More Unschooling Magic

Aharon continues to drag the reader into my room every night at 10:24 or so, with just enough time before 10:30 to read.  Last night he read two pages.  His reading is not as fluent as a 2nd grader in "regular" school, but he's much faster than his older brothers.  The other day, while I was davening out loud, he came to look over my shoulder.  I slowed down and let him read the very last syllable, which he did.  He seems interested in getting his reading level to the point of being able to daven.

(Jack has stopped asking for Chumash, and Elazar and I are doing trup very spottily.)

Jack comes up for snuggle most nights in the early 10s, to get a snuggle before my 10:30 cutoff time.  Last night, I was hanging out in bed, talking to Chen, when he came in.  He asked what division was.

I explained it like I had explained it to Elazar about cookies and the amount of people who want cookies and to make it fair.  So we started with 15 and I said there are 3 people.  I gave him one of my hands so he'd have 15 fingers and could visualize it.

He spent a long time thinking.  A really long time thinking.  One might even say a ridiculously long time thinking. 

And he wasn't using my hand, and dividing into the obvious 3 equal parts.

What was he doing?

Eventually, he said "5."  That was right, and he was thrilled, and he asked for another.

Chen was extremely curious about how he had done it.  So we asked Jack to do the next one out loud, if he could.  To talk as he was doing it and to say what he was thinking. 

He was guessing what it might be, then counting by that number, to see if he ended up with the right answer.  So 24 divided by 6.  He guessed 4.  Then he counted.  4, 8, 12, 16, 20, 24.  That was 6 jumps of 4, ending with the right number.  Had he started with 3 it would have been: 3, 6, 9, 12, 15, 18.  Wrong.  We did a few more problems until Aharon came in to read.

A few things really struck me about this. 

• He LOVED it.  He got so much enjoyment from thinking about this and figuring it out.  It was something he was wondering, he came to me and asked me about it, and was rewarded with the pure joy of figuring it out, discovering it, thinking about it. 
  
• He took a really long time to think about it at every step.  He thought about what it means to divide.  He thought about how it might work.  He wrestled with how it works, and tried different things, and figured out a method of calculating it.
  In school, you don't have time to do that.  Firstly, you don't have time to wonder.  You are told what you are learning and that's that.  Secondly, you are told how to do it.  You aren't given the space and time to sit and really think things through.  You simply don't have the time to sit around thinking about how division might work.  You don't have time to play with it.
  
• Division is going to be really meaningful to him.  He will understand it on a deep, gut level.  It will be part of him.

Oh, and last night Aharon forgot the ך and I told him to practice the sofises, since he stumbles over them.  I know he works on them in his mind at random times during the day, because last week he came to me, eyes shining, and told me that he mastered nun sofis (ן).

I had stuck an aleph beis printout onto the fridge haphazardly a couple of years ago, because I felt that having it in sight might incline them to look at it, and definitely showed the kids that Hebrew reading is a value of ours.  Although the kids use the multiplication chart I have on the fridge frequently, I don't see the aleph beis chart getting a lot of use.

But apparently Aharon has been using it.  This morning he came over to me, and with his eyes glued to the chart, told me that he's working on the ך and the ף.

Day 1 of a 6 month program

Chen started Fast ForWord today.  It's a neuroplasticity program that is supposed to help auditory processing, dyslexia, and working memory.  (Chen tested normally in all 3 categories but functions as if she has problems with working memory.)  Today's work was both boring and somewhat difficult.  "Grueling."  We'll see how it proceeds.

Decision

I decided to do it.  Chen is understandably trepidacious (it is a word) about doing anything for 1.5 hours a day.  Kal V'chomer something that is reportedly "grueling."  But she agreed to try it, mainly because of the seductive possibility that she'll be able to read without rereading 4-7 times, and the possibility that she won't be mentally exhausted from reading, and that maybe she might actually be able to go to college full time.

They agreed that I don't have to commit to the full six months, since they themselves are not sure she is a candidate.  The program manager sounded pretty excited and seems to think she is a good candidate, and is extremely interested to see if the program will help.

So here we go. 

I was thinking how homeschooling (and unschooling especially) tells parents to pay close attention to kids' cues and to adjust the learning to the child.  All these years that Chen has been refusing to read have not been stubbornness, was not a personality thing.  It's neurological. 

Chen wants to start in a couple of days.  Today, when the program manager called to speak to us, Chen was at Dance.  I arranged for her to call back later.  When Chen came home and I told her, Chen was upset because she wanted to take her medication immediately and have two solid hours to work on trigonometry. 

Can you believe that?  My unschooled child, who dropped math in 2009 or so and later told me not to get involved in high school math--she's handling it herself.  Everyone always thinks: If I unschool, they'll just play video games all day.  Even kids themselves think: If I unschool, I would watch youtube and play video games all day.

And yet that is not the case.  Chen, age 17, is raring to go and is so jealously guarding her math time that she was reluctant to interrupt it with a five minute conversation.  (Instead of waiting for the call, she called the program manager right then, and was pleased with the conversation.)

I never cease to be astonished at the magic that is unschooling.

To Do or Not to Do, That is the Question

In May, Chen (grade 12) got a psychoeducational evaluation.  She was diagnosed with severe ADHD.  She has some type of difficulty processing, but she can read letters and words easily.  It is only when they combine to sentences and paragraphs that she has trouble processing what she is reading.

She began medication, which helps tremendously on focus (she went from being able to focus for 15 minutes to being able to focus for 1.5 hours).  However, much to her disappointment, it did not help with her processing difficulties.  She still has to read things many times in order to understand.

I went back and forth with the evaluator, and she explained that this type of processing is a subcategory of ADHD.  It's not a separate processing disorder.  She said they are thinking of making it its own DSM disorder, but thus far have not done so.

In the meantime, last year, I had read about a woman who had designed a whole bunch of brain exercises involving a 16 hour clock and had trained her brain with neuroplasticity to be able to do things where before she had a learning disability.  I recalled this and wondered if Chen's brain could be retrained.  I looked in vain for that article or talk, but was unable to find it.

By coincidence, somebody posted a list of nonfiction books, and one of them was Brain That Changes Itself.  In it was the story of this woman!  It also discussed different neuroplasticity programs.  One is in Canada and another in Australia.  Then in another chapter, it discussed a program called Fast ForWord.  It is very expensive--over $2000.  It is considered a grueling program.  It claims to do brain exercises that will improve processing.  It is a 6 month program for 50-90 minutes a day.

After looking more closely, the main issues they help with are Auditory Processing Disorder, Dyslexia, Autism, and ADHD.  Chen only has ADHD.  But it may be that her particular issues are not what this program addresses.  Chen's Working Memory is average on her neuropsych eval.  This program strengthens Working Memory and auditory processing.  So will this program help?  If her Working Memory was abnormally low, then this program would certainly be suited.  But in this case...Her processing disorder is not a standard processing disorder.

She did the assessment and I spoke to them, and they said that if she hadn't been tested and found that her Working Memory is decent, they would have said that this program will certainly help.  However, knowing from testing that her processing issues are not exactly what this program does, they can't say it will be helpful.  So it is kind of a risk.

On the other hand, the thought that she might be able to read without re-reading and re-reading and growing mentally exhausted is just a wondrous thought.  Is it worth the gamble?

Here are some testimonials.

I am inclined to invest the money in the hope that she could train her brain to process reading more easily.  At the same time, I wonder if I am just one of those desperate people who will pay for hope and ultimately be paying for something that doesn't work.

If anyone has any experience or feedback for me, please reach out to help me make this decision!

V'dibarta Bam

Aharon asked me this morning if Hashem speaks to people using words because He knows that humans invented speech and so is that why He communicates that way?

I wasn't exactly sure what he was getting at.  I realized that a few weeks ago he asked me about who invented language, how language got started.  I gave him a rather paltry summary of linguistics (meaning I told him there is a field of study where people explore these questions), and explained that speech is something that humans can do naturally, but also learn to do.  And how we think speech evolved.

Last week, he asked me how Hashem speaks with no mouth--does He make a mouth?  And clarified (to the extent a 7yo can grasp) non-physicality.  And distinguished between non-physicality vs. non-existence.

At the time, when I was answering those questions, I really had no idea where he was going with this.  It turns out that he's been pondering a lot of philosophical issues. 

When he turned to me this morning, he hit pause on his video game or youtube video to ask me that question. 

One of the things my kids have always said they love about homeschooling is the time to think about things.  A kid his age may appear to be spending a lot of time playing video games or watching youtube videos, but he's also daydreaming and pondering Divine Incorporeality and what exactly prophecy means and how it works.  How can Hashem, who has no body, "touch" or come in contact with the physical world?

I said Hashem doesn't just have to use words; He can also use dreams and images.

These conversations range over the course of weeks and months.  I had no idea when my second grader was asking about language, that he was thinking about Hashem.

My, How Things Have Changed

Things are different now than they were fifteen years ago.  I signed my kids up to go to an Archaeological Dig.  Both the girls attended this program back in the day and thought it was fabulous and so much fun.  It's a great concept: A guy who has actual artifacts from real archaeological sites comes and digs up a backyard, buries his artifacts, and the kids dig them up and learn about that time period.  It's an incredibly hands-on way to learn history.  It was one of the homeschool highlights that my girls enjoyed when they were in the elementary grades, and when I saw it listed I immediately signed up the boys who were the right age for it.

Well, a kid who can't sit through five minutes of talking and another kid who is uncomfortable in new places without his mom are not exactly the best candidates for a week-long drop off program.  I remembered it being pretty hands-on.  But apparently any bit of talking doesn't work for some kids. 

11yo came home furious after the first day that it was boring.  And also, why was it all about avoda zara?  (They were studying Ancient Greece.)

I had to pack them lunch every day.  Ari was kind enough to drive them (and ended up being pretty unhappy about it), and after the first day, they started complaining that they didn't want to do it.  E was pretty much crying today that he didn't want to go.  (Just like real school!)  That it uses up all the time in his day, and it's boring.

Every day they spoke a lot about different things they learned.  Elazar unearthed an entire horse jaw.  He said it was really big.  He asked me about Plato.  I think they learned a ton and will be thinking about a lot of things. 

Overall, though, I'd say יצא שכרו בהפסדו, that the loss cancels the gain.  Elazar was pretty miserable.  And even Jack wasn't overly enthused.

It's kind of shocking that with an unschooling mindset, classes that used to seem amazingly educational and fun in the beginning of my homeschool years, when I was in a more "schoolish" mindset, are really not very enjoyable to my hardcore unschoolers, who are used to not having any sort of learning shoved down their throat whatsoever, and drop any bit of "education" when it is boring or not appealing to them.  Our standards have shifted.

Full Steam Ahead

Aharon, age 7, has been asking to read the aleph bina every night. He's making good progress. I think his motives are to catch up to or be ahead of his older brothers, who only read at avos u'banim. Elazar still dislikes reading at age 11. Moral of the story: unschooling seems to work if you are a little brother in competition. Can't speak about the rest at this time.