I need ideas

So math is going okay as far as I know.  I think Chana is doing teaching textbooks by herself.  In true homeschool style, a program isn't as efficient as me being able to go at her speed.  But on the pro side, I'm not a great math teacher so at least this is clear and nice and understandable.

Bio is really complex and is becoming less fun.  I'm wondering if it might be worthwhile to take a step back from AP and do it on a slightly less intricate level.  OTOH, maybe if we just make it through this chapter in chemistry, the next section will be more appealing.  I'm not sure if it's the topic or if it's the level of detail.  Time will tell.

On the Torah end, studying Eisav went well and was pleasant.  I was trying to figure out what to do next.  Chana agreed to the spies but the reality wasn't so enjoyable for her.  I'm trying to figure out what would be really gripping.  What is the kind of Torah that will grab her by the heart and make her fall in love with Torah?

I think I need a little more preparation.  I was thinking the story of the spies, the Cheyt haegel (which I thought would be very interesting but Chana absolutely vetoed), Korach's rebellion, Perek 14 in Shmuel I which has always fascinated me.  I thought of going through Nechama Leibowitz (I think I would need to prepare beforehand).  Maybe Yonah.

I think I would like to take a little break from skills (her skills are coming along pretty nicely) and focus on something that will really interest her.

day 3 of not nagging

It's 6:45 and I haven't brought up schoolwork with Chana.  She was out today so she's probably recuperating (#introvert) so she might not think about schoolwork until I'm in the middle of bedtime with the littles.  It's Wednesday night when we usually read Dracula together, so we'll probably do that at about 9:30.

Either Chana and I will get into a better dynamic where she takes charge of time management and arranging when we will work together.  Or I will crack and probably speak to her in an irrational and ineffective manner.  I'm aiming for when I do crack, to speak calmly and just ask her to pick a time to work with me that day.

I am trying to avoid me being the timekeeper because a) it's no fun and then I'm the annoying meanie who interferes in her life and b) she's not doing things for her own sake.

The reason I'm in conflict about that and still dragging my feet on 100% unschooling is because deep down, I worry that she will not hit the books as hard if she doesn't do it regularly and frequently.  But as I write this, I wonder why I worry.  Do we really need to do Bio so frequently?  If she likes it and it is interesting, she will want to learn it.  Why hassle her?

Yes, I worry about the Torah piece.  But our recent learning has been very pleasant together.

moment of panic

I just suddenly got hit with a moment of panic that my son is 8 years old and he barely reads Hebrew.  I felt it deep in my belly--fear that he won't leyn from the Torah at his bar mitzva, he won't be able to learn, he will grow up and not be able to get a job.

I'm not going to start trying to teach him.  I'm not going to do some work with him to reassure myself that he's on the right path.  I'm not going to reevaluate my homeschooling or my educational principles.

I think unschooling is the best thing for him.  I'm mostly positive that things will be just fine.  If not great.

Just wanted to let y'all know that even unschoolers who have been homeschooling for over 1.5 decades are sometimes subject to moments of blind panic.

Homeschooling is serious stuff.  It's no joke being in charge of your child's education.  It can be scary.