So I started off having a conversation. With teens, it's always best to hear what they are thinking and get their input.
There were tears and screaming. Not mine, this time, I'm happy to report. Here are the highlights:
-It won't be fun, it can't be fun, it will never be fun.
-She already knows the story. If I want it to be fun, go back in time 6 years when she didn't know the story and was excited to learn it. Now she knows it.
-She does not want to read the story again.
-She doesn't want to learn it inside; it's Daddy's responsibility to tell it to her.
-(And she already knows it)
So I conclude that having her read it inside and seeing what new insights emerge is NOT going to work this year.
I'm going to need a different approach where somehow it is interesting.
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Have you asked her what she wants to do during the seder? Planning is great, but spontaneity of questioning is also valuable. This might also be a case where unschooling is possible, allowing her to engage in whichever way she chooses.
ReplyDeleteAlso, it sounds like she hasn't yet seen the possibility for new insight into a familiar story.
Have you asked her why she thinks that you and Ari go back and study it every year if you already know the story, or why the great chachamim would go back and study it. Maybe if she likes that question she could (unconciously) apply whatever answer she comes up with to herself.
Dr. Emily Amie Witty suggests:
ReplyDeletehmmm...what about the idea of fairness in punishments. were the makkos fair...would that appeal to her teenage mind?
I asked Chana what she plans to do during the seder. She said Daddy will tell the story and she doesn't have to do anything. She doesn't want to go through the material herself because she JUST did it. (Which we didn't; we are in Acharei Mos now. But i guess she still remembers it.)
ReplyDeleteI asked her why she thinks we learn things over and over and she rolled her eyes at me and said she JUST did it.