is so shy even around me and who told me when he was four years old that "I can only speak to people I love."  A has always been perfectly able to talk to people and has gone off places on his own.  I didn't realize he was feeling so paralyzed socially.  No wonder he's stressed and unhappy.

I found this post from August 2017 in drafts

So I thought camp was going well.  Camp is going well.  6yo was happy.  He's the child that I often felt would do well in school.  He doesn't have sitting issues.  He likes to learn the way that schools teach.  He is social.  He's not shy or nervous.

The only reason I didn't send him to preschool (aside from the $7-9,000 price tag) is that he was a rather intense toddler who had lots of tantrums and violent behavior.  He kicked, hit, and bit.  I felt that this behavior is difficult for the preschool classroom and was not sure that the teachers would handle it in a way that was effective and at the same time not shaming.  (Heck, I barely skated by on the skin of my teeth on that goal, so I was reluctant to foist it on the preschool teachers with 20 other kids in the room.)  But he grew up, he wants friends, and I thought camp was a great environment for that.

He's learning, he's davening, he has friends.  Camp is lovely.

Except when he doesn't want to go.  And complains that it's boring.  And he has to sit for so long.

This morning, he said he doesn't want to go to camp anymore.  It's been like that--some days he goes happily, some days he says he doesn't want to go anymore.  Today, he started throwing things at me.  His shoes, a large lego, a puzzle.

It occurred to me that he's throwing things at me because he feels that I'm not hearing him.  And he's saying that he doesn't want to go.

I was planning to send him only a half-day today because it's Friday and we want to avoid traffic.

****

Postscript to this: He began getting stomachaches.  So badly that I took him to the doctor.  There was nothing physical wrong. He began crying he didn't want to go.  So after a fantastic year at camp last year, and a fantastic first month this year, he stayed home for the second month.  I felt a lot of things

• like a failure because her kid can't hack daycamp
• grateful that I don't send him to school because what if he was crying like this every day about school and was so miserable and I thought about the stress of all those parents who cope with this with their children regularly
• glad that I could just pull him out of camp and this whole issue went away
• secretly fearful that the problem is me/my homeschooling/my child/my parenting rather than it being just "not a match"

He wanted to go to camp again this summer.  For just one month.  So I signed him up.  And...

Feeling like a failure

I'm an experienced homeschooler.  I cannot emphasize just how experienced I am.  One of my kids finished college, another is almost done with high school.  (Actually, I'm not super experienced at boy homeschooling, considering my oldest boy isn't bar mitzva yet.)  I have been homeschooling for almost twenty years. 

Homeschoolers often find themselves against going against "common wisdom."  Kids need to know things or do things by a certain age.  Kids need to suffer certain things or they'll never be able to do it as an adult.  Kids need to [learn to sit for hours, tolerate boring learning for hours, be able to do hours of tasks that they hate, etc] so that they'll be able to function as adults.

It takes courage to keep walking a different path when people around you tell you that what you're doing is harmful.  Even if your own mind (and experience!) tell you that your path is a good path, it can be difficult.

I'm always amazed by how fragile my confidence is.  Years of positivity can be undermined.

Last week, one of my kids was at a birthday party and got into fights with the kids there.  I'm still feeling badly about that.  Worrying about his social abilities.  On one hand, I know that this is an issue (he's gotten into conflicts like this before) and I appreciate that homeschooling a) minimizes these situations and b) gives me the chance to walk him through these incidents while I'm on hand.
On the other hand, it is always disquieting to see your child be so miserable socially (tears, misunderstanding his contribution to the dynamic). 

Riding the coat tails of that, the boys started camp this week. 

I looked to see if I ended up discussing what happened with A last summer.  I can't find it at the moment.  I think it needs its own blog post.

But first let's discuss J, going into 4th grade.  His Rebbe called to discuss him after the first day.  Let's remember that J was homesick two years ago and didn't make it through the first week of camp.  He's been psyching himself up for two years now, and is trying it out for a week. 

I had told the boys that the way that we homeschool, the other kids are going to know things that they know, and that they will do that sort of thing closer to their bar mitzvas.

The Rebbe was perplexed that J couldn't do basic things like find the perek and the pasuk.  That during davening, he didn't turn the pages of the siddur.

I explained that homeschooling is a different educational approach and that most of their Torah at this age is Torah She-baal peh.  The Rebbe walked me through all the types of learning and davening and we came to agreements about what that would mean for J.  i.e. he would not call on J, would not ask him to write on the board, would visually keep an eye out in case J wants to participate but would not expect him to do the work.  It was a lovely conversation.

I explained to J that the Rebbe wouldn't call on him and he can turn pages in the siddur when he sees the other boys doing it and stand up and sit down when they do.

But J came home on the 2nd day of camp and said he just wants to go after davening and learning.  I said ok. 

I thought J would be ok for that part of camp, but it's ok if he doesn't want to.

This actually sparked a conversation between me and Ari.  Ari said, "Of course he doesn't want to sit there and learn.  It's boring." And we wondered whether the boys actually would ever be interested in learning Torah if we unschool it. 

I know that the unschoolers I've spoken to say yes.  And in my own heart, I believe that as teenagers, they can learn quickly and efficiently if they want to.  But it's definitely hard to feel comfortable when your almost 4th grader can barely read Hebrew and can't hack summer camp learning.

One thing I am realizing.  Everyone keeps saying that "camp is not school."  In the sense that camp is more relaxed than school.  Which is definitely true.  But when you unschool, camp is definitely longer and more structured than homeschool.  And when you have kids who are not used to doing activities that bore them, they don't have a high tolerance for it.

Another point I'm pondering is that maybe this camp is not best for my family.  They've been wonderful.  They are unbelievably flexible.  They are kind, considerate and thoughtful.  They are close--their playground is the playground across the street from my house, which helps my little ones feel they are in familiar territory.

But maybe a different camp with less learning would be better for them.

On the other hand, maybe being anywhere from 9:30-3:30 would make them unhappy, and I'd be paying more to have the same conflicts and arguments.

Onward to A's camp experience.

A host of worries that ended up turning out ok. For now

I was looking for all the posts where I stressed out about Aharon's socialization.  I can't find them.  I guess I didn't write about them.  (Or my memory is bad and my search engine keywords inadequate.)

Sometimes I have a kid who I think would do okay in school, but I homeschool because it's our philosophy and lifestyle.  And sometimes I have kids for which I am grateful every day that we are homeschooling. 

At first I thought Aharon would be a good candidate for school.  He's bright, he has the capacity to sit, he likes people and is not shy.  Not that I was particularly looking to send him to school. 

It turns out that despite being an extremely amenable two-year-old, he had a turbulent years 3 and 4.  He tantrumed numerous times a day, frequently hitting, biting, kicking, pulling hair, etc.

I was greatly concerned that part of the problem was his home environment.  I was concerned that he didn't have a strong social group.  There were always a lot of kids around--but he was the youngest boy.  Always downtrodden, always left behind, never keeping up, never taken seriously.  His life was a series of frustrations.  No wonder he was a ball of anger.  I hesitated to send him to preschool (exorbitant price tag aside) because he was so physically aggressive and so quick to shriek in frustration.  I had trouble managing it; I imagined him being placed in timeout all day long or the teachers having a lot of trouble with him.

I tried looking for a playgroup.  He was so close in age to his brother (17mo apart) that there was just too much social overlap in the community.

So I sent him to camp.  Which he loved, and it seemed like the answer.  But then the second month of camp came, and he started getting stomachaches.  I spoke to the Rebbe and all he could say is that the amount of children tripled.  As it ended up, Aharon resisted going to camp so much that he didn't go the second month.

What is interesting is how Aharon's personality matured and how our neighbor kids' personalities shifted and matured.  The little girl that is a year younger than he is that he used to push (and therefore get kicked out of her house and come home crying) grew up and matured and became a good companion for him.  The little girl Jack's age became inclined to play with him more because he matured and could play older games.  The boy Elazar's age got a new baby and found that Aharon was the perfect, hardy age to wrestle with.  So for a few years I was so worried about his unhappiness, so worried that I was causing him misery by not sending him to school (except for the issues school would cause), so worried he would be angry and unhappy forever.  And he's pretty happy now socially.  If I could have told myself, "Don't worry, things shift, relationships shift, he'll be okay." 

I think anytime a child is in a phase, it's worrisome.   What if they don't outgrow this?  What if it gets worse?  What if it's just the beginning of a long downward spiral of unhappiness?  And having been through some of those, too, I can tell you that we drag ourselves through those times, too, as best as we can.  But it's useful to note that many times, what's happening IS a temporary phase and things do shift.

When Strangers Quiz Your Children

I just drove a half hour with my three boys in the back seat.  They got along pretty decently, no major fighting.  Lots of arguing and tussling.  Why don't regular cars come with that limo glass panel that slides open and closed so the driver can't hear what's going on in the back!! 

Last week, I took Jack (2nd/3rd grade) to an allergy doctor.  The doctor was a frum guy, and when he saw me speaking Hebrew to Jack, he spoke to him in Hebrew, too.  Happily, it was one of those situations where my kids actually understand Hebrew--he spoke with a strong American accent. 

Upon discovering that Jack was homeschooled, he proceeded to do what so many doctors have done--he began quizzing Jack about what he learns and knows.  Jack can actually read and do math somewhat on grade level--which has not always been the case with unschooling.  He hesitated about Chumash, and actually blanked on the question "Do you know how to say elephant in Hebrew?"  (It's so much easier to translate "pil" than to be asked to produce the Hebrew word...)

I let most of it play out, keeping a pleasant smile on my face.  Afterwards, I asked Jack how he liked the doctor (he's introverted, so the major achievement here was looking the doctor in the face and answering his questions in a decibel the doctor could actually hear) and Jack commented on how the doctor asked him so many questions.

And it's true, as a homeschooler, I've found that doctors often ask my children questions.  They want to "make sure" my kids are being educated.  Or maybe they are just curious.  And, since I unschool and the younger grades are frequently spent mostly playing, my kids very often don't know the answers.  I've sat there placidly as my children didn't know Judaic bekius, simple math problems, geography, history, science, you name it--and my kids have not known the answer to it.

The only time we had slight vindication was when Chana told the pediatrician she was planning to go to Japan in the summer and he asked, somewhat satirically, how her Japanese was.  And he was absolutely floored when she said, "Well, it's mediocre; not as good as I would like, but I hope that the trip will improve it."

I used to be incredibly stressed out when my kids were being quizzed.  I worried that they didn't know the answers.  I worried homeschooling was failing.  I worried they'd feel bad about themselves for not knowing.

As I got more confident about homeschooling, I trusted that it was OK that they didn't know the answers at age 10.  I also felt that if I didn't exude stress that they don't know the answers, the kids probably wouldn't be unduly disturbed that they don't know the answers.  (And the doctors always told them the answers, so it was kind of like having a mini homeschooling tutoring session thrown in for free in addition to the doctor appointment.)

Beginning of No School

Yesterday I finally filled out the paperwork for NYS and sent it in.  The 11th grade IHIP (individualized home instruction plan) was fairly simple--oddly, I find high school paperwork a lot easier than elementary school.  The boys all had previous year's paperwork that I could use except for 5th grade for Elazar.  I have done it 2x before with the girls, but apparently it was before things were in the cloud and so I had to make a new IHIP for him.  A tip that I use for Math and Language Arts is to google "5th grade curriculum" for the subject I want, and then copy the ones that are most likely to come up or that he already knows.
Excerpt from math:

- learn to choose, describe, and explain estimation strategies used to determine reasonableness of solutions to real-world problems.

- estimate quantities of objects to 1000 or more, justifying and explaining the reasoning for their estimates.

Examples from Language Arts:  

- Compare and contrast the varieties of English (e.g., dialects, registers) used in stories, dramas, or poems.

- Use context (e.g., cause/effect relationships and comparisons in text) as a clue to the meaning of a word or phrase.

- Use common, grade-appropriate Greek and Latin affixes and roots as clues to the meaning of a word (e.g., photograph, photosynthesis).

- Interpret figurative language, including similes and metaphors, in context.

- Recognize and explain the meaning of common idioms, adages, and proverbs.

- Use the relationship between particular words (e.g., synonyms, antonyms, homographs) to better understand each of the words.

Even though we unschool, Elazar is involved in these activities.  Mainly from youtube videos, which are pretty sophisticated and have introduced him to most of the above concepts.

Chana started college Russian.  Since she came home from Japan the day that class started and took a couple of days to recover, she only had about 3 days to do the first week's worth of work.  It was a bit overwhelming in addition to figuring out the online system but I think she got the hang of it.  She hasn't asked for any more help.  And yesterday she went to Gulliver's Gate Museum (#socialstudies) and there was Russian there and she was able to read it and look up some of it online.  So she's already happily using it.

I signed Jack up for engineering once a week and Jack and Aharon up for Science class once a week.  We also have parkour once a week.  Elazar adamantly refuses to go to science class (for the older grades there is more talking and sitting and less hands-on activity so I agree with him).  Chana started Gemara class 3x a week and has already asked me about Bahaaloscha and Dovid and Golyas in the last couple of days.  I also hope that she will continue her once a week math sessions with her friend.  The $200+ chemistry set that I bought at the beginning of the summer continues to be unopened.  I wonder if I should hire someone to do chemistry experiments once a month with her.  I'll ask her.

Aharon and I reviewed the aleph beis today and he only knows them in order.  When I pointed to them and asked him if he knew them, he doesn't know most of them.  He did not want to review nekudos and was not interested in learning more.  Aharon is somewhat unhappy socially.  This is not a new story and has been somewhat of an issue for years.  Because the boys are close in age, he doesn't have his "own" friends.  I would have sent him to preschool because of this except that he was a particularly aggressive toddler and I didn't want to send a biting and smacking preschooler to preschool.  Now that he has outgrown that, I did send him to camp this summer so that he could branch out on his own and make friends his own age.  But he wasn't happy in the second month.  And in fact, one of the boys in his bunk that he liked actually plays a lot with Elazar.  So I have to schedule separate playdates (because the boy only plays with Aharon if Elazar isn't there) and it often doesn't work out.  Elazar is extremely social and extremely proactive about making playdates.  So he often has already arranged a playdate before Aharon even thinks about playing.  So this is an ongoing issue that I am grappling with.  If I knew he would be happy, I would consider sending him to school.  But he was unhappy in camp.

I've been making some effort to daven out loud as many mornings as I can and sometimes I hear the boys humming the tunes.  

Overall, the boys are pretty proficient at English reading and doing basic math problems.  I want to learn with Elazar and start a daily seder with him but he is extremely uninclined.  As usual, I go back and forth between thinking I should just unschool and leave it all up to him.  And feeling concerned that I am not being mechanech him about how important Torah is by not doing it regularly when he is old enough.

Also, their playroom is utter chaos.  I think it's time to remove a lot of things that they aren't playing with anymore and revamp it.

That's my news.  Happy unschool!

High School Judaic Studies plans for this year

I cannot believe how the air turned crisp as soon as September 1st happened.  Chana is back from her August travels.  I start teaching out of the house tomorrow, one class.  I'm working out babysitting trades with my homeschooling neighbor so I can go to work because I told Chana to choose one class in the school I work at, and she chose two.  She chose Mishlei, which students in the school usually describe with hyperbolic enthusiasm.  However, since that class is only given for 11th graders (and she is in 10th--yet another shout out to the incredibly flexible principal I work with), Chana decided she would like to hang out with some of the students she met last year, and she decided to come to my Chumash class.  These are the girls she was in Chumash with last year.  She dropped out of Chumash in January.

The whole last year I wasn't sure if I was making the wrong or right decision by insisting that she go to class.  She complained about it a lot and felt that the girls were not really her speed.  This is true.  But also true is that she's a slow warmer upper and maybe she would make some relationships.  What was definite is that the girls in the school were very receptive and friendly to her, liked her, and were willing to embrace her.  I figured even if she doesn't click with any of them, it's not like it's an emotionally horrifying experience to be around people who like you.

I think a lot of people feel like socialization is a problem to worry about  if you decide to homeschool.  We have certainly been asked "What about socialization" in many different ways and it comes up in most conversations when people discover that we homeschool.
But I also know many, many parents whose children are in school who have deep and painful socialization woes with their children.  There is loneliness and conflict and socialization in school isn't all sunshine and happiness.  And in my experience with my own children, my first daughter was lonely in homeschool when one friend moved away and another friend matriculated and then she decided to go to school.  But it took her almost TWO YEARS in school before she made friends.  And she was a very social child who was eager to make friends.  My second daughter is seeking a very specific type of person and type of intimacy which is also not so easy to find, even in school.

Anyway, she's not joining my class for the Torah (I can easily teach it to her at home and in a fraction of the time) and I have no doubt she'll dump it in five seconds if my class bores her too much.  But it does confirm that nudging her into attending last year was not terrible.  We'll see how it plays out.  Right now she is thinking about skipping my class once a week so she'll mentally have one day with nothing scheduled.  I'm not thrilled about that but in terms of conflict-fatigue with my teenager, this is not something I'm up for making an issue about.

Chana was ambivalent about not taking TSBP again.  She really liked the teacher.  She really liked the subject (and that is exciting to me, since one of my goals for Chana was that she should gain an appreciation of torah sheba'al peh).  She enjoyed the chevrusa part and expressed that she will really miss that.  But ultimately, she decided against it because she found it pretty excruciating that after the first 10 minutes of presenting the material (which she found highly interesting and stimulating), a great deal of class time was used explaining material she already understood.

I hear that is a problem that homeschooled students encounter.  They are "selfish" in their learning in the sense that they haven't really learned to adjust the pace to group learning or to other people.

I am a little disappointed that Chana won't have TSBP this year, but I'm hopeful she'll take it next year (even though the "ONE YEAR AT A TIME" mantra of the homeschooler echoes resoundingly in my ears).

This summer we were in the middle of the Rambam's introduction to the Talmud (which she wasn't crazy about) and we finished Shmuel I.  I hope she'll be inclined to continue learning Shmuel II with me.  We also were going through some of the bein adam l'chavero mitzvos from the TSBP booklets I have from high school.  It turned out I need to prepare beforehand and Chana was finding those a bit boring.

And now the next post about Chana's 10th grade secular studies:

on anxiety and worry

Last night was the first night in 3 days, since pulling Chana out of Chumash, that I didn't wake up in the early morning hours full of worry.

For three days after letting Chana stop Chumash, I worried if I had made the right decision.  Yes, Chana is happier and more relaxed.  But no matter what I learn at home with her, we are not spending an hour a day, 5 days a week, on Chumash.  I really liked what she was learning in that class.  She was experiencing group dynamics and group discussion.  She was socializing daily.  Will she be able to make friendships now that she's only there a couple of times a week?  Now that she's no longer eating lunch with the girls?

My worries are an amalgam of anxiety over skills, content, and socialization.  What if this was good?  What if, even though she was finding it stressful, she would have made some good friendships?  It takes her a while to warm up.  What if she doesn't make those friendships now?

What if she doesn't love Torah?  What if she doesn't want to partake of Jewish community and social life?  (I don't know if I've written about this yet, but at some point I would like to do a post or a series about introvert homeschoolers.  I often feel like I'm navigating very much in the dark about this issue, and guidance is contradictory.)

A wise friend of mine reminded me that getting attached to a specific class is really my anxiety of wanting to produce a certain product: a "good Jewish child" or, more accurately, a "good Jewish adult that was brought up 'right.'"  In reality, each human being has bechira and we cannot control the outcome.

Chana has definitely given me the information that she was deeply unhappy with the situation as it was, and she is definitely happier now.  She agreed to up her game in terms of learning limudei kodesh with me, and now the ball is in my court to find the time and energy in my busy schedule to learn with her.  We started learning Perek 11 in Yishaya yesterday (I thought that best exemplified the times of Moshiach portrayed in Nach) and I started feeling more relaxed about the content/skills part.

I'm not sure if Chana would have gotten close to any of the girls in high school.  I'm not sure if being there every day when she didn't have any days off would have made her less receptive, and maybe being there less will make her more receptive.  I really have no way to tell what might have been and time will tell what will be.  I have been davening a lot the last few days to help me cope with my worry and to remember that I do my best and make the best decisions I can, and that the outcome is not in human hands.

high school chumash and other high school subjects

Chana has been expressing discontent with going to school for a while.  She doesn't like sitting in class for an hour, she finds a lot of it boring, she doesn't like the kids.

This is not exactly how I've been experiencing it.  The girls seem very nice and eager to be friendly to her.  When I've helped her study, I've been very happy with the material she has been learning.  She has spoken about topics that were discussed in class, and I love that she was thinking more deeply about those issues.  There were a lot of things that I don't think we would have done together if we were learning ourselves.  And of course there is no "class discussion" when it is just us.

However, she has been complaining about going in every day and saying that she doesn't want to go.  This has been a source of tension between us, and a source of great pain to her.  It was getting to the point where she was crying when I dropped her off nearly every day.

I was in a lot of conflict.  I am in a lot of conflict.  I still feel like she needs socialization (ha! The dreaded "s" word!  And I'm a homeschooler speaking such!) and that she needs more time to get used to the girls and to hopefully find someone she can become closer with.  On the other hand, it certainly occurs that people go through high school without making close friends or really feeling like they belong with those people.

I went to speak to the principal, and as she has been all along, she blew me away with her kindness and flexibility.  She offered that Chana can try other classes, can switch around classes, can try classes in other grades if we think that will work.

When I told Chana she can stop going, she was so grateful that she agreed to do all my favorite Rambans with me, since I can't rely on school any more for her skills work.  So I have to compile a list of those to go through.  I'm beginning to have that giddy feeling of so many possibilities (Abarbanel, Nechama Leibowitz), which I always feel when I embark on a new homeschool adventure.  This usually being way out of touch with reality.  I remember drawing up a whole schedule for the first year I was doing two grades, 6th and 1st, for Sarah and Chana.  Our schedule ended up being nothing like that.  I had to drop a lot of things that I wanted to do (most memorably Mishna) and really prioritize.

When I asked Chana if she could pick any class in high school, what would she want, she asked for a math class.  She has not been delighted with my math teaching.  (Nor was Sarah before her.)  Since I really want her to experience Judaic studies in high school, I decided to purchase Teaching Textbooks.  Chana originally said that we could finish up geometry and get it for Algebra II.  But I am struggling a bit with geometry and this is made for homeschoolers and is specifically designed to talk straight to the student and leave the mom out of it.  Sounds perfect (though I do love learning Math with her and sharing my joy in it, I am really not a clear teacher and she's suffering for it).  It was pricey at almost $200, but that is a lot cheaper than a tutor and I hope she likes it.  I was considering buying a version off ebay for $75, but I wasn't sure if it was the version that grades itself.  I consulted with Ari and he voted for the new version.
Chana will have to do it every day and be in charge of herself.  I assume if she likes it and it is interesting, she'll do it.

Up until now, Chana was point blank refusing to take any classes in the high school next year.  But now that she is dropping one class (she is continuing with Torah she'baal Peh), she is so much more relaxed and cheerful.  She will look at the schedule come June and choose a class to go to.

So I'm feeling pretty sad that she dropped Chumash and sorry that she won't be learning all the things she was learning that I thought was good for her.  I'm concerned that she won't have the opportunities to make friendships and relationships with the girls in her grade.

On the up side, Chana is hugely more relaxed and happy.

On another note, Chana and my study of Eisav has been going nicely.  I'm not doing heavy mefarshim and often we are left with more questions than answers and she doesn't like the answers I give to the questions we ask, but it's fun and that's what is important.

Questions:
Why is Eisav called Edom just because he wanted red soup?
(We talked about how it showed a character trait to trade everything for soup and how he didn't even call it soup, but "that red stuff" but she wasn't convinced.)
What did he mean when he sold it because he is dying?
(We talked about that he took risks and figured he'd die before his father [unconvincing] or that he felt what is the point anyway, since he's dying.)
Why did Rivka's argument "the curse will be on me" if Yaakov got caught convince Yaakov?  Yaakov was still responsible because he agreed to it.  And if Yaakov gets fired from a job, his mom saying, "It was my idea" isn't going to convince the boss not to fire him.

home for high school

Chana went for her interview this week.  I'm having the parent interview on Monday (they know I'm home with the kids and couldn't come in if Chana wasn't home to babysit, so we scheduled the parent interview for a different day).  Chana liked the school, and she came home somewhat in conflict, but still inclined towards homeschooling.  She just doesn't think she can tolerate sitting in class all day and thinks it will be incredibly boring.  I think until she actually saw what class was like, she had been planning to try school out for a year, and try to make friends.  But when she saw what class involves, she balked.

Academically, secular-wise, I think homeschooling is a better choice for her.  Although I mentioned in the last post that the thought of high school kind of freaked me out, I remembered what was so exciting and thrilling about it.  Mainly that high schoolers are basically adults with fully capable brains and the ability to be in charge of their own educations.

And with the possibility of taking college courses at around 16  (I glanced at both Queens College and Nassau Community College and both have programs for high schoolers) it doesn't really make sense to go to high school.

I do think limudei kodesh would be better in high school.  She'd get more bekius, she would learn more detailed halacha, she might gain more skills.  But if Chana doesn't want to go, then we'll see what we can do at home.  I always did have grand plans for high school, but the reality is I have 3 younger children at home plus I have found that by nature, I tend to be a bit lazy and disinclined to sit and teach for hours, which means I won't be sitting and teaching things, most likely.

And, as I mentioned, I have hesitations about Chana being home socially.  Yes, homeschoolers are able to socialize beautifully.  Chana's social skills are fine, she is capable of making friends and socializing.  But I think she'd have more social options if she goes to school.

At the end of the day, I'm going to discuss it with the school and see what the administration thinks, and Chana is going to choose.  If she chooses to stay home, that's not written in stone and I think if she chooses to matriculate in 10th or 11th grade, the school will welcome her.  If she chooses to homeschool and then decides closer to the time that she wants to go to school, that's fine.  If she chooses to homeschool, then that's fine.  If there are things that make her unhappy, we will reevaluate.

I'd like to add that Sarah wanted very much to make a lot of friends, and transitioned to 8am-5:15pm sitting in class with no trouble.  Her major complaints were that the learning was inefficient and that they often moved on when she wanted to think more deeply about something.  She noted that at least you can daydream during class, which you can't in homeschool, because your mother notices immediately.  So although you are in class longer, it doesn't require the same focus as homeschool.

high school homeschooling decisions

I've been agonizing a bit about the high school decision.  Chana orginally said she wanted to go to high school.  After visiting the open house, she realized that sitting through class is not something she wants to do.  She became more inclined to continue homeschooling.  I had hesitations about this for two reasons.  1) If she expressed a yearning for socialization, then not having socialization is probably not a good idea.  2) I was looking forward to the variety of exposure she would have to different teachers for limudei kodesh.  I am capable of teaching her just about every subject, but I thought it would be nice for her to hear other people's approach to Torah.  3) I thought it would be valuable for Chana to have more Jewish peers and spend time with girls who are both struggling with Torah and girls who are passionate about Torah.  (Yeah, that's not two reasons.  I thought of a third.  What, I should go back and change "two" to "three"?) and 4) Although I had always yearned to homeschool high school, and I was disappointed when Sarah chose to go to high school, I realized that deep down I was looking forward to giving up her education to someone else's responsibility.  I realized that I was blithely unschooling for elementary school because I knew that high school would "fill in the gaps."  But if I'm homeschooling for high school, then I either have to put my money where my mouth is for unschooling or else I have to step up and teach her math, writing, science, etc.

Although socialization is somewhat of an issue, one thing that changed from 7th grade is that her very good friend who had been homeschooled and then went to high school for 9th grade (last year) came home for 10th grade (this year).  So Chana sees her a lot more.  It's possible that we'll be able to work out her socialization.  However, I think she would make closer and better friends in high school.

I talked to someone who suggested sleepaway camp.  Chana did attend sleepaway camp (Camp Dina) going into 7th grade.  She enjoyed it immensely but also felt she didn't make permanent friendships, it was very structured, and she didn't have enough time to herself nor enough down time.  That doesn't rule out future sleepaway camp, though.

high school homeschooling

Chana is in the middle of applying to High School.  When she came home from sleepaway camp going into 7th grade, she told me she wanted to go to High School.  My older daughter Sarah went to High School (SKA) after never having gone to school at all and after being unschooled for the last few years of elementary school except for Chumash and Math.  Chana was completely unschooled until 3rd grade, when we started doing Chumash.  I did not unschool Chumash but unschooled everything else, including Math.  A lot of math came up naturally until fractions, when we just dropped math completely for about 3 years, except for an occasional lesson when it came up, where I tried to help Chana understand fractions, or the occasional math conversation, which didn't intimidate her or annoy her, and which she enjoyed, because she wasn't generally feeling overwhelmed with math.

When she told me she wanted to go to High School, I said, "Well, you're going to need to do math."  It turns out that unschooling math, which was a bit of a terrifying step for me, was an incredible choice.

• She easily picked up 3 years of math in 3 months (I heard these kinds of things happened in unschooling and I wouldn't have quite believed it if I didn't see it myself)
• She got to play for 3 years instead of struggling with subjects her brain wasn't ready to handle yet
• She doesn't feel intimidated or stressed by math
• She doesn't feel bad about herself or feel like she is "bad" at math

So she is preparing for the Algebra regents now, so she can enter 9th grade.  She filled out her application and she went to the open house.

She sat through the mini lessons.  6 mini lessons, 6 minutes each.  About half an hour of lessons.  They were very cute, interesting, some of them hands on.  (For example, the English mini lesson had us write our own 6 word memoirs.)  Chana came out of them a bit shell-shocked.  Chana has always been a kinesthetic learner, not as inclined to read or to listen or to see as to touch and do.  The idea of sitting from 9am to 5pm and passively have people talking at her was a bit horrifying to her.  

She drew up a list of pros and cons of school vs. homeschooling.  You can see that something that annoys her about homeschooling is that I drag her to classes for things she doesn't want to sit through.  Kal V'chomer for more hours a day.  I suggested part time, but she didn't feel that she gains advantages from that.

pros

potential friends

cons

less time for animation

violin difficult

lots of work

bored in class for lots of hours

being with people I don't want to be with

full time homeschool

pros

more time for animation

more time for violin

more time to do stuff I want

freedom of movement 

choice of activity

can make fun of teacher

cons

few friends

forced to be dragged to classes I don't want

have to be friendly to other homeschoolers

part time school/homeschool
pros:

can have a school atmosphere but for less time

cons:

still no time because have work and other stuff

have to do schoolwork

can't make friends part time

fretting

I woke up this morning fretting about Chana.  We are spending the week with my parents and we forgot her Chumash.  I was planning to do Chumash and math with her yesterday but we didn't get to it.  It's not such a big deal to have a week off.  But this morning, my brain was worrying.  First I was thinking about algebra.  Things are still under control to have her take the regents in June.  That got me thinking if I should have her take the BJEs.  If I do, I have to sign her up.  Most likely, she'll get into high school without them.  But if she takes them, they'll have a more accurate sense of her skills.  But on the other hand, she doesn't have much experience with tests, and is a bit slow taking tests, so is that actually an accurate reflection of her abilities?  I could have her practice taking the exam, but isn't that a lot of effort and for what end?  That got me started thinking about Hebrew regents and her generally dismal ability to write Hebrew.  I've started and fallen off the wagon on regularly working on that more times than I can remember.  Maybe I can talk to Chana about doing it twice a week and have her be in charge somehow.  Then I started thinking about Bamidbar.  We are only in the second parsha.  I wanted to finish Bamidbar and Devarim before she goes to high school.  Can we do that in one year?  Is that too much and too fast?

I realized amidst all this that if Chana were planning to stay home for high school, all of these concerns would melt away.  All of this is based on artificial criteria of "keeping up" to certain standards and has very little to do with actual knowledge or learning.

Chana wants to go to high school to make more friends.  I was once told by a sage Rebbetzin that if your teenager wants socialization, and you want academics, if you don't give them the socialization, you won't get the intellectual growth, either.

I would love to homeschool for high school.  It's a time with so much potential for learning and thinking.  Without the fetters of standards and testing and keeping up and memorization and grades, a self-directed learner can think deeply and creatively and have a fantastic education.  At least in my imagination.  I wonder if any of my children will choose that path.  In the meantime, Chana wants to go to high school and we are preparing for it.  I'm calming down all my concerns because she will be just fine.

follow up about math

I wrote in the previous post about how Chana was technically "behind" in math for 4 years, since she got confused about fractions, and I tried a few times, and then essentially taught her no official math until this year (7th grade).  I wrote that she didn't feel behind because she wasn't failing, she wasn't being confronted with math class after math class that she didn't understand because she hadn't mastered the previous skills, and instead of becoming more and more disheartened and convinced her math abilities were horrible, we just left it alone and picked it up this year, when I am delighted to report that she seems to have regained her math intuition and abilities.

I watched her do a division decimal problem (something like 4567.89/34.56) and I was thinking about how much multiplication and addition and subtraction has to be mastered to get to that point.  Next week I'll give her the same types of problems with positive and negative integers and see if she can incorporate it all.

I had said she didn't feel behind.  However, I would like to tell a story about what happened in sleepaway camp this summer.  As you may or may not know, middle school girls are notorious for being vicious.

I'm sure most homeschooled kids (being out and about in the real world) have experienced being questioned by matriculated kids.  Chana reports she gets a lot of "You're so lucky!"s and "How do you make friends?" (Rather a funny question to be asked in summer camp).   This time, one of them asked her a math question.  Chana did not know the answer.

"Are you planning to go to high school?"
Chana said yes.
"Do you know [gobbeltygobbeltygook-math]?"
"No.."
"Well, good luck in high school."

When Chana told me that, expressing glumly that she wasn't so good at math, I said, "Well, they've been sitting in math class for SEVEN years and you've been playing, and in one year you're going to learn everything and catch up."

She then told me the rest of the conversation:
Chana: "My sister went to high school."
"And she failed?"
"She got the math award."

Although I'm sorry that Chana had that somewhat uncomfortable experience, I stand by how we handled her math education.  The benefits of having her not experience frustration and spiral further and further into negativity, and then the bonus positive of her actually being interested in math and re-discovering her math intuition and mathematical insight is one of great delights of homeschooling.

discussion about when to matriculate to "real" school

Chana went off to sleepaway camp yesterday.  She's heading into 7th grade, and last year began making noises about not having enough friends (her two close friends and she are all going through phases where their growing personalities are emerging and developing and finding perhaps they want to expand their friendship horizons).  Her good homeschooling friend is entering high school this year, so she's going to feel more lonely.  I sent her to a local daycamp last year, which she enjoyed, and socially integrated into very easily (I know, I know, how did she know how?), and a couple of girls even called her for a few months afterwards, but she didn't make any special friends that she really clicked with.  So my options were to send her to school this year or to wait until high school.  I prefer to wait until high school, and so we decided to send her to sleepaway camp, where hopefully an immersion experience will help her find some close friends.  (I went to sleepaway camp and did not make any long term close friends, so I'm aware that it may not work.  But then again, it might.)

It was suggested to me that I send Chana to school, with the hope that she dislikes it intensely and then returns home and homeschools for high school.

I very much would love to homeschool my children for high school.  I think that the mind opens up remarkably in the teenage years, and the academic possibilities for homeschooling are a dream come true.  Having time and freedom and the ability to pursue academic interests is incredibly exciting.

However, teenagers are also incredibly social beings.  I teach in high school and although we do spend a lot of time accessing their intellects, we also spend a lot of time immersed in the social.

So, although Chana might thoroughly dislike school, I would not send her to school with the intention or hope that she should dislike it and come home.  But I will send her to camp, hoping that she will make some intimate friends.

Sarah is an extrovert.  Chana is a social introvert.  Chana despises schedules and being told what to do.  Chana spends 4-5 hours a day on her art.  Sarah doesn't mind schedules or authority.  I don't see school as the best fit for Chana, but if she wants to hang out with a bunch of like-minded Orthodox Jewish peers for a significant portion of the day, then she will certainly try out high school and see how it goes.  Sarah knew that she could decide at any point to return to homeschooling (she almost did, at the end of 10th grade, until she finally settled into a "chevra").  The same holds true for Chana.

In NY, there is a great group of teens and preteens who are homeschooling.  We could make an effort to join them.  But Chana desires intimate friendships with Orthodox Jewish girls.

unschooling is stalling out.  chana wants to go to school.  she is bored.  she is emotional.  she wants more friends.

part of this is her age.  the burst of hormones rushing through the bloodstream (if that's even scientifically accurate) is plenty for any human being to deal with.  but it's more than that.  this is the same age that sarah began to feel unhappy with homeschooling, too.  at the time, i thought it was because she had 2 close friends, and one of them moved away and the other went to school.  chana has a really nice social group, but no intimate friends that are girls.  i think that is what she is searching for.  and she is correct that it will be easier to find that in school than out of school.  i tried a variety of extracurricular activities and camps to help sarah meet girls at this age.  she socially integrated easily, but didn't make close friends (though it turns out, throughout her high school years, she was acquainted with a wide variety of people in various situations from these attempts).

is this a socialization issue?  is this just the age?  it's looking like it  won't be the best choice to homeschool chana for high school, either.  sometimes i think that for homeschooling to work best, it's great to have a few neighbors also homeschooling, with kids roughly your children's ages, so that they can happily play and play and play.

but to address the boredom issue.  chana still has 2 years left until high school.  although i think she would be able to tolerate sitting in class, it's something i'd prefer her to avoid.

i wonder if it's the unfurling spring that is causing her to to have a surge of energy that causes yearning inside her that she doesn't know how to answer.  sure, if she were in class for 8 hours a day plus some more time for homework she wouldn't be bored, but would that be addressing what she is looking for? but what IS she looking for?

i'm feeling like maybe it's time for me to not be so hands-off with her education.  every time i ask her if she wants to do something "educational," she vehemently says that is not what she wants.  in general, i don't really like organizing projects or hands-on activities. but chana doesn't learn anything from lectures, doesn't enjoy watching videos for information, doesn't like to read for information.  how will she get the idea that the world is an exciting, interesting place with many things to explore if she doesn't want to do the classic things people do to get information?  bear in mind, i've brought her to many museums and hand-on science classes, and she only enjoyed a small percentage of them.

but who is better equipped than i am to find activities that are perfectly designed for her temperament and interest?  i am thinking about making a list of possible activities to do when she is bored.  i feel like she would like to do something creative, hands-on, social, that expands her mind.  maybe i need to participate more in her activities for a while.

Choices:
i read a book to you
we go to the pet store
we go to MoMA
we go to a science museum to play with the exhibits
we go to a zoo
we make a playdate
we choose something to all sit around and draw
we read some navi and maybe make a video about it or a cartoon
play with prisms
see if an avocado seed or a bean or a potato can grow if we put it in water
diet pepsi and mentos
play with chalk outside
make a sundial
make a sun print with construction paper
look for origami paper and make something
try to make an egg float
see what happens when you put oil and water together
try to make quicksand
try to stab a potato with a straw
make music with water and glasses
make invisible ink
hold a glass of water upside down and it won't spill (hopefully!)
make a kind of lava lamp
blow up a balloon without your mouth
make a parachute
make water travel by itself from one glass to another
make lemonade fizzy drink
(i took those last bunch from an easy looking site: http://www.sciencekids.co.nz/experiments.html)

i'll let you know how she reacts to this list.

summer plans and navi

chumash is chugging along.  chana is planning to go to daycamp this summer.  she'd like to go to sleepaway camp, but it's expensive.  perhaps if she ends up being homeschooled for high school, we'll send her to sleepaway camp.  i know a lot of homeschoolers (myself included ;) get a little itchy about the socialization question.  but i can tell you, it's not the ability to socialize that is a problem.  and it's not the opportunity to socialize.  what does become problematic is 1. close intimate friends and 2. a large social group. 

as 6th grade approaches, there are a lot of social/physical/emotional changes going on for girls (and presumably for boys, but i have no idea yet).  girls who were friends for years switch allegiances and interests. 

i'm hoping chana will meet some local girls this summer.  she's old enough to walk to their houses by herself on shabbos.  it will be luck of the draw if she clicks with any girls and becomes close friends with them.  both she and sarah went to local daycamp at various points.  they had absolutely no trouble integrating, socializing, and making friends.  but they never clicked with anyone enough to keep the relationship going.

anyway, in past summers when chana chose not to go to camp, we kept our schedule the same as during the rest of the year, including chumash.  but she will probably not have enough time to devote to chumash.  though i would not like to drop it completely.  i have to figure out how to do chumash over the summer.

but a project i would really like to pick up is navi.  i really think chana would enjoy it.  however, i tried getting the little midrash says and it was both too difficult and too boring for her.  she didn't enjoy reading it.  i think she needs it to be more personalized.  i need to tell the story on exactly her level, and choose which stories to tell. 

this is going to take some preparation.  you may or may not know that i'm not a "prep" type homeschooler.  i sit down and whatever happens, happens.  but i think regarding navi, like the pesach seder, a little thought about

- where my child is at
- what approach would be enjoyable
- what specifically i'm going to teach and how

will go a long way.  i particularly would like to attempt an "unschooling" approach here, as a prototype for the future with the boys.  i don't have to worry about skills, because chana is getting skills via chumash.  i just want to make this really enjoyable.  i want her to love it.  i wonder if i'll be able to do that.  i'm imagining that i've been hired to teach a course.  that the child will remember and love for the rest of her life.

lice before pesach

in retrospect, getting lice a few days before pesach worked out great.  not only because of the real life lesson of the makkos.  but also because chana and i made a bargain.  i wouldn't whine and groan too much and keep threatening to cut her VERY long hair (my sister joked that really long hair becomes "really REALLY" long hair when dealing with lice, and long hair becomes VERY long hair) and in exchange, she would do chumash every time i combed out her hair.  combing out her hair 3x a day, 45 min each time, and we got a lot of chumash done :-)  we did chazara, rashis, and some new pesukim.  we did through revi'i, and reviewed it enough times that i feel like she had enough time to process it.  we started on the brachos.  chana is disturbed that reuven lost the kehuna and malchus.  (side note: i remember the translations somewhat from when sarah and i did it together).  sarah and i did a massive project on oaktag on the brachos.  chana and i will be referring to it.

the rashis we've chosen have pretty simple language.

chana decided that over pesach, she will choose when to do chumash and for how long.

how would homeschoolers get lice?  we must be socializing somewhere.