Best Use of My Time

I have to remember that conflict resolution is one of the most important things to me as a parent and homeschooler.  

Way back when my oldest was homeschooling, and I was trying to figure out how to manage my time and make decisions about what to teach, I did a "begin with the end in mind" approach where I thought about what things I wanted my adult children to have.  And then planned their education with that in mind.  

To recap, it was 4 things:

1. Basic reading, written communication, and math (I've since dropped math--they seem to figure out the basics of a calculator pretty easily)
2. A sufficient sense of responsibility that allows a person to hold down a job; i.e. show up on time and do your work diligently.
3. The capacity for satisfying and emotionally healthy relationships with a spouse, children, and friends.
4. A non-superstitious relationship to Judaism and Torah (I've since changed it to a love for Torah AND mitzvos, after some missteps in parenting during the teen years)

I've mentioned that physical fighting has gone down and we are seeing a lot of verbal disagreements with raised voices.  One of the things I've always loved about homeschooling is that there is time to slow down and handle these issues.  And what I love about unschooling is it seems like that IS the job.

So now I'm reminding myself not to get swept away by my own projects and the minutiae of running a fair-sized household and not to forget that when I hear the voices raised, I have nothing better to do than to go over to them or call them over to me, help them talk through the conflict, and learn and practice the tools to resolve it.

what are your goals?

one of the things i had to do, back when i was homeschooling sarah, was figure out what i wanted to teach and how i wanted to teach it. as per the franklin planner school of thought (and steven covey et al), the best way to figure out the details of your plan is to figure out the broad principles. then the things you need to do to achieve your principles become clearer.

i was reminded of this yesterday when i read in alfie kohn: "i can think of no better use of 15 minutes for any of us who are parents or teachers than pausing to think about -- and even to list on paper -- the long term goals we have for our children. what would we like them to be able to do, to want to do, to feel, to be like in the years to come?"

since i didn't seem to have time for all the academic things i wanted to get done. or i had time, but the students were SO resistant. so i had to figure out what i wanted from their education.