we came to a resolution. when chana's tone starts to bother me, i will say, "your yelling is bothering me. scream 5 more times and then stop."
this was a process to get to. first i said, can i say, please stop, the yelling is bothering me.
chana did not feel 1. capable of doing this nor 2. desirous of not yelling.
so i said how about i say, "yell 3 more times."
we agreed to 5.
we are not sure how this will work. we will surely have opportunities to try it out. stay tuned.