Thursday, February 28, 2013

how i feel some days

This has nothing to do with Chumash but does have to do with homeschooling.  Well, not even really homeschooling.  Just being home with the kids all day.  ("How do you do it?  Being home with your kids all day?")  Usually I love it.  Usually, it's like a nice relaxing long weekend, only all week long.  (With me as the janitor.)  Usually, we play and laugh and enjoy.

But some days....

I said to Ari, I can't stand my employers.  Nothing makes them happy.  They are irrational, scream at me frequently, nothing I can do satisfies them, and their demands are neverending, impossible to keep up with.. and even the things I do manage to do, I don't do how they want and they are not nice about how they tell me so.  Sometimes it even degenerates into them physically abusing me, pulling on me or trying to hit me while they are screaming at me.  And the whole time, there is more to be done and more that they are demanding.  Also, I have more than one employer that i'm responsible to, and their demands and needs overlap and are often more than one urgent at the same time.  I'm trying to meet one employer's needs and the other one or more begin shouting about how their demands are urgent.  It's a working environment with constant demands and screaming and little ability to accomplish the demands of the job.  No lunch break or coffee break.
I don't want a different job, but sometimes I would like a little vacation!  And remember, a "family trip" is NOT a vacation! :)

1 comment:

  1. Ooh, I feel for you, but I have a funny insight today.
    My MIL took three older ones for a sleepover yesterday, which just left me with a newborn. I nursed him, tucked him in, made dinner, and then sat down. The house was getting dark and quiet. Eerily quiet. Too quiet. I was waiting for something: for Akiva to come home, for the baby to wake up, for a phone call. Nothing.
    Akiva came home, we had a nice quiet dinner, the baby did wake up, nursed, bathed and went back to sleep. Akiva had some computer work to do. The dinner was all cleaned up and the house went super quiet again.
    I am an introvert. I need quiet time. I need me time. I like to read and be left alone. I often joke how once the kids grow up and Akiva retires, we will miss these days. I usually don't believe it myself. Yesterday, I had a very real experience of what it might be like and I did not enjoy it! I was shocked. I wanted my kids back, the ones who drum when people sleep, who have nightmares and need to be taken to the bathroom in the middle of the night, who fight with each other and treat me like their servant. Anything to make this eerie silence of an emptying house.

    I often dream of a retreat, "just me" time. I often sulk how I never get it. Are you going to the conference by yourself? Could you carve out some time that weekend which would be a getaway?