whew rashi was tough tonight. we did it w/ nekudos and chana did ok with it, but it was nearing 9pm and i'm wrung out by then. and every time she got distracted i got annoyed. and she told me that she feels i'm being too hard on her and it's coz i'm stressed. (and if i can get all therapy on you, the reader, this resonated w/ something ari told me this week about how i was riding everyone too hard). i think the whole rashi was about 20 min, but at the end of it i felt it created distance between me and chana rather than connection. i offered to read to her afterwards but she said she'd rather go to bed. i guess i'll give her an hour and then go try to reconnect.
i just can't stand working in the evenings. and it's chana's ideal time. aharon is having cry time, jack is still awake, and i am done. i want to be done but i have a few hrs left to the day. it's not the time to be doing chumash or rashi.
perhaps i should learn from this that the skills are not worth the negative interaction. or i can work on being more pleasant.
on the up side, these not so good days make me realize how much my constant evaluation of how it is going really does keep chumash pleasant overall. especially considering the very hard skill work involved.
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