A's story

A's socialization has a long and complicated history.  He's the youngest of 3 boys.  He fights to keep up, making him the strongest and most determined.  He's also frequently left out on the block.  For many years, when he was 2-4, I was pretty sad about how he had nobody to play with.  I would have sent him to preschool but he was very aggressive and angry at ages 3-4 (maybe because he was unhappy, but I didn't think school would help).  Eventually at around age 6.5 he became utterly delightful.  And things the year or so before that shifted around socially--some neighbors became old enough to play with him, some other kids shifted socially to older kids, leaving the younger kids they used to play with (who were older than A) looking to younger kids for socialization.  An older kid ended up having a new baby and really enjoyed horsing around with A in an aggressively playful way that A adored and that the baby couldn't tolerate.

So this past year+, A's socialization has not been much of a concern for me and he hasn't been so miserable.  I thought a lot about that, since I remember how terribly I worried and agonized about his socialization.  It's important for me to realize how things can shift and things do change for the better in these situations.

In the winter, when A said that he wanted to go to camp for only one month, I figured he knows what it's like after last year, and if he wants it, fine.

He came home happy the first day.  But then he didn't want to go the second day.  He cried himself to sleep.  (It's only in the last month that he stopped crying himself to sleep.  I don't know if I posted about that...I just stopped to check and I found a draft from January that says: "You know why I hate bedtime? Because it's not sweetness and sunshine and cuddling and intimate conversation.")

The next day I said go for half the day.  He did.  He came home and said it was great.  I said, OK, you'll go half days.  He started backpedaling: It's not great.  It was okay.  No, it was terrible, awful.  He's not going.

He cried and cried.  He cried and begged and said I can't make him go.

Then he cried more at night.

I began to think, like last year, if it's so horrible, that he shouldn't go.  Why torture him?

But I was in conflict.

He was happy when he came home.  He said it was ok.  I get that the learning and davening was boring for him, but if he skips that, it didn't seem so bad.

Also, he has expressed that he wants more friends.  Maybe he should give it some more time?

He cried himself to sleep again last night.  I spent the evening pondering over whether his intense negative reaction means that I should let him stay home, or if the things he is upset about are things we should try to work through, and it would be beneficial for him to go.

This morning, first thing he said when he woke up is that he's not going to camp and I can't make him.

We made a list. (It turns out it's a challenge to make a list when I speak Hebrew and he can't read Hebrew)

My side and his side.
My side says that he needs time to make friends, I paid the money and he said it was OK and not horrible, I think that he needs time to adjust and he will get more comfortable, and he likes arts&crafts, swimming, and ball.

His side says that the other kids don't play with him, he's homesick, it's boring, and it's long.

He told me that we both have 4 points, and his points are way better than my points.  I told him that I thought my 4 points were pretty convincing.

Then we began to talk about him not having friends and the other kids not playing with him.  We've been talking a lot about that over the past few months because his hot-headedness, sore loserness, and refusal to accept when he's out, coupled with his younger age, have not been endearing him to the gang in the playground.  I had suggested in the past that he try to walk off the field if they tell him he's out, and see if that makes them more inclined to allow him to join the game.
I've really been wanting him to have the opportunity to play with peers.  He's constantly the youngest (a negative of being homeschooled in the social environment on our block) and I think he would shine with peers.

So we spoke about making friends and talking to people.  I asked him if he wanted me to google "how to make friends."  He did, and I googled "how to make friends age 7."  The first 8 hits were article for me, and not that useful, but the 9th, a wikihow with pictures, was the jackpot.

https://www.wikihow.com/Make-New-Friends-at-School

I went through a bunch of the pictures and discussed different ways to make friends.  I wrote down (you can see in the picture in the bottom right): make eye contact, smile, don't act nervous.

Then we role played a bit, with me smiling or him smiling and not smiling and seeing if it felt different to be smiled at or not smiled at.

He said, "but they didn't read the article!"  I tried to explain that the article was writing what was already true.  I'm not sure how much he understood that.

I told him firmly that I was making him go, and that he doesn't have to go next summer, and that he can go only half the day.  He fought it a bit, but when he got upset, I turned the conversation to his nervousness about making friends, and he calmed down each time.  Which maybe means that I'm on the right track and that's the issue, in which case he should keep going and try to make some progress there.

He threw things at me, which I converted to a game of catch, and he gradually got ready to go, and he went.

Ari took him and came back and reported that as soon as he went, a couple of kids came over to talk to him.  But A is extremely shy.  So shy he can't make eye contact, or answer them, or smile at them.

I said, "That's so funny you mention those things.  Those are exactly what I told him to do this morning." And I showed him the picture.

But he said that he was unable to do them because of extreme shyness.

It's interesting that since he's homeschooled, I actually had no idea that he was that shy.  He's not like my shy child who is so shy even around me and who told me when he was four years old that "I can only speak to people I love."  A has always been perfectly able to talk to people and has gone off places on his own.  I didn't realize he was feeling so paralyzed socially.  No wonder he's stressed and unhappy.

I found this post from August 2017 in drafts

So I thought camp was going well.  Camp is going well.  6yo was happy.  He's the child that I often felt would do well in school.  He doesn't have sitting issues.  He likes to learn the way that schools teach.  He is social.  He's not shy or nervous.

The only reason I didn't send him to preschool (aside from the $7-9,000 price tag) is that he was a rather intense toddler who had lots of tantrums and violent behavior.  He kicked, hit, and bit.  I felt that this behavior is difficult for the preschool classroom and was not sure that the teachers would handle it in a way that was effective and at the same time not shaming.  (Heck, I barely skated by on the skin of my teeth on that goal, so I was reluctant to foist it on the preschool teachers with 20 other kids in the room.)  But he grew up, he wants friends, and I thought camp was a great environment for that.

He's learning, he's davening, he has friends.  Camp is lovely.

Except when he doesn't want to go.  And complains that it's boring.  And he has to sit for so long.

This morning, he said he doesn't want to go to camp anymore.  It's been like that--some days he goes happily, some days he says he doesn't want to go anymore.  Today, he started throwing things at me.  His shoes, a large lego, a puzzle.

It occurred to me that he's throwing things at me because he feels that I'm not hearing him.  And he's saying that he doesn't want to go.

I was planning to send him only a half-day today because it's Friday and we want to avoid traffic.

****

Postscript to this: He began getting stomachaches.  So badly that I took him to the doctor.  There was nothing physical wrong. He began crying he didn't want to go.  So after a fantastic year at camp last year, and a fantastic first month this year, he stayed home for the second month.  I felt a lot of things

• like a failure because her kid can't hack daycamp
• grateful that I don't send him to school because what if he was crying like this every day about school and was so miserable and I thought about the stress of all those parents who cope with this with their children regularly
• glad that I could just pull him out of camp and this whole issue went away
• secretly fearful that the problem is me/my homeschooling/my child/my parenting rather than it being just "not a match"

He wanted to go to camp again this summer.  For just one month.  So I signed him up.  And...

Feeling like a failure

I'm an experienced homeschooler.  I cannot emphasize just how experienced I am.  One of my kids finished college, another is almost done with high school.  (Actually, I'm not super experienced at boy homeschooling, considering my oldest boy isn't bar mitzva yet.)  I have been homeschooling for almost twenty years. 

Homeschoolers often find themselves against going against "common wisdom."  Kids need to know things or do things by a certain age.  Kids need to suffer certain things or they'll never be able to do it as an adult.  Kids need to [learn to sit for hours, tolerate boring learning for hours, be able to do hours of tasks that they hate, etc] so that they'll be able to function as adults.

It takes courage to keep walking a different path when people around you tell you that what you're doing is harmful.  Even if your own mind (and experience!) tell you that your path is a good path, it can be difficult.

I'm always amazed by how fragile my confidence is.  Years of positivity can be undermined.

Last week, one of my kids was at a birthday party and got into fights with the kids there.  I'm still feeling badly about that.  Worrying about his social abilities.  On one hand, I know that this is an issue (he's gotten into conflicts like this before) and I appreciate that homeschooling a) minimizes these situations and b) gives me the chance to walk him through these incidents while I'm on hand.
On the other hand, it is always disquieting to see your child be so miserable socially (tears, misunderstanding his contribution to the dynamic). 

Riding the coat tails of that, the boys started camp this week. 

I looked to see if I ended up discussing what happened with A last summer.  I can't find it at the moment.  I think it needs its own blog post.

But first let's discuss J, going into 4th grade.  His Rebbe called to discuss him after the first day.  Let's remember that J was homesick two years ago and didn't make it through the first week of camp.  He's been psyching himself up for two years now, and is trying it out for a week. 

I had told the boys that the way that we homeschool, the other kids are going to know things that they know, and that they will do that sort of thing closer to their bar mitzvas.

The Rebbe was perplexed that J couldn't do basic things like find the perek and the pasuk.  That during davening, he didn't turn the pages of the siddur.

I explained that homeschooling is a different educational approach and that most of their Torah at this age is Torah She-baal peh.  The Rebbe walked me through all the types of learning and davening and we came to agreements about what that would mean for J.  i.e. he would not call on J, would not ask him to write on the board, would visually keep an eye out in case J wants to participate but would not expect him to do the work.  It was a lovely conversation.

I explained to J that the Rebbe wouldn't call on him and he can turn pages in the siddur when he sees the other boys doing it and stand up and sit down when they do.

But J came home on the 2nd day of camp and said he just wants to go after davening and learning.  I said ok. 

I thought J would be ok for that part of camp, but it's ok if he doesn't want to.

This actually sparked a conversation between me and Ari.  Ari said, "Of course he doesn't want to sit there and learn.  It's boring." And we wondered whether the boys actually would ever be interested in learning Torah if we unschool it. 

I know that the unschoolers I've spoken to say yes.  And in my own heart, I believe that as teenagers, they can learn quickly and efficiently if they want to.  But it's definitely hard to feel comfortable when your almost 4th grader can barely read Hebrew and can't hack summer camp learning.

One thing I am realizing.  Everyone keeps saying that "camp is not school."  In the sense that camp is more relaxed than school.  Which is definitely true.  But when you unschool, camp is definitely longer and more structured than homeschool.  And when you have kids who are not used to doing activities that bore them, they don't have a high tolerance for it.

Another point I'm pondering is that maybe this camp is not best for my family.  They've been wonderful.  They are unbelievably flexible.  They are kind, considerate and thoughtful.  They are close--their playground is the playground across the street from my house, which helps my little ones feel they are in familiar territory.

But maybe a different camp with less learning would be better for them.

On the other hand, maybe being anywhere from 9:30-3:30 would make them unhappy, and I'd be paying more to have the same conflicts and arguments.

Onward to A's camp experience.

unschooling summer 2017

It's been a while since I posted.  I guess unschooling is doing its deep work.  (That's code word for I can't think of anything we've been doing that resembles classic schoolwork.)  Chana introduced Elazar (and therefore Jack) to Animal Crossing, which is an amazing game with a small town.  You build a house, you make money, you speak to the villagers.  Their talk sounds like mumbling and you have to read everything, and you write letters and respond to them, so they are using literacy.  I am still asked to help with spelling numerous times a day and Chana asks me lots of history questions and philosophy and literature and vocabulary and science.  (Oh, yeah.  I'm supposed to look up the causes of and the end of the great depression.  I already sent her an article explaining how scientists discovered that electrons behave differently when they are being observed vs. not being observed.)

Aharon (age 6) is in camp and enjoying parsha and davening.  He wants me to daven with him, but then I don't do it exactly like he does in camp and he screams.  He came home from camp with kriah sheets that are Hebrew letters saying English sentences, which is a cute idea.  I'm torn about it.  On one hand, it helps the children with reading comprehension and is fun to figure out.  On the other hand, I'm a purist and feel like it's better to read Hebrew words in Hebrew and get a sense of the language that way.  (I'm such a homeschooler--I have an opinion on the minutiae of education even when I don't even use either of those approaches with my own children.)  I put the sheets on the fridge with a magnet in case any of the boys wants to play with them.

Chana and I have made no progress in the expensive chemistry set I bought her.  I did go so far as to send her a list of experiments, of which she chose one, and then I read the lab on it.  Since we haven't opened the box, I don't know what the items or, what they look like, how to use them, etc.  If you know me, you know I hate science experiments and I finally had to embrace that part of my homeschooling personality and admit science experiments are not my bag.  And having an expensive chemistry set is like upping my game at admitting I hate doing science experiments.

We are reading Pride & Prejudice together.  She reads it out loud to me in a British accent and her Mr. Collins has me convulsing with laughter.  It's everything I dreamed about High School Literature: actually reading the book, discussing it as we go: character, plot, themes, turns of phrase, foreshadowing, symbolism.  And enjoying the book.

And we take long walks on the beach together.  I'm really focusing on not having any agenda for our time together.  The teenage years are extraordinarily tricky.  I feel like in a lot of ways I spent ages 12-15 putting out fires and worrying excessively about "issues" and wanting her to "understand" things and desperately hoping to impart my wisdom to her.  I'm carefully refraining from that now.  I just want us to enjoy spending time together.  I read Parent/Teen Breakthrough: the Relationship Approach last year and it said that things are really extremely simple: In each interaction, ask myself if my behavior/reaction will improve my relationship with my teenager or deteriorate my relationship with my teenager.

And in all the things I worry about her being able to handle and manage?  If it affects me, bring it up (in a way that will not deteriorate our relationship, of course).  And if it doesn't affect me, it's none of my business.  The entire rest of the book was to explain how to do this, because honestly, some of it sounded like a foreign language to me.  Sof kol sof, it is the most useful and wisest book on raising teenagers I've read so far.

I've mostly given up trying to convince Chana to learn Bio with me.  It's like every unschooling move I've made over the years.  Why do I keep going more and more towards unschooling?  Because Chana told me, over and over, in all sorts of different ways, that she doesn't like to learn that way.  She told me that she doesn't like to sit down and read from a textbook.  She does LOVE when something catches her attention and then she hunts down information about it and videos that show and explain it.  And then talking about it and explaining to to people, and then researching their questions and finding answers, and talking to more people about it.  That is a dynamic and organic and interactive and social way of learning.  And it feels completely different and more exciting and more relevant than learning from a text.

In the same way, she learned to read by wrestling with texts she was interested in reading.  Or learned bits of math because they caught her attention (probably her most favorite homeschooling lesson ever was when her father taught her binary one Friday night ad hoc during family snuggle.  And one of the oddest math things she ever did was teach herself how to divide polynomials at 3am to help some stranger online with math homework).  And how she delves deeply into philosophy and Social Studies because of conversations she has with people. I now have to trust that when different things in Science catch her attention, she will pursue them.

All that was supposed to be a short introduction to what I came here to write today!  I got distracted talking about unschooling high school.

Still summer

It's been a while since I posted.  Chana went away for August and I'm left dangling in the middle of Camus and physics.  Aharon has been in daycamp and is lapping up the Rebbe and his puppet antics and his singing (except for mild anxiety that every time he eats without making a bracha that he is "stealing" from Hashem).  This is the first time in his life that he's been with a peer group for a prolonged period of time.  At home (I might have blogged about my dissatisfaction about this), two years ago, he was the youngest of the band of boys, always last, always miserable.  I would have sent him to preschool but he was a biter, hitter, tantrummer, and I just didn't feel that they would handle all that in the way I would have liked.  Then last year, the girls in the family of our homeschooling neighbors grew up enough to be good playmates for him (he generally plays less aggressively with girls) and he had a pretty happy year.  But this year he got to have his band of boys and it was lovely.  I would send him to kindergarten if not for the $9000 price tag.

I would say none of the boys did much academically.  This past week Elazar enthusiastically decided to write a story.  I helped him with punctuation and spelling.

He asked me yesterday for Scribblenauts Unlimited.  After he attempted to download for free and infected the desktop with no fewer than five viruses, I found out that for twenty dollars there is a desktop version available to purchase.  Sadly the ones in his current price range (he has $13 and change) are only for the WiiU which he has not been able to save up money to get.

I suggested that we spend two weeks learning and I would pay the remainder of the money.  He was enthusiastic about the idea but not thrilled about learning.  As always, I continue to be pulled in two directions.  The unschooling philsophy of patience and trust and the idea that when it is meaningful or useful or interesting, they will learn it.  And the idea that items have to be earned.

I don't think the idea of earning what you want is anti-unschooling; probably the opposite.  But using learning as a way to earn--using the "lo lishma" interferes in the lishma aspect and definitely creates some negative feelings towards learning.    Yet I persist.  Either because of fear that he won't learn otherwise, or the thought that if I just keep presenting it to him some of it might click, or the Rambam and Pirkei Avos's idea (which is not unschooling philosophy) that you tell the children to learn for what they value, until they value Torah.

What to learn with him?  I suggested hilchos Shabbos, which we learned a while back and I have happy memories of.  From his frown, we clearly had abandoned that pursuit a bit too late for him.

"That was boring," he said.

"You are two years older now," I answered.  "Maybe you'll like it."  He disagreed.

I went back to the halacha yomit that I had received in my inbox for a while.  There were fewer halachos than I thought there would be.  But still plenty to learn.  I did the first one with him.  It was under five minutes, during which he stood, picked up something plastic to play with, attached it to his face, and stepped up and down repeatedly on my chair.  But he was also thinking pretty carefully about the halacha we were learning (which is about kavana during Shema) and it was meaningful to him.

I've been thinking for months that I'd like to get back to learning a teeny bit with him every day.  But I hadn't gotten to it.  This was great.  I often feel like I love learning with my children way more than they love learning with me.  It is a joy and a privilege.

And on a final note, I was trying to daven out loud in the mornings this summer since I'm home.  I have also been trying (with mixed success) to remember to say brachos out loud.  I kind of ran out of steam to sit there davening out loud as the boys play on their tablets.  But perhaps when the school year starts I will ask them to turn down sound during tefila and maybe join me in some songs.  We'll see.  I have a different schedule this year so I won't be running out most mornings anymore.

summer plans

It's been about a month since I posted.  Summer plans have gelled: Elazar is in half-day camp (skipping morning learning) at the camp two blocks away from us.  He can cross both streets himself and get himself to and from camp.  Very exciting for both of us.  Aharon tried out a week in the same camp (full day) and opted to go full time for the whole summer.  This is a big treat for me because he is still somewhat screamy and it has been very quiet and peaceful for me at home.  Jack spends most of his day with our homeschooling neighbors.  All of their upper boys are in camp (walking Aharon back and forth) and their girls, Jack's age and one younger, are in Mommy camp with Jack welcome to join and go on trips.  The house is much neater and I'm not spending all day feeding everyone.

I'm spending all day prepping madly for teaching my new class next year (I teach one class a day at a local girls' high school).  This year it is Vayikra AND Bamidbar in one year.  It's an honors class so I figure I'll be teaching about 4x the material that I've taught the last 3 years.  I have to figure out educational goals, content, presentation, assessment, and testing.  I'm putting in about 6 hours a day in prep.

Chana finished chapter 7 in the AP Bio book and we took a break for simple physics.  We are also reading the Rambam's intro to the Talmud.  She is not enjoying the torah shebaal peh so much from my high school sourcebooks (we are in kibud av v'em--maybe that's it ;-P).  Probably because I am not so well prepared  prepared at all and stumble through the sources instead of knowing exactly what to teach and teaching it dynamically.  We are taking a break to power through the end of Shmuel aleph which we've been desultorily reading through for years.  Here is a classic unschooling tale-- I think we've been doing it for about 5 years.  We barely do it, only when she asks, but she has an extremely positive association with it.  I hope we don't ruin that by doing a full perek every day until August.  She wants a smartphone (until now she's been using Ari's old phone which is cumbersome) and I asked her what siyum would she like it to celebrate, and she said Shmuel.  We don't have time for Shmuel aleph and bet before she goes away to camp.  Chana is also reading Camus' the Stranger to me and I'm enjoying it a lot more than I did in high school.

Chana has not been doing her geometry.  I asked her if she was doing it and she told me flat out that if she's being unschooled then she can take a break if she wants.  I personally am fretting a bit regarding the SAT/ACT because I feel like she needs time to learn the test in addition to learning the material.  But the ball is in her court.  Worst case, she can take classes in community college and transfer.  She did fine in her end of the year test.  We did the untimed CAT since she does better with untimed tests.  I didn't realize it was a much longer test.  But she got through it, even though it took weeks, and I finally sent the paperwork out last week (I chose "on or around June 30th" for it to be due).

Jack (6) pulled me over the other day to do some R' Winder workbook and to read 100 Easy Lessons.  He had stopped a while back, saying he could read well enough and he didn't want to do the book anymore.  He opened to lesson 78 where the bookmark is, and zipped through it.  So it seems he was right.  Yesterday I heard him reading the nekudos on a sheet from Aharon's camp that I put on the fridge last week.

Elazar just asked me how to spell papyrus and was quite surprised by the "y."

decluttering homeschool materials I

Summer has been coming along.  Jack (5.5) had a week of camp that he liked. He slowed down on reading a bit; he is over 60 lessons through 100 Easy Lessons and no longer asks to do it every night.  According to unschooling principles, he will do it when he is interested in improving his skills.  Elazar (8) is going to camp in the afternoons, skipping the morning (davening/learning).  Chana and I are enjoying chemistry in the morning and continuing with Sefer Devarim at other times in the day.  She also takes Japanese and violin.  I have a meeting next week with the principal to discuss what classes she'll be taking in the high school I teach at.

Yesterday, I finally got up the stamina to konmari my clothing.  It's a method of decluttering.  I have been fighting the tendency to hoard for over a decade, and I think I really turned a corner when I hired organizers before Aharon was born (about 5 years ago).  I learned things like "things shouldn't fall out when you open the door."  Perhaps that's obvious.  I still haven't quite gotten the hang of "when you look, be able to see at a glance everything that is there."

One of the things I thought was that decluttering is a constant process.  Like being tidy or being neat or being clean (none of which things I am, especially), it needs constant vigilance and work.  I learned a lot from flylady, but she has morning routines and evening routines and daily routines and weekly routines.  It has been a constant struggle to get myself into habits of daily straightening.  Or even to figure out what daily straightening looks like.

A big piece is decluttering.  The fewer objects there are, the easier it is to clean up.  Things are less overwhelming.  I have embraced decluttering (though I'm not very good at it yet) and the principles of minimalism.

I began to understand that decluttering and tidying have the same problem.  You have to always be doing them.  I'd rather sit down and relax or read.  People who are tidy are often doing a bit of tidying.  I'm chilling instead.

But then konmari's book says that if you do her method once and thoroughly, you never go back.  You don't revert.  You don't need to declutter every few months.  You do it all and are so swept away with the joy of
a) being surrounded only by things that you love and spark joy and
b) the extremely easy way to put everything away because there aren't so many things and it is obvious where they go and simple to put them there
that you never go back.

Intriguing.  Can you imagine Pesach cleaning in that type of situation?  Can you imagine living like that?

But implementing it is challenging.  All sorts of psychological issues crop up.  What is emotionally preventing me from removing things in my life that don't spark joy?

I did clothing yesterday.  I cheated and put some of the clothing that I wear to work but don't spark joy in the back of my closet.  If I get through September and October and don't use them, then hopefully I'll be able to let them go.

After I did it, I asked myself questions such as:
Why do I have the boys' summer clothing in two bins, when I also have two dressers for them?  And why do I have a third bin with future winter clothes?  What in the WORLD can possibly be in those two dressers?

(Don't get me wrong.  I adore the simplicity of bins.  Wash the clothes and dump them in the bins.  T-shirts and shorts for Elazar in one bin, and for Jack and Aharon in the other.  No folding.  If they dump it, very easy to cleanup.  So then the question is what are the dressers for?  Storing things I don't use???)

After clothing comes books in the konmari method.  And this gets me back to one of my conflicts about homeschooling and decluttering.

But it's time to wake up Chana and do chemistry.  I'll write part II later.

summer plans and navi

chumash is chugging along.  chana is planning to go to daycamp this summer.  she'd like to go to sleepaway camp, but it's expensive.  perhaps if she ends up being homeschooled for high school, we'll send her to sleepaway camp.  i know a lot of homeschoolers (myself included ;) get a little itchy about the socialization question.  but i can tell you, it's not the ability to socialize that is a problem.  and it's not the opportunity to socialize.  what does become problematic is 1. close intimate friends and 2. a large social group. 

as 6th grade approaches, there are a lot of social/physical/emotional changes going on for girls (and presumably for boys, but i have no idea yet).  girls who were friends for years switch allegiances and interests. 

i'm hoping chana will meet some local girls this summer.  she's old enough to walk to their houses by herself on shabbos.  it will be luck of the draw if she clicks with any girls and becomes close friends with them.  both she and sarah went to local daycamp at various points.  they had absolutely no trouble integrating, socializing, and making friends.  but they never clicked with anyone enough to keep the relationship going.

anyway, in past summers when chana chose not to go to camp, we kept our schedule the same as during the rest of the year, including chumash.  but she will probably not have enough time to devote to chumash.  though i would not like to drop it completely.  i have to figure out how to do chumash over the summer.

but a project i would really like to pick up is navi.  i really think chana would enjoy it.  however, i tried getting the little midrash says and it was both too difficult and too boring for her.  she didn't enjoy reading it.  i think she needs it to be more personalized.  i need to tell the story on exactly her level, and choose which stories to tell. 

this is going to take some preparation.  you may or may not know that i'm not a "prep" type homeschooler.  i sit down and whatever happens, happens.  but i think regarding navi, like the pesach seder, a little thought about

- where my child is at
- what approach would be enjoyable
- what specifically i'm going to teach and how

will go a long way.  i particularly would like to attempt an "unschooling" approach here, as a prototype for the future with the boys.  i don't have to worry about skills, because chana is getting skills via chumash.  i just want to make this really enjoyable.  i want her to love it.  i wonder if i'll be able to do that.  i'm imagining that i've been hired to teach a course.  that the child will remember and love for the rest of her life.