btw, why homeschoolers don't need to be tested!

it's been almost a week where chana had no chumash. so getting back into it has been a stretching exercise for her. elazar had playgroup at 9:30. chana does not like starting before 10. or before 10:30 for that matter. in fact, as i've mentioned, her ideal schedule is actually after 8pm. so i warned her before i left that we'd be doing it when i got back.

before we even started, she was whining. i told her to go sit down, w/o tv, and to come back when she's ready to not whine. she's starting with a negative attitude about how hard it will be.

i'm of two minds regarding this attitude. is it that i'm pushing her too hard, that i myself am often too tense, that it really is too much for her?

or is it that the work is tough. it requires effort and self-discipline. and chana prefers the easy road of not working those muscles?

today it seemed to me that it was the latter. i do rely heavily on intuition and self-reflection to determine the answer to issues like this.

i told her we were reviewing rishon, which still has quite a few words she needs to review, and i wanted to finish sheni. both pretty short. sheni had 5 new pesukim. with only 1 new word, and in the first pasuk of the 5.

chana whined and screamed a lot today. she kept saying she doesn't know it, and i would say she does. she accused me: you don't know what i know and what i don't know!
and i said that i do know what you know and what you don't know. i sit next to you every day and i know the words you know and the words you have trouble with and the words you will remember if you think about them and the words you did and the words we haven't done yet. (btw, why homeschoolers don't need to be tested!)

she later said, i thought you said we would stop if i screamed (and boy was she screaming).
and i answered, if i thought you were screaming from frustration because it is too hard for you, then i would stop. but this screaming is because you don't want to do it, not because it is too much for you. (i sensed that to be so. it's a different kind of edge when she's overwhelmed).
at this point, she lay on the floor and started yelling that her head hurt. she sometimes does get a headache from it being too hard. but today i just felt that it was a matter of not wanting to do it. so i pushed forward.

we finished sheni. we have yet to do rashi.

today was not a fun day, but we got it done. and i think i was right to push through it.