A long time ago I read an interesting study that kids can read (comprehend as in "reading comprehension") on a higher level if they are interested in the topic. Meaning if you have a story on the child's ostensible "reading level" you think that it is pretty objective. How complicated are the sentences, how many unfamiliar words do they have to get from context, etc.
But they found that let's say, a kid who can't read his 3rd grade reader can actually hack his way through something much more advanced if it's about airplanes and he loves airplanes.
This fascinated me because there isn't a direct correlation to "reading ablility." It has to do with motivation. Motivation actually makes the brain work differently. And better.
In a sense, unschooling follows this path and kids read what they want and never think about "reading ability" and "reading level." They try to read what they are interested in, and ask someone to read it to them if they have difficulty.
As I've spoken about, one of my kids has a learning disability where they have to read things up to seven times in order to comprehend it. And tends to gravitate towards gaining information in ways other than reading as a result.
But I just realized I didn't think twice about sending this neuropsychological analysis of aphantasia:
"Their self-reported selective inability to vividly recollect personally experienced events from a first-person perspective was corroborated by absence of functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) and event-related potential (ERP) biomarkers associated with naturalistic and laboratory episodic recollection, as well as by behavioral evidence of impaired episodic retrieval, particularly for visual information. Yet learning and memory were otherwise intact, as long as these tasks could be accomplished by non-episodic processes. Thus these individuals function normally in day-to-day life, even though their past is experienced in the absence of recollection."
Because I knew she'd be interested and be able to understand it.
Showing posts with label motivation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label motivation. Show all posts
Monday, December 30, 2019
Thursday, September 12, 2019
One of the things that makes Unschooling so Radical
Something that comes up when people worry about unschooling is: What if the kid grows up and feels that the parent has abdicated responsibility for educating them and the parent should have done a better job and forced them?
I've tried to explain that when unschoolers want to know something and feel like they need it, they simply pursue it. Ask for help if they need. (For example, when Chen took a college course and realized she didn't know exactly how to write an essay, she asked me to run through it with her and I told her about introductions, stating points, backing them up, and conclusions, and she began writing essays.) Today I read something by Caren Knox and it gave insight as to why this is and how it works and it absolutely resonated with my experience (bolding is mine):
Someone said that they find watching their children feeling bad about failing painful. She responded:
One thing I’ve noticed in most long-time unschoolers I’ve known is that they inherently understand that they’re learning all the time, and that they experience not reaching goals or not quite getting something, not as personal failure or a shortcoming, but as one step in learning. I doubt they’d even be able to express that, unless they’re particularly self-reflective; for them, taking “failure” personally isn’t part of their experience of life. (This, of course, also depends on the personality of the child. What I’m saying is what I’ve noticed, generally speaking.)
They’re able to assess what happened without self-recrimination. “Oh, I didn’t know xyz was part of this thing I’m trying. Now I know, so this time I’ll add in xyz and maybe it’ll work now.” “Jeez, I am not so great at organizing this thing. I’ll ask Banu how they did it for the thing they did.” [<——- Very doubtful any unschooler has said anything like this out loud. This is my clumsy attempt at portraying the inner, perhaps even unnoticed by them, thoughts of an unschooler facing something not working as they planned or imagined.]
In school, something not working means FAILURE. You had one chance, and you screwed up, so that’s it. You get an F or a C or some other measurement that means you did not get this thing, and you will not get this thing, because this is the only time in the curriculum this is done. And people seem to think that means something about you personally. “You’re bad at math.” “You’ll never be an engineer.” “You’re slow.” “You’re a bad student.” “You are falling behind.” “You have a disability.”
Unschoolers have experienced life differently. There is plenty of time to do what they’re trying, so not getting it the first time means they can assess and try again, learning each time. (They might learn they don’t want to do that thing as much as they thought they did.) If they see they’re not skilled in a certain area, it doesn’t mean that *they* are failures; they can choose to learn about that, or ask for help, or outsource, or all of those.
Most always-radically unschooled kids or long-time radical unschoolers are comfortable with the process of learning, which often involves failure.
It’s like a lot of video games. You move your character through obstacles, and if you fail, there’s another life right there for you to take what you learned (“Whoa, a Goomba comes at me there”) and make different choices (“I’ll kick this Koopa shell first, then go”). There’s no real-life failure or death, and there are infinite opportunities for you to start over (or from a save point) and take another go at it.
I've tried to explain that when unschoolers want to know something and feel like they need it, they simply pursue it. Ask for help if they need. (For example, when Chen took a college course and realized she didn't know exactly how to write an essay, she asked me to run through it with her and I told her about introductions, stating points, backing them up, and conclusions, and she began writing essays.) Today I read something by Caren Knox and it gave insight as to why this is and how it works and it absolutely resonated with my experience (bolding is mine):
Someone said that they find watching their children feeling bad about failing painful. She responded:
One thing I’ve noticed in most long-time unschoolers I’ve known is that they inherently understand that they’re learning all the time, and that they experience not reaching goals or not quite getting something, not as personal failure or a shortcoming, but as one step in learning. I doubt they’d even be able to express that, unless they’re particularly self-reflective; for them, taking “failure” personally isn’t part of their experience of life. (This, of course, also depends on the personality of the child. What I’m saying is what I’ve noticed, generally speaking.)
They’re able to assess what happened without self-recrimination. “Oh, I didn’t know xyz was part of this thing I’m trying. Now I know, so this time I’ll add in xyz and maybe it’ll work now.” “Jeez, I am not so great at organizing this thing. I’ll ask Banu how they did it for the thing they did.” [<——- Very doubtful any unschooler has said anything like this out loud. This is my clumsy attempt at portraying the inner, perhaps even unnoticed by them, thoughts of an unschooler facing something not working as they planned or imagined.]
In school, something not working means FAILURE. You had one chance, and you screwed up, so that’s it. You get an F or a C or some other measurement that means you did not get this thing, and you will not get this thing, because this is the only time in the curriculum this is done. And people seem to think that means something about you personally. “You’re bad at math.” “You’ll never be an engineer.” “You’re slow.” “You’re a bad student.” “You are falling behind.” “You have a disability.”
Unschoolers have experienced life differently. There is plenty of time to do what they’re trying, so not getting it the first time means they can assess and try again, learning each time. (They might learn they don’t want to do that thing as much as they thought they did.) If they see they’re not skilled in a certain area, it doesn’t mean that *they* are failures; they can choose to learn about that, or ask for help, or outsource, or all of those.
Most always-radically unschooled kids or long-time radical unschoolers are comfortable with the process of learning, which often involves failure.
It’s like a lot of video games. You move your character through obstacles, and if you fail, there’s another life right there for you to take what you learned (“Whoa, a Goomba comes at me there”) and make different choices (“I’ll kick this Koopa shell first, then go”). There’s no real-life failure or death, and there are infinite opportunities for you to start over (or from a save point) and take another go at it.
Tuesday, August 27, 2019
No Vacation in Unschooling
Every once in a while, I realize that unschooling has made me see things really differently than most of society. It crept upon me so gradually, I don't realize it until I end up hearing things that seem jarring.
People ask me how my summer is going. They ask when we are starting school. I say, No, we go year round. No difference between summer and the rest of the year. They commiserate with my poor kids. This feels strange to me.
Jack asked me to sit in the back seat with him when we were driving home from my parents so that we can learn a perek of Chumash together. He doesn't feel like learning is something he needs a break from. When he wants to learn it, he asks me. He doesn't feel like he's on "vacation" from learning or needs a break. Learning is part of life.
In the middle of learning Chumash, Aharon interrupts us to ask for division problems. Ari is giving Elazar math problems from the front seat.
The pediatrician and Chen were discussing her medication for college. He said she should wait until she gets her schedule, then give him a call so they can discuss dosage and strategy. I said, "But what is she supposed to do for the next two weeks?" He said, "What are you talking about? College doesn't start for two more weeks." I said, "But she's been learning calculus most days. She needs some pills so she can do math." He doesn't understand. She graduated high school. She's not in school yet. Why is she learning Calc now? For fun.
Who learns complicated math for fun during the summer? The doctor is baffled.
The pediatrician also asks her what classes she is interested in for college. "Chemistry," Chen says. "Science major?" the doctor asks. Chen shrugs. "No, I just want to learn it." Pediatrician frowns. "Why would you take a hard science if you don't need it for your major?" "It seems interesting," Chen says. For many people, college is about finishing on time, requirements, a major. For Chen it is about learning what her heart calls her to learn.
"Can you send me that perek where Moshe tells Hashem he gave birth to the Jews and nursed them like a baby?" Chen asks. "I want to send the source to my friend."
"When can we do the blood type kit?" Jack begs me. I bought it a couple of weeks ago but planned to wait until September. He keeps asking me.
I'm highlighting the "educational" stuff. They don't distinguish between "educational" and "interesting" and "fun." It's all the same to them. I forget, until I see other people's attitudes, that there is a distinction in most people's lives.
People ask me how my summer is going. They ask when we are starting school. I say, No, we go year round. No difference between summer and the rest of the year. They commiserate with my poor kids. This feels strange to me.
Jack asked me to sit in the back seat with him when we were driving home from my parents so that we can learn a perek of Chumash together. He doesn't feel like learning is something he needs a break from. When he wants to learn it, he asks me. He doesn't feel like he's on "vacation" from learning or needs a break. Learning is part of life.
In the middle of learning Chumash, Aharon interrupts us to ask for division problems. Ari is giving Elazar math problems from the front seat.
The pediatrician and Chen were discussing her medication for college. He said she should wait until she gets her schedule, then give him a call so they can discuss dosage and strategy. I said, "But what is she supposed to do for the next two weeks?" He said, "What are you talking about? College doesn't start for two more weeks." I said, "But she's been learning calculus most days. She needs some pills so she can do math." He doesn't understand. She graduated high school. She's not in school yet. Why is she learning Calc now? For fun.
Who learns complicated math for fun during the summer? The doctor is baffled.
The pediatrician also asks her what classes she is interested in for college. "Chemistry," Chen says. "Science major?" the doctor asks. Chen shrugs. "No, I just want to learn it." Pediatrician frowns. "Why would you take a hard science if you don't need it for your major?" "It seems interesting," Chen says. For many people, college is about finishing on time, requirements, a major. For Chen it is about learning what her heart calls her to learn.
"Can you send me that perek where Moshe tells Hashem he gave birth to the Jews and nursed them like a baby?" Chen asks. "I want to send the source to my friend."
"When can we do the blood type kit?" Jack begs me. I bought it a couple of weeks ago but planned to wait until September. He keeps asking me.
I'm highlighting the "educational" stuff. They don't distinguish between "educational" and "interesting" and "fun." It's all the same to them. I forget, until I see other people's attitudes, that there is a distinction in most people's lives.
Thursday, August 15, 2019
college
I'm a member of an unschooling group, and they were discussing what makes someone an experienced unschooler. Among disqualifications:
- your kids are young
- you unschool "except" a subject
- valuing one type of learning over another
And then the line that hit me between the eyes: If you are not worried about what your 18 year old will do with their life, you are experienced.
Ha! That's right where I am right now. (Except I am worried, and I'm not experienced.)
So I've been "deschooling," which means working to get out of the schooly mindset.
Among the schooly mindset:
- college is vital to get a good job in life
- college must be done at age 18 (or after the year in israel/gap year)
- college must be done full time
Chen has a confluence of personality quirks and learning disabilities (or neurodivergences, as makes more sense to me) which led us to unschooling.
She's been saying that she wants to take a gap year before college. Why? Because she doesn't learn well via lecture, or reading, or auditory listening. She learns best as an autodidact plus someone to ask one on one questions to. That is not college. And she'd like a year off to...drumroll, please... learn what she wants to learn.
Yes, ladies and gentleman. An unschooled child would like to take a year off to learn.
She's spent the summer learning. Math, science, art, business, who knows what else. We went to the doctor to get a refill of her ADHD meds, and he said to come back when she knows her fall schedule so they can work out the dosage. We said but wait, she's almost out of pills and what about the next two weeks of summer. She's been studying for two to three hours a few times a week.
He couldn't even comprehend that someone would be studying for no reason. Not for college, not for high school requirements, just to learn. (This is the same doctor who for years quizzed my children on things they did not know--math, history, etc.).
I always used to say that homeschoolers (kal v'chomer unschoolers) tend to play more when they are young and get more serious about studies when they are older.
Now I would say that playing is a form of learning. And it often isn't until 11th and 12th grade (or even beyond) when they start learning the way society recognizes learning. But they are always learning.
So I've been trying to settle down and mentally give Chen the space to take the next four years to continue her studies as she wishes. Don't go to college? Okay. Take only one class? Okay.
I've been sitting with this for about four months and I'm a lot calmer now (though surely there is more to deschool) and it almost becomes difficult to understand why I was pressuring her. Why, when she has always been very on point about recognizing her abilities and what was too much for her, would I not trust her now? Why, when she has researched and found options and taught herself and requested testing and requested medication and found resources and asked for her needs, would I doubt her abilities and assessments at this point?
So I backed off and supported her. If she wants to defer, let her defer. I began to view college as an opportunity for her to explore interesting things. They have a new program this year--QCin4: to help students stay on track so they graduate in four years.
I applaud this program for neurotypical students and I'm glad the school is helping college students stay on track to graduate. But that route is not for Chen. Maybe in the future, if she wants it. But right now, college has many wonderful classes and opportunities. It's a chance to explore a range of subjects. There are athletics, art and drawing (there is a class on writing and drawing manga!), writing, business, math, science. History, anthropology. Once I relaxed, I began to see how many interesting things there are in the framework of unschooling, as opposed to trying to get a degree.
I was curious to see what Chen would decide to do. Once I got out of my own way and stopped worrying about her choices, I became much more relaxed. Would she defer? Maybe. Would she take Bio? Chem? Calculus? How would it be in college? Would it work for her? I am looking forward to seeing.
Yesterday was registration and although Chen was adamant about either deferring or taking only one class, the advisor was great and she is taking two classes and looking forward to them. Pre-calc so she can stop seeking an online curriculum that will fill in her gaps and microeconomics so she can learn more about entrepreneurship. They are 2 days a week, giving her recovery days.
She also made an appointment with student services to get extra testing time, and hopefully a copy of notes and breaks during tests. They offer counseling to help students stay on top of studying and work organization. Hopefully her accommodations will be in place after next week, which will be helpful in whatever she ends up doing in college.
Homeschooling neurodivergent kids is great because you can really give them the focused attention they need and tailor their education to their learning differences. But it's a worry about whether or not they'll be able to get accommodations in college, if they haven't gone through the system and have alternate documentation. I'll feel better once that's in place.
But the cool thing about unschooling is that it's not fraught. If it doesn't work out, no big deal. There's always another approach. It's tremendous freedom.
Friday, July 5, 2019
Summer Update III: College
College. First, Chen wants to defer. She wants a semester to mentally prepare for going to college. She wants to pre-learn Calculus so that she can understand the course and not drown while she takes the course.
I was resistant, and wanted her to take one course. Drama. Dance. Once or twice a week.
She rightfully argued that it's about 2 hours to commute, plus time in the class. That's twice a week that she loses 3.5 hours a day, which really loses her the whole day because she doesn't cram things into a day.
If it's stressful enough where she needs a day to recuperate, i.e. a day of doing nothing after an eventful day, then she loses 4 days. So she really won't have time to learn Calculus.
Ironic, isn't it, that she wants to go to college so she can go to the Hillel and meet people (i.e. socialization) but it will interfere with her education?
She also said that she wants to take difficult classes so she can meet smart people.
I agree with her points. However, I am concerned that for the first time, she won't be getting out of the house regularly and seeing people. All of her friends from the local High School I work at will be in Israel for the year. Her local friends will be in college and not available to hang out during the week or even much on weekends. I don't think she realizes how socially isolated she'll be.
I brought that up and she agreed to give it some thought.
We have a few things left:
I was resistant, and wanted her to take one course. Drama. Dance. Once or twice a week.
She rightfully argued that it's about 2 hours to commute, plus time in the class. That's twice a week that she loses 3.5 hours a day, which really loses her the whole day because she doesn't cram things into a day.
If it's stressful enough where she needs a day to recuperate, i.e. a day of doing nothing after an eventful day, then she loses 4 days. So she really won't have time to learn Calculus.
Ironic, isn't it, that she wants to go to college so she can go to the Hillel and meet people (i.e. socialization) but it will interfere with her education?
She also said that she wants to take difficult classes so she can meet smart people.
I agree with her points. However, I am concerned that for the first time, she won't be getting out of the house regularly and seeing people. All of her friends from the local High School I work at will be in Israel for the year. Her local friends will be in college and not available to hang out during the week or even much on weekends. I don't think she realizes how socially isolated she'll be.
I brought that up and she agreed to give it some thought.
We have a few things left:
- Get that letter of Completion from the district. Nobody is answering my calls or emails. That may be because it is July and everyone is on vacation. That may be because that's how it is. Chen needs that for Queens College, so hopefully that will be compelling. I'll have to keep calling. That's on my mind.
- See if Chen can get accommodations in Queens College. That will probably make a huge difference in both her attitude and also her actual ability to take classes there.
- Either defer or register for one course. Chen has been studying to take the test for online Bio 101 and she realized that maybe Bio with lab may also be a good choice for a first course. I also think Chem with lab would be a good choice for her.
- She has to take a math exam for QC to see if she qualifies to take Calculus. Exams make her nervous. So she has to discuss what is involved with that and if she can get extra time for that.
Summer Update I: bar mitzva prep
Things have been kind of brewing under the surface. Everyone grew recently. Lots and lots of inches. Suddenly, they are all big.
Elazar has been showing an interest in davening. He asked about going to mincha, because it seemed short. A week or two after that, he asked to go on a specific day (or Ari invited him, I don't remember). And now he's been going to mincha regularly and asking about maariv on Motzei Shabbos.
This past week I told him that he can daven in English, and he said what about saying Hashem's name? Doesn't that have to be in Hebrew? I said ideally yes and he can say "Adonai" if he sees "God" but if it's too difficult, he can just say it in English. He got pretty excited about that but asked how he will know the English. I showed him that there are siddurs with English and he was thrilled. Ari gave him one in shul. Yesterday I told him that there is no rush to finish the whole thing while everyone is davening, and if he wants to slow down and try to understand parts of it a little at a time, that's more important than actually saying the whole thing. He said but he can't ask either of us what something means in the middle of davening--me because I'm not there, and Ari because he's davening. We said you can ask us later or just try to figure it out from context.
On a side note, the boys played a trivia game yesterday and I understood from the adult playing with them that it was a game "for those who are in school," i.e. my kids didn't know the answers.
I'm trying to think carefully about Elazar's next year. I want to prepare him for as much as he can do before his bar mitzva, but I want to be very careful. It seems to me that waiting a year or two or five or even ten for him to be motivated and do things with joy and because of his own desire would be FAR preferable than pushing him to do it so he is ready and capable at bar mitzva. It's a tricky line. The more I think about it, the more it makes sense to wait. On the other hand, there is something about anticipating responsibility and preparing for it with respect and eagerness. (I suppose "eagerness" being key, and if "eagerness" slides into "dread" maybe we want to stop well before that.)
Elazar has been showing an interest in davening. He asked about going to mincha, because it seemed short. A week or two after that, he asked to go on a specific day (or Ari invited him, I don't remember). And now he's been going to mincha regularly and asking about maariv on Motzei Shabbos.
This past week I told him that he can daven in English, and he said what about saying Hashem's name? Doesn't that have to be in Hebrew? I said ideally yes and he can say "Adonai" if he sees "God" but if it's too difficult, he can just say it in English. He got pretty excited about that but asked how he will know the English. I showed him that there are siddurs with English and he was thrilled. Ari gave him one in shul. Yesterday I told him that there is no rush to finish the whole thing while everyone is davening, and if he wants to slow down and try to understand parts of it a little at a time, that's more important than actually saying the whole thing. He said but he can't ask either of us what something means in the middle of davening--me because I'm not there, and Ari because he's davening. We said you can ask us later or just try to figure it out from context.
On a side note, the boys played a trivia game yesterday and I understood from the adult playing with them that it was a game "for those who are in school," i.e. my kids didn't know the answers.
I'm trying to think carefully about Elazar's next year. I want to prepare him for as much as he can do before his bar mitzva, but I want to be very careful. It seems to me that waiting a year or two or five or even ten for him to be motivated and do things with joy and because of his own desire would be FAR preferable than pushing him to do it so he is ready and capable at bar mitzva. It's a tricky line. The more I think about it, the more it makes sense to wait. On the other hand, there is something about anticipating responsibility and preparing for it with respect and eagerness. (I suppose "eagerness" being key, and if "eagerness" slides into "dread" maybe we want to stop well before that.)
Thursday, August 3, 2017
How 11th Grade Unschooler comes to learn Earth Science
It all started with the Office. I looked for a clip of the scene but only found a picture:
Kiisu (going by her Japanese name these days because of her great love of Japan) was enjoying the scene but didn't understand the subtleties of this joke. She decided she wanted to have a better grasp of clouds. She then spent about half an hour researching clouds, how they are formed, what the different clouds mean and what conditions cause them. She then discussed this with people online, telling them about what she learned and answering their questions, which led her to more research.
This is probably more efficient than classroom learning because it's very targeted and she will probably remember it better, since it emerged from her desire to know it.
She said to me, "I know you asked me to jot down when I do things like that, but it's pretty impossible because this happens all the time. I don't even notice when I'm doing it."
That's because for unschoolers, learning and life are not two separate activities. They don't try to avoid learning or have negative associations with learning because they generally don't learn what they don't want to. The only reason I even became aware that Kiisu had studied some Earth Science topics is because we were walking on the beach and it started raining and she began pointing out all of the different types of clouds.
This is probably more efficient than classroom learning because it's very targeted and she will probably remember it better, since it emerged from her desire to know it.
She said to me, "I know you asked me to jot down when I do things like that, but it's pretty impossible because this happens all the time. I don't even notice when I'm doing it."
That's because for unschoolers, learning and life are not two separate activities. They don't try to avoid learning or have negative associations with learning because they generally don't learn what they don't want to. The only reason I even became aware that Kiisu had studied some Earth Science topics is because we were walking on the beach and it started raining and she began pointing out all of the different types of clouds.
Wednesday, September 14, 2016
In the scary part of unschooling
So how many days has it been since I decided to wait for Chana to ask me to learn? 9 days. I asked her to read a chapter in a book with me and that reminded her that we are in the middle of the Stranger, so we have been reading some of that. But no biology. No navi.
Without spending that hour+ a day with her, I feel like I barely speak to my teen. She spends most of the day in her room, except when she's out.
Instead of trying to get back to schoolwork (even though I love learning Bio with her and I really, really miss it), I'm going to try to focus on connection. When I feel the urge to ask her to learn with me, I'm going to try to channel that urge into seeking a meaningful and positive emotional interaction with her.
I feel like I'm back in the baby steps of unschooling. Can I trust my child? Can I trust unschooling? Will it work? I have to go over and over again in my mind the principle that if she chooses to do it, it will be more interesting and more meaningful; it will take shorter for her to understand it and she will remember it without much effort. Patience.
I asked Elazar if he wanted to learn with me this morning and he said No.
Without spending that hour+ a day with her, I feel like I barely speak to my teen. She spends most of the day in her room, except when she's out.
Instead of trying to get back to schoolwork (even though I love learning Bio with her and I really, really miss it), I'm going to try to focus on connection. When I feel the urge to ask her to learn with me, I'm going to try to channel that urge into seeking a meaningful and positive emotional interaction with her.
I feel like I'm back in the baby steps of unschooling. Can I trust my child? Can I trust unschooling? Will it work? I have to go over and over again in my mind the principle that if she chooses to do it, it will be more interesting and more meaningful; it will take shorter for her to understand it and she will remember it without much effort. Patience.
I asked Elazar if he wanted to learn with me this morning and he said No.
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
motivation
I was thinking today that maybe I made a mistake about Elazar's computer. Maybe we should just get him a computer because it's an educational aid and it helps him do research and learn things. Because trying to teach him when he's not in the mood is painful for him and painful for me, and annoying to both of us.
I remember when I was in my 20s and I was idealistic and energetic about teaching. I felt like anyone could be coaxed into learning if I found their learning style and made it pleasant. But now it's 2 decades later and I feel like it doesn't make so much sense to try to coax children (or people) to learn things. How about you go play and learn/do whatever you want, and if you want me to teach you something, come over to me and I'll teach you whatever you want to learn. This way you're attentive and motivated, and it's efficient and painless.
I know there are many, many educational situations in life where people learn things that they would not have learned otherwise and gain tremendously and even change the course of their lives. I think there are wonderful teachers out there, trying to engage students, trying to motivate them, and that's great.
A friend of mine posted an article by Peter Gray that really does reflect a lot of my experiences with Elazar (and some other kids I've seen with diagnosed adhd).
- the ADHD characteristics don't vanish when the kids leave conventional school, but the characteristics are no longer as big a problem as they were before;
- ADHD-diagnosed kids seem to do especially well when they are allowed to take charge of their own education.
- children's behavior, moods, and learning generally improved when they stopped conventional schooling, not because their ADHD characteristics vanished but because they were now in a situation where they could learn to deal with those characteristics.
- The ADHD label is applied to two very different sorts of kids. One type really has "Attention Surfeit Disorder." Most of these get deeply involved in exactly what they want to do... They get labeled ADD not because they can't attend but because they have no coping mechanisms for enforced boredom..... The other type are simply physically active to the point of being problematic when quiet is called for.
This had me thinking, why am I bothering trying to get him to sit down? I know a lot of beginning unschoolers grapple with the questions of "will they ever learn to focus" "will they ever learn self-discipline if they can always follow their learning inclinations" "will they ever learn they have to do things they don't want to do." If I haven't already addressed these questions to your satisfaction, let me know and I can write more about it. For now, suffice it to say these questions no longer concern me. It's more the opposite: why am I attempting to motivate him when it's more efficient to just wait for his own motivation to carry him?
As I was thinking about this, I turned to Elazar and said that when we get home, I'd like to learn Torah with him a bit before he goes onto the computer. I asked him what he wants to learn and he grinned and said, "Shema!" We started reviewing it in the car and he reviewed what part of the pasuk means.
I remember when I was in my 20s and I was idealistic and energetic about teaching. I felt like anyone could be coaxed into learning if I found their learning style and made it pleasant. But now it's 2 decades later and I feel like it doesn't make so much sense to try to coax children (or people) to learn things. How about you go play and learn/do whatever you want, and if you want me to teach you something, come over to me and I'll teach you whatever you want to learn. This way you're attentive and motivated, and it's efficient and painless.
I know there are many, many educational situations in life where people learn things that they would not have learned otherwise and gain tremendously and even change the course of their lives. I think there are wonderful teachers out there, trying to engage students, trying to motivate them, and that's great.
A friend of mine posted an article by Peter Gray that really does reflect a lot of my experiences with Elazar (and some other kids I've seen with diagnosed adhd).
- the ADHD characteristics don't vanish when the kids leave conventional school, but the characteristics are no longer as big a problem as they were before;
- ADHD-diagnosed kids seem to do especially well when they are allowed to take charge of their own education.
- children's behavior, moods, and learning generally improved when they stopped conventional schooling, not because their ADHD characteristics vanished but because they were now in a situation where they could learn to deal with those characteristics.
- The ADHD label is applied to two very different sorts of kids. One type really has "Attention Surfeit Disorder." Most of these get deeply involved in exactly what they want to do... They get labeled ADD not because they can't attend but because they have no coping mechanisms for enforced boredom..... The other type are simply physically active to the point of being problematic when quiet is called for.
This had me thinking, why am I bothering trying to get him to sit down? I know a lot of beginning unschoolers grapple with the questions of "will they ever learn to focus" "will they ever learn self-discipline if they can always follow their learning inclinations" "will they ever learn they have to do things they don't want to do." If I haven't already addressed these questions to your satisfaction, let me know and I can write more about it. For now, suffice it to say these questions no longer concern me. It's more the opposite: why am I attempting to motivate him when it's more efficient to just wait for his own motivation to carry him?
As I was thinking about this, I turned to Elazar and said that when we get home, I'd like to learn Torah with him a bit before he goes onto the computer. I asked him what he wants to learn and he grinned and said, "Shema!" We started reviewing it in the car and he reviewed what part of the pasuk means.
Friday, May 17, 2013
what if grade level is a myth
What if grade level varied from school to school, and from culture to culture?
What if 40 years ago, five year olds played in school all day and had a nap, and now five year olds are supposed to sit at desks and do "school work"?
What if children used to physically play and be outdoors for a lot more hours than they are now?
What if the standard accepted things that students are "supposed" to know at each grade level are not necessarily logical or a natural progression? What if standards kept changing every few years or every generation? What if they tried teaching math one way, and then the next generation they switched, and then the generation after, they switched back? And what if different countries do a whole different method and timing?
What if the things that "most" children are able to do by xyz age are actually things that a growing number of children need to be medicated in order to do?
What if kids from some schools came into high school being really strong in math, and some kids came into high school being really strong in science, and all the different kids come in from different schools with different strengths and weaknesses based on the school they went to?
What if children who move to a new neighborhood and switch schools find that they are a little off, ahead in some areas and behind in others, in their new school?
What if a motivated post-high school student can start from scratch and learn to read and understand Hebrew and Aramaic in two to four years? What if a motivated student can learn the entire 1-12 mathematics curriculum at college age in one semester--less than four months?
So what are you so worried about? Relax.
What if 40 years ago, five year olds played in school all day and had a nap, and now five year olds are supposed to sit at desks and do "school work"?
What if children used to physically play and be outdoors for a lot more hours than they are now?
What if the standard accepted things that students are "supposed" to know at each grade level are not necessarily logical or a natural progression? What if standards kept changing every few years or every generation? What if they tried teaching math one way, and then the next generation they switched, and then the generation after, they switched back? And what if different countries do a whole different method and timing?
What if the things that "most" children are able to do by xyz age are actually things that a growing number of children need to be medicated in order to do?
What if kids from some schools came into high school being really strong in math, and some kids came into high school being really strong in science, and all the different kids come in from different schools with different strengths and weaknesses based on the school they went to?
What if children who move to a new neighborhood and switch schools find that they are a little off, ahead in some areas and behind in others, in their new school?
What if a motivated post-high school student can start from scratch and learn to read and understand Hebrew and Aramaic in two to four years? What if a motivated student can learn the entire 1-12 mathematics curriculum at college age in one semester--less than four months?
So what are you so worried about? Relax.
Monday, January 7, 2013
behold the magnificent creativity of your child
I have a new policy in the kitchen. No stools. That's because Aharon (18mo) kept climbing onto them and then onto the table and dumping my plants. And the cleanup annoyed me. So no stools until he has sufficient control to climb without dumping.
This is disturbing to Jack and Elazar, who often climb on the stools to help me cook and bake. Now they can't see. So they've all been dragging the stools back and forth, and Aharon realized that he, too, can, with effort, drag a stool.
Then I take it away from him and he shrieks.
Then he realized that he can use the bench in the bathroom. He can easily carry that, and it's high enough for him to see, but not high enough for him to climb onto the table. He can step up and get the box of cheerios from on top of the radiator. He can climb into the sink with it. So he's managing.
Then this morning, Jack and Aharon pulled over the giant empty jugs from the water cooler and started standing on them.
This got me thinking about Work Ethic and Diligence and Sticking to A Goal and Persevering and having the ability to keep doing something until it gets done. Something that many people who hear about unschooling are skeptical can be achieved.
As I watched these children circumvent and circumvent my restrictions, and strive and be creative in pursuit of a goal they greatly desired (being able to reach things in the kitchen), i thought about how human beings, by nature, are absurdly innovative and ingenious at getting what they want. (Excuse me while I remove the box of wacky macs that Aharon is opening with his teeth because I wouldn't open it for him.) And what do many of us do? We tell children not to be that way. Stop that. Don't do that. It's annoying. It's bothering us. It's wild. It's inappropriate. It's making a mess.
What we do is slowly kill their motivation to pursue their goals. Now they are civilized. But not very creative, innovative, or joyous.
I'm not saying let them do whatever they want all the time, no matter what. I'm still not allowing stools in the kitchen. But be mindful that the creative pursuit of a goal is a beautiful thing that brings much happiness and satisfaction in life.
This is disturbing to Jack and Elazar, who often climb on the stools to help me cook and bake. Now they can't see. So they've all been dragging the stools back and forth, and Aharon realized that he, too, can, with effort, drag a stool.
Then I take it away from him and he shrieks.
Then he realized that he can use the bench in the bathroom. He can easily carry that, and it's high enough for him to see, but not high enough for him to climb onto the table. He can step up and get the box of cheerios from on top of the radiator. He can climb into the sink with it. So he's managing.
Then this morning, Jack and Aharon pulled over the giant empty jugs from the water cooler and started standing on them.
This got me thinking about Work Ethic and Diligence and Sticking to A Goal and Persevering and having the ability to keep doing something until it gets done. Something that many people who hear about unschooling are skeptical can be achieved.
As I watched these children circumvent and circumvent my restrictions, and strive and be creative in pursuit of a goal they greatly desired (being able to reach things in the kitchen), i thought about how human beings, by nature, are absurdly innovative and ingenious at getting what they want. (Excuse me while I remove the box of wacky macs that Aharon is opening with his teeth because I wouldn't open it for him.) And what do many of us do? We tell children not to be that way. Stop that. Don't do that. It's annoying. It's bothering us. It's wild. It's inappropriate. It's making a mess.
What we do is slowly kill their motivation to pursue their goals. Now they are civilized. But not very creative, innovative, or joyous.
I'm not saying let them do whatever they want all the time, no matter what. I'm still not allowing stools in the kitchen. But be mindful that the creative pursuit of a goal is a beautiful thing that brings much happiness and satisfaction in life.
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