Elazar is 7, in 2nd grade. He recently picked up the aleph bina again and asked me to review the nekudos. He remembered most of them. I started the page with the kamatz with each letter of the aleph beis with a kamatz underneath it. He immediately grasped the concept of blending and zipped through the page. He forgot about 4 of the letters, which I told him. Over the next couple of days, he did the patach and the tzeirei very easily. He still needed reminders of the kaf/chaf and the pey today.
Elazar wants a laptop for a siyum present and asked what can he learn in order to get it. He asked if he can learn to read. I said I'll teach you to read, but a siyum is for limud Torah.
Regarding his English reading, he plays some board game and has been reading some of the cards.
Jack will be 5 next month. He's been asking to write recently. He's been writing his name and other things. He mainly writes at night during bedtime, but he's recently started writing during the day a bit. Ari took Jack and Elazar to Avos U'Banim learning on Motzei Shabbos and said Jack knew the aleph beis better than Elazar. Jack still needs to learn the sofises before his siyum. The siyum will be a selection of candy from Oh Nuts to share with the neighbors (also homeschoolers).
Aharon is 3. The book by his bed is Aleph to Tav by Yaffa Ganz. I bought it many years ago when Sarah was young. We were just reading it every night when I realized that Aharon knew the aleph, so I tried teaching him the next letter. He is now up to zayin.
This is unschooling and I only do "schoolwork" with them when they ask. Months and months can go by with no reading or writing. Elazar is on a reading streak now, but I can't even remember the last time he was interested. (Actually, I can probably check this blog. In July he did some English writing and in June he did a bit of English reading. The last time he did Hebrew reading was May, which was 6 months ago. And the time before that was... hey, last November. About a year ago.) So he learned the nekudos for about an hour almost a year ago. Then 6 months ago he reviewed. Then last week he became interested again. And now he can read Hebrew (though at this point we've done only 3 of the nekudos officially). So far he is still doing one letter + vowel sound. I'm going to go through the book in order unless he requests otherwise (let's say, he might bring me a bentcher or a Chumash and ask me to help him read from there). When I spoke to unschooling boys who were grown up about their limudei kodesh experiences, they assured me that when the time came to get ready for their bar mitzvas, they were interested in learning to read and to leyn and to daven. In our family, I guess it isn't really left completely alone, insofar as we have lots of aleph beis games and puzzles and some posters up around the house. And whenever the kids ask to go to the candy store I always say, "Sure! As soon as you learn your aleph beis we will have a siyum from there." (#~AlfieKohn)
Showing posts with label alfie kohn. Show all posts
Showing posts with label alfie kohn. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
Thursday, March 14, 2013
mitoch she'lo lishma ba lishma
Sarah has been working on her Chumash paper for school. She was so involved in it yesterday, that I had to pull her away from it to go to parkour with me, and she spoke animatedly about it for most of the ride. She was so excited about it, and full of passion for her subject.
I was thinking about that a lot today. If she hadn't been "forced" to write that paper by the school, if she hadn't been pushed into it, she would not have done it of her own free will and motivation. She would not have decided to thoroughly research and investigate an area of Chumash, slog through a bunch of mefarshim, ask questions, come up with an approach, systematically outline it and write it out and achieve that much clarity.
Will unschooled children never do that? Is the only way to get a child to do that by assigning it? Am I missing out on all sorts of possibilities by taking an approach that the children only do what interests them? Don't children who are obligated to do things they wouldn't choose to do end up being exposed to a variety of different areas, and ultimately can possibly choose satisfying paths that they never would have chosen if not obligated to try it? Am I limiting my children?
This led me to the concept of "mitoch she'lo lishma, ba lishma," which I think makes the question even stronger. This is a principle in Judaism that means we don't always start out doing things for their own sake or for idealistic reasons. We often embark on something for other motivations, for ego, for reward, for approval, for something other than for its own sake. But in the course of doing it, we realize that it has its own value and come to appreciate it.
So it would seem that inherent in the understand of Judaism, and especially learning Torah, we start off doing it not for its own sake, but in the course of being immersed in it, come to love and appreciate it.
(This is anti Alfie Kohn who says that giving rewards tends to make people less appreciative of the inherent value of an activity. And this is in line with the Rambam, who says to give children candy, money, and honor for learning Torah, so that they'll be immersed in it and hopefully come to appreciate its true worth.)
So wouldn't this suggest that I get my children involved in Torah, even if they wouldn't be naturally drawn to it?
I have some thoughts. But I'm going to leave this as a question and answer it in a different post.
I was thinking about that a lot today. If she hadn't been "forced" to write that paper by the school, if she hadn't been pushed into it, she would not have done it of her own free will and motivation. She would not have decided to thoroughly research and investigate an area of Chumash, slog through a bunch of mefarshim, ask questions, come up with an approach, systematically outline it and write it out and achieve that much clarity.
Will unschooled children never do that? Is the only way to get a child to do that by assigning it? Am I missing out on all sorts of possibilities by taking an approach that the children only do what interests them? Don't children who are obligated to do things they wouldn't choose to do end up being exposed to a variety of different areas, and ultimately can possibly choose satisfying paths that they never would have chosen if not obligated to try it? Am I limiting my children?
This led me to the concept of "mitoch she'lo lishma, ba lishma," which I think makes the question even stronger. This is a principle in Judaism that means we don't always start out doing things for their own sake or for idealistic reasons. We often embark on something for other motivations, for ego, for reward, for approval, for something other than for its own sake. But in the course of doing it, we realize that it has its own value and come to appreciate it.
So it would seem that inherent in the understand of Judaism, and especially learning Torah, we start off doing it not for its own sake, but in the course of being immersed in it, come to love and appreciate it.
(This is anti Alfie Kohn who says that giving rewards tends to make people less appreciative of the inherent value of an activity. And this is in line with the Rambam, who says to give children candy, money, and honor for learning Torah, so that they'll be immersed in it and hopefully come to appreciate its true worth.)
So wouldn't this suggest that I get my children involved in Torah, even if they wouldn't be naturally drawn to it?
I have some thoughts. But I'm going to leave this as a question and answer it in a different post.
Friday, September 7, 2012
converting nagging worries into plans and efforts
it's the beginning of the school year. that shouldn't make a difference, since we don't really do anything different during the summer. but this year i started teaching a class in an outside school, so i'm gone every morning til 10am. this doesn't really make a huge difference in our homeschool because we don't really do anything before 10am anyway, except that it takes me a while to reconnect with the little ones because they are expecting me around and i'm not (like jack doesn't like waking up and me not being there). and aharon, who is a year old, is used to being with me every minute of the day.
but it has been feeling like there aren't enough hours in the day to do everything. in the beginning days of homeschooling, i used to be nervous, so i never wanted to skip "learning." but now, 1) when it comes down to it, i'm quicker to choose to prioritize our relationship and their long-term emotional well-being so i end up choosing to spend relaxed, enjoyable time with them instead of attempting to force them to work in a time-crunched situation which is going to blow up in our faces, 2) even if i skip a lot of learning times, over the course of years, there still ends up being a lot of time and 3) since we became more unschool-y, the kids are much more relaxed about skill work and flexible and inclined to work at odd hours.
case in point. i told you that i pulled out sfasenu (or sfatenu, as we used to call it in elementary school, before i learned about the ashkenazic "ת" and plunged myself into the conflict of spoken vs religious hebrew) a few days ago. i've been telling chana i'd like to start it. she kept saying later and tomorrow. yesterday we were planning to do it but there was trapeze from 4-8 (it was only 1.5 hrs but i had to pick sarah up from school, dinner, rush out, drive 45 min there and back) soI wasn't up for it we didn't get to it. this morning, chana woke up at 7:30am by accident (thank you, sarah's alarm) and came down. i was getting ready to leave for school, but i remembered we didn't do it yesterday. so we sat down and she did the first story right there. using the three-years-ahead-rule, i gave her the 3rd grade sfasenu. she zipped through the story, understanding it, being able to figure out the couple of words or phrases that were new, and i asked her reading comp questions and asked her to answer me in hebrew, using the story. so that went swimmingly. i am (anti alfie kohn) using a bribe to make it more palatable. i told her to pick the bribe, but she wants a dog, so that's not happening. i'm hoping that she'll pick it up more often than not, and that she'll increase her ivrit ability, and that it will be pretty painless. i'm not sure how this fits into unschooling philosophy (but i'm not about to get overly bogged down by a philosophy of homeschooling, unless you want to call it pragmatism, ie what is working for us). i discussed with her that i think her ivrit needs some beefing up. i acquired something towards that end. i introduced her to it. we'll see what happens next.
and one night this week, everything was pretty quiet, and i said, "hey, want to learn about dovid hamelech?" and she said sure. so we sat down and i gave her some background about moshe, then going into israel, then shoftim, and we reviewed that shmuel was chana's son, which reminded me that she really is the right age to go through some of the rosh hashana machzor and the torah reading and the haftoras, and then talked a bit about shaul and how the kingship was taken away and how he began to be jealous of dovid. as i've mentioned before, chana always learns best when she's supposed to be upstairs in bed. so i'll keep an eye out for those opportunities for navi. i had the navi open for myself, but did it via storytelling (i did show her one thing in it, but offhand i can't remember what it was).
also, i've mentioned this before, that i read, many years ago, that one should always stop teaching 5 minutes before the student is finished. i made this mistake with chana during navi, and kept going even when she was getting distracted. i should have stopped right then, but it had been going so well i couldn't accept the information she was giving me. i asked if she wanted to keep going, and she said yes. i should not have asked her; i should have just stopped. she zoned out and was earnestly studying the back of a box of cereal. we ended on a bit of a fractious note instead of me being friendly and saying, we'll stop here, and having her beg for more.
i made that same mistake with my class on the first day of school. we had 2 minutes left to class, and i should have dismissed them early instead of saying who-knows-what and watching their eyes glaze over.
but overall, my angst last week about things i'd like to pick up the slack on led to me choosing certain activities, then keeping them in my pocket until relaxed opportunities came up.
regarding navi, if you recall, i had an idea of doing unschooling navi towards the end of last year. it's now about 4 or 5 months later and we've done navi twice. you might think that this is not working out. but i would disagree. we have years for this. every time we do it and it's pleasant, it builds on itself. over the years, it will snowball, i think. unschooling takes patience, my friends. i myself am extremely excited to share dovid hamelech's stories. i just have to wait for the best moments.
but it has been feeling like there aren't enough hours in the day to do everything. in the beginning days of homeschooling, i used to be nervous, so i never wanted to skip "learning." but now, 1) when it comes down to it, i'm quicker to choose to prioritize our relationship and their long-term emotional well-being so i end up choosing to spend relaxed, enjoyable time with them instead of attempting to force them to work in a time-crunched situation which is going to blow up in our faces, 2) even if i skip a lot of learning times, over the course of years, there still ends up being a lot of time and 3) since we became more unschool-y, the kids are much more relaxed about skill work and flexible and inclined to work at odd hours.
case in point. i told you that i pulled out sfasenu (or sfatenu, as we used to call it in elementary school, before i learned about the ashkenazic "ת" and plunged myself into the conflict of spoken vs religious hebrew) a few days ago. i've been telling chana i'd like to start it. she kept saying later and tomorrow. yesterday we were planning to do it but there was trapeze from 4-8 (it was only 1.5 hrs but i had to pick sarah up from school, dinner, rush out, drive 45 min there and back) so
and one night this week, everything was pretty quiet, and i said, "hey, want to learn about dovid hamelech?" and she said sure. so we sat down and i gave her some background about moshe, then going into israel, then shoftim, and we reviewed that shmuel was chana's son, which reminded me that she really is the right age to go through some of the rosh hashana machzor and the torah reading and the haftoras, and then talked a bit about shaul and how the kingship was taken away and how he began to be jealous of dovid. as i've mentioned before, chana always learns best when she's supposed to be upstairs in bed. so i'll keep an eye out for those opportunities for navi. i had the navi open for myself, but did it via storytelling (i did show her one thing in it, but offhand i can't remember what it was).
also, i've mentioned this before, that i read, many years ago, that one should always stop teaching 5 minutes before the student is finished. i made this mistake with chana during navi, and kept going even when she was getting distracted. i should have stopped right then, but it had been going so well i couldn't accept the information she was giving me. i asked if she wanted to keep going, and she said yes. i should not have asked her; i should have just stopped. she zoned out and was earnestly studying the back of a box of cereal. we ended on a bit of a fractious note instead of me being friendly and saying, we'll stop here, and having her beg for more.
i made that same mistake with my class on the first day of school. we had 2 minutes left to class, and i should have dismissed them early instead of saying who-knows-what and watching their eyes glaze over.
but overall, my angst last week about things i'd like to pick up the slack on led to me choosing certain activities, then keeping them in my pocket until relaxed opportunities came up.
regarding navi, if you recall, i had an idea of doing unschooling navi towards the end of last year. it's now about 4 or 5 months later and we've done navi twice. you might think that this is not working out. but i would disagree. we have years for this. every time we do it and it's pleasant, it builds on itself. over the years, it will snowball, i think. unschooling takes patience, my friends. i myself am extremely excited to share dovid hamelech's stories. i just have to wait for the best moments.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Shmos!
During chazara, it was our practice that chana not use her new computer until she did chumash. (This did not include rashi, since she often took an hour or more break between chumash chazara and rashi chazara.) This means, basically, that every morning during chazara, Chana bounded down the stairs and pushed me to do chumash. I was tempted to make this the rule every morning, except that I, too, have grown used to having that hour after "morning rush" when jack and aharon wake up and need to be fed to just chill. Also, although I suggested to Chana that maybe we would make it a practice not to go on computer until we did chumash, I just felt that isn't in the unschool spirit. However, two days ago she did say that she liked doing chumash first thing, and maybe she would do this all the time.
Chana bounced in this morning that today we are starting Shmos. She wondered what "shmos" means, she looked at how many pages were in the entire chumash, she looked at how long rishon was, she saw a bunch of names and got excited (she loves translating names because she flies through them). She looked at the pictures of the keilim of the mishkan, and wondered what they were.
Anyway, as a demonstration of why I don't think it's ideal to wait: This morning, for example, Chana came down and asked to start Shmos just as aharon woke from his nap just as jack was stirring for the morning, and jack needs to be cuddled for about 20 min after waking or else he tantrums for an hour. and aharon needs to be nursed and then pottied and then fed immediately when he wakes up or he's very cranky. (so I had to make a choice, and I chose nursing aharon while jack waited in bed, then bringing a cranky aharon to cuddle jack.) Chana had to wait.
She chose when to stop (13 pesukim), and didn't mind the rashis. Ah, crisp new beginnings :-) chazak chazak!
chana sees the position of rav, more than shmuel. pharoah loved yosef; how could he do this.
Chana bounced in this morning that today we are starting Shmos. She wondered what "shmos" means, she looked at how many pages were in the entire chumash, she looked at how long rishon was, she saw a bunch of names and got excited (she loves translating names because she flies through them). She looked at the pictures of the keilim of the mishkan, and wondered what they were.
Anyway, as a demonstration of why I don't think it's ideal to wait: This morning, for example, Chana came down and asked to start Shmos just as aharon woke from his nap just as jack was stirring for the morning, and jack needs to be cuddled for about 20 min after waking or else he tantrums for an hour. and aharon needs to be nursed and then pottied and then fed immediately when he wakes up or he's very cranky. (so I had to make a choice, and I chose nursing aharon while jack waited in bed, then bringing a cranky aharon to cuddle jack.) Chana had to wait.
She chose when to stop (13 pesukim), and didn't mind the rashis. Ah, crisp new beginnings :-) chazak chazak!
chana sees the position of rav, more than shmuel. pharoah loved yosef; how could he do this.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
CHAZAK CHAZAK
chana finished sefer bereshis! now we have to figure out how to do chazara. i told chana she does not take ownership of her new computer until after chazara, but she can use it each day after chazara. so she has been urging me to figure out how to do chazara.
i agreed that reading pasuk by pasuk to review would take excessively long.
back to the old question: what is the goal or purpose of chazara?
is it to review vocabulary words? no. either she knows them or she doesn't. a review of the words she doesn't remember will likely not help them stick into her head any better.
is it to review the flow of the stories or to remember specific parts? if so, we don't have to do it inside. i can review parts without the pain of translation. however, i don't know which parts she doesn't remember. as chana put it: how am i supposed to remember the ones i don't remember?
i have to find the sections i think she won't remember.
i would like her to review some of the more difficult famous pesukim to increase her familiarity with them. that means i have to choose the famous pesukim.
well, it's feeling like chazara is going to take some prep and work on my part. something i generally prefer to avoid.
i have an idea of randomly opening up each parsha and doing a few "spot checks" to see if chana can translate the pasuk and come up with the background. that's more my style in terms of prep. i think it will be a decent review and fairly effective. especially in terms of investment vs output.
i'd also like to review some of the rashis. i guess i could just flip through those and ask her to read a few here and there. stay tuned.
i agreed that reading pasuk by pasuk to review would take excessively long.
back to the old question: what is the goal or purpose of chazara?
is it to review vocabulary words? no. either she knows them or she doesn't. a review of the words she doesn't remember will likely not help them stick into her head any better.
is it to review the flow of the stories or to remember specific parts? if so, we don't have to do it inside. i can review parts without the pain of translation. however, i don't know which parts she doesn't remember. as chana put it: how am i supposed to remember the ones i don't remember?
i have to find the sections i think she won't remember.
i would like her to review some of the more difficult famous pesukim to increase her familiarity with them. that means i have to choose the famous pesukim.
well, it's feeling like chazara is going to take some prep and work on my part. something i generally prefer to avoid.
i have an idea of randomly opening up each parsha and doing a few "spot checks" to see if chana can translate the pasuk and come up with the background. that's more my style in terms of prep. i think it will be a decent review and fairly effective. especially in terms of investment vs output.
i'd also like to review some of the rashis. i guess i could just flip through those and ask her to read a few here and there. stay tuned.
Sunday, April 29, 2012
anti alfie
today chana finished reading shemona esrei for the reward of getting a facebook acct. she has been working on shemona esrei for months. when sarah was younger, i consulted my rabbi about sarah's reluctance to daven. he said that women have more leeway and i can tell her to daven 1 shemona esrei a day and minimal introduction (ashrei or shema). chana has not shown an inclination to spend a half hour reading hebrew that she doesn't understand and finds boring (aka daven), so i figured that i would gear up to her chiyuv as she gets closer to bat mitzva. for her evening reading for a while i've been directing her towards different brachos, bentching, shema, and shemona esrei. when she asked for a fb account, i said when she masters fluent shemona esrei. this weekend she got on a kick and read brachos of hodaya until she was fluent. she read the whole thing to me yesterday and then today she read the last 3 brachos and then she timed herself and clocked in at 9 minutes. (side question: does the school allow as many minutes as it actually takes for kids who are just starting out to read it completely?) she said she would now say shemona esrei every day. tune in to see if she is emotionally capable of spending 10 min a night on it or if she will find it overbearing. hopefully by the time she is bat mitzva we will have gotten through the general categories of the requests and the translation of at least the first bracha. i was happy that she was picking out a lot of words that she knew from chumash as she read sim shalom: "hey, that's favor, mercy... and what's that one? oh, yeah, kindness."
also, she's remembering the brachos of yaakov beautifully. we finished them up (she probably won't remember parts of yosef that are complicated and vague and she and i aren't quite sure what the pshat is, so i don't know if there is much benefit to doing more chazara of that) and she is in the home stretch. i was urging her to finish the perek, and she was reluctant until i reminded her that her computer is waiting. then she got excited and raced through it.
i understand that anti rewards is because although it might make the student more inclined to get through the work, it ultimately sucks the life and inherent enjoyment from the activity.
however (i know i always go back and forth about this), it seems to me that there isn't much inherent enjoyment in learning to translate. (we just read yissachar who digs in his shoulder to bear the burden of torah). or becoming fluent at davening when you don't understand the words. (theoretically, we can sing it or make a game of it. i wonder if there would be different long-term attitudes towards tefila by a child who was rewarded with a fb account for achieving shemona esrei vs a child who was cajoled to learn tefila by pleasant games and songs).
so chana's fb account is only for her online avatar and a platform for her youtube videos. she is to only be on fb in the main room of the house. i have permission to go onto her account to check on her activities and conversations. she is to post no personal information or pictures (it is only for her avatar).
i'd also like to mention that sarah felt embarrassed and upset when she got to school and she was not fluent in the tefilla. you know how your kid fights you and then you give in and then they come back and say, "you should have pushed me?" lol is that every homeschooler's nightmare? :-P
so sarah has mentioned a few times that chana is going to be embarrassed by not knowing the tefilla. and she is going to camp this summer. i mentioned the issue to her, and she answered, as sarah did before her: "can't i just move my lips like i'm saying it and just say what i know?" which is exactly where i said, with sarah, "ok. whatever you want." cue future complaints.
also, she's remembering the brachos of yaakov beautifully. we finished them up (she probably won't remember parts of yosef that are complicated and vague and she and i aren't quite sure what the pshat is, so i don't know if there is much benefit to doing more chazara of that) and she is in the home stretch. i was urging her to finish the perek, and she was reluctant until i reminded her that her computer is waiting. then she got excited and raced through it.
i understand that anti rewards is because although it might make the student more inclined to get through the work, it ultimately sucks the life and inherent enjoyment from the activity.
however (i know i always go back and forth about this), it seems to me that there isn't much inherent enjoyment in learning to translate. (we just read yissachar who digs in his shoulder to bear the burden of torah). or becoming fluent at davening when you don't understand the words. (theoretically, we can sing it or make a game of it. i wonder if there would be different long-term attitudes towards tefila by a child who was rewarded with a fb account for achieving shemona esrei vs a child who was cajoled to learn tefila by pleasant games and songs).
so chana's fb account is only for her online avatar and a platform for her youtube videos. she is to only be on fb in the main room of the house. i have permission to go onto her account to check on her activities and conversations. she is to post no personal information or pictures (it is only for her avatar).
i'd also like to mention that sarah felt embarrassed and upset when she got to school and she was not fluent in the tefilla. you know how your kid fights you and then you give in and then they come back and say, "you should have pushed me?" lol is that every homeschooler's nightmare? :-P
so sarah has mentioned a few times that chana is going to be embarrassed by not knowing the tefilla. and she is going to camp this summer. i mentioned the issue to her, and she answered, as sarah did before her: "can't i just move my lips like i'm saying it and just say what i know?" which is exactly where i said, with sarah, "ok. whatever you want." cue future complaints.
Monday, April 2, 2012
every day a little more
yesterday we did rashis and planned to start vayechi at night. but i went out with the boys and didn't get back til 9pm, and chana didn't feel like starting. so i said she has 15 min in the morning to decompress and then we would start.
however, by the time chana came down this morning, aharon was back asleep and jack wasn't awake yet, and i was enjoying my little peace and quiet of the day. so i didn't press her. then aharon woke up, then jack woke up (yes, you read that correctly--aharon woke up from his morning nap before jack woke up for the morning), and then things were busy. so it was after noon before we got to chumash.
but that's ok because it's the week before pesach so i don't have much to do.
anyway, we sat down to vayechi and chana looked for sheni. it seemed manageable, so she looked for shlishi. it seemed manageable, so she looked for revi'i. chamishi finally seemed long to her, so she was brimming with energy and announced she'd be doing through revi'i.
i've been around the chumash block a few times, and privately hoped we'd make it uneventfully to sheni. but hey, i'm not going to be the discouraging voice.
chana had a couple of good questions. she asked the famous: how did yaakov not know who yosef's sons were? (particularly as we just did the rashi that efraim was learning with yaakov.) (based on those rashis, chana wondered if yaakov preferred efraim because he had a relationship with him. i ventured that efraim was on a higher level. chana said that menashe was working with yosef as a translator.)
chana also envisioned yaakov not feeling well, then being strong enough to sit up in bed. she kind of acted it out. yaakov was creaky and aged, and moved with great effort.
she did indeed run out of steam by the end or rishon. but she asked to do sheni and possibly shlishi tonight.
i underlined a couple of rashis and we did them outside (she also asked: why didn't yaakov bury rachel in chevron if it was so close?) but we didn't do them inside and we didn't review the ones in vayigash. i am not so impressed with chana's entire grasp of vayigash or the rashis. i do not feel this is because of chana, but rather in the way i chose to do it regarding speed and lack of chazara. i think it is important to note that students often "don't succeed" because of the way it's been taught, not because of a lack in the student.
i was pleasantly surprised that chana remembered the shoresh "kavar" bury in all its forms today.
i pulled out the map of the nachalos of the shevatim from the stone tanach at one point because yaakov was telling yosef that these 2 sons would be like his sons, and any future sons would be included in their nachala. i showed her that yosef didn't have a portion, and that efraim and menashe were like the other shevatim. we pored over the map for a little bit. chana noticed that menashe had 2 portions and that levi had none (pretty sharp, chan!). i flipped to the levite cities map and showed her all their cities. she asked why they were with everybody else. i said she'll find out in this parsha.
we also found chevron on the map, and chana said that rachel was the only one not buried there, and she asked why. unfortunately, beis lechem was not on the map and we didn't go all the way upstairs to look at the map there, nor did i get up and cross the room and take the map book off the shelf.
however, by the time chana came down this morning, aharon was back asleep and jack wasn't awake yet, and i was enjoying my little peace and quiet of the day. so i didn't press her. then aharon woke up, then jack woke up (yes, you read that correctly--aharon woke up from his morning nap before jack woke up for the morning), and then things were busy. so it was after noon before we got to chumash.
but that's ok because it's the week before pesach so i don't have much to do.
anyway, we sat down to vayechi and chana looked for sheni. it seemed manageable, so she looked for shlishi. it seemed manageable, so she looked for revi'i. chamishi finally seemed long to her, so she was brimming with energy and announced she'd be doing through revi'i.
i've been around the chumash block a few times, and privately hoped we'd make it uneventfully to sheni. but hey, i'm not going to be the discouraging voice.
chana had a couple of good questions. she asked the famous: how did yaakov not know who yosef's sons were? (particularly as we just did the rashi that efraim was learning with yaakov.) (based on those rashis, chana wondered if yaakov preferred efraim because he had a relationship with him. i ventured that efraim was on a higher level. chana said that menashe was working with yosef as a translator.)
chana also envisioned yaakov not feeling well, then being strong enough to sit up in bed. she kind of acted it out. yaakov was creaky and aged, and moved with great effort.
she did indeed run out of steam by the end or rishon. but she asked to do sheni and possibly shlishi tonight.
i underlined a couple of rashis and we did them outside (she also asked: why didn't yaakov bury rachel in chevron if it was so close?) but we didn't do them inside and we didn't review the ones in vayigash. i am not so impressed with chana's entire grasp of vayigash or the rashis. i do not feel this is because of chana, but rather in the way i chose to do it regarding speed and lack of chazara. i think it is important to note that students often "don't succeed" because of the way it's been taught, not because of a lack in the student.
i was pleasantly surprised that chana remembered the shoresh "kavar" bury in all its forms today.
i pulled out the map of the nachalos of the shevatim from the stone tanach at one point because yaakov was telling yosef that these 2 sons would be like his sons, and any future sons would be included in their nachala. i showed her that yosef didn't have a portion, and that efraim and menashe were like the other shevatim. we pored over the map for a little bit. chana noticed that menashe had 2 portions and that levi had none (pretty sharp, chan!). i flipped to the levite cities map and showed her all their cities. she asked why they were with everybody else. i said she'll find out in this parsha.
we also found chevron on the map, and chana said that rachel was the only one not buried there, and she asked why. unfortunately, beis lechem was not on the map and we didn't go all the way upstairs to look at the map there, nor did i get up and cross the room and take the map book off the shelf.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
RELAX
we did an hour and 10 minutes of chumash with a couple of breaks (nursing etc) plus chana could chat as much as she liked. for some of it, aharon was sleeping. the other 2 were playing--elazar had this plan for coloring popcorn on paper towels or something. this was how homeschooling idyll is in my head, when i envision it. the boys playing something creative, chana asking questions and chatting, and keep returning to chumash. intimate conversation, relaxing, enjoying each other's company, enjoying the learning.
for chazara, i read the pesukim expressively (yesterday's 6 pesukim) and she slowed me down or asked me about words she didn't understand. she enjoyed that so much, she said she wishes we could always do it that way. i balked, because i think her reading and translating are skills that are important, but i did think in terms of unschooling and pleasure, her idea has merit. i should try to incorporate that whenever i can. let's see if i'm able to.
anyway, in this relaxed environment (with the inducement of finishing bereshis because her computer is rapidly declining), she did til the end of the aliya, 10 fairly difficult pesukim. (a problem i have with covering so many difficult pesukim in one day is that she doesn't really learn the new words so well, or the flow of the translation, and then we need to do a lot of chazara, which is boring.)
we talked about yosef's interview techniques, how he asked them about their family. i told her to imagine she is yosef, and me and my siblings were accused of being spies. and her putting us in different rooms and asking us if we have any other siblings. she said, "and you'd say, malkie." i said, yes, but if we were actually spies, i wouldn't be sure. is there another sibling? is jj going to say there is? should i say we have one? should i say we don't?
she remembered "hitmahmahnu" (delay--sorry, i'm not sure of the actual shoresh) (also sorry for my mixing of ashkenaz and israeli pronunciation; maybe one day i'll post about our journey with that, the decisions we made, and what ended up happening) by when i sang it with the shalsheles, referencing Lot delaying leaving s'dom.
we were talking about chazara of the entire bereshis when she's done. she asked if i was going to make her go through the whole thing, "because i would DIE." i said i would die, too. which sadly is a testament to the pain that it is to acquire these skills.
on a tangent to that, in the beginning of today's learning, we were doing the pasuk: "and they said, "the man interrogated us (really asked) and to our birthplace, saying, 'is your father still alive; do you have a brother..."
and chana asked: what does that mean? he asked to us and to our birthplace? how do you ask our birthplace?
so i popped her over to rashi, who says it is asking about the family: "l'mishp'chosenu." she had trouble with it; she kept reading it wrong (and we are using rashi w/ nekudos). i kept gently telling her to try again, and she kept fuming that she wanted me to tell her. as she was getting pretty upset about it, i remembered my mother telling me that it annoyed her when my uncle told her to look it up; she just wanted to be told. and i wondered if i should just tell her. the other side of me felt like it is satisfying for her to have the experience of reading it and seeing it and discovering what it means. but if she is getting so annoyed, doesn't that mean she is not having the satisfaction? or does it mean that i'm having her exercise right past her comfort point and this is good stretching? (yes, i know, i ask this a lot. i imagine any serious one-on-one educator does, and i think it is an important question to keep asking.)
when she finally figured it out, she was mentally exhausted. happily, we were pretty relaxed today, so she was able to recuperate and nobody was interfering or demanding and we weren't rushed. so it ended up being just a very minor blip and not affecting the rest of the learning.
back to chazara on the entire sefer. i asked her what she hoped to get out of sefer bereshis. she said, "a computer." (she did thank me for pressing her to finish so that she can get her computer more quickly.)
the fact is, she has no particular interest in gaining chumash skills. she has no interest in reading, translating, insists that she already knew the story (though admitted that she knows it better now and in more detail--but again, she had no yearning for that, so no great gain in her mind).
i told her my goals were that she can read and translate, and read rashi, and know rashis, and know the story.
she did point out to me last week (with some satisfaction) that she remembers when it took her weeks to do a pasuk. and now she can do so many pesukim so quickly.
i wonder what my goals actually are, so that i can decide what kind of chazara to do on the sefer. i would like to think of a chazara that is interesting and fun, and cements some of the skills and vocabulary.
after all that, we haven't done rashi today yet. it's going to take a while. probably 8pm we will get to it.. maybe before?
for chazara, i read the pesukim expressively (yesterday's 6 pesukim) and she slowed me down or asked me about words she didn't understand. she enjoyed that so much, she said she wishes we could always do it that way. i balked, because i think her reading and translating are skills that are important, but i did think in terms of unschooling and pleasure, her idea has merit. i should try to incorporate that whenever i can. let's see if i'm able to.
anyway, in this relaxed environment (with the inducement of finishing bereshis because her computer is rapidly declining), she did til the end of the aliya, 10 fairly difficult pesukim. (a problem i have with covering so many difficult pesukim in one day is that she doesn't really learn the new words so well, or the flow of the translation, and then we need to do a lot of chazara, which is boring.)
we talked about yosef's interview techniques, how he asked them about their family. i told her to imagine she is yosef, and me and my siblings were accused of being spies. and her putting us in different rooms and asking us if we have any other siblings. she said, "and you'd say, malkie." i said, yes, but if we were actually spies, i wouldn't be sure. is there another sibling? is jj going to say there is? should i say we have one? should i say we don't?
she remembered "hitmahmahnu" (delay--sorry, i'm not sure of the actual shoresh) (also sorry for my mixing of ashkenaz and israeli pronunciation; maybe one day i'll post about our journey with that, the decisions we made, and what ended up happening) by when i sang it with the shalsheles, referencing Lot delaying leaving s'dom.
we were talking about chazara of the entire bereshis when she's done. she asked if i was going to make her go through the whole thing, "because i would DIE." i said i would die, too. which sadly is a testament to the pain that it is to acquire these skills.
on a tangent to that, in the beginning of today's learning, we were doing the pasuk: "and they said, "the man interrogated us (really asked) and to our birthplace, saying, 'is your father still alive; do you have a brother..."
and chana asked: what does that mean? he asked to us and to our birthplace? how do you ask our birthplace?
so i popped her over to rashi, who says it is asking about the family: "l'mishp'chosenu." she had trouble with it; she kept reading it wrong (and we are using rashi w/ nekudos). i kept gently telling her to try again, and she kept fuming that she wanted me to tell her. as she was getting pretty upset about it, i remembered my mother telling me that it annoyed her when my uncle told her to look it up; she just wanted to be told. and i wondered if i should just tell her. the other side of me felt like it is satisfying for her to have the experience of reading it and seeing it and discovering what it means. but if she is getting so annoyed, doesn't that mean she is not having the satisfaction? or does it mean that i'm having her exercise right past her comfort point and this is good stretching? (yes, i know, i ask this a lot. i imagine any serious one-on-one educator does, and i think it is an important question to keep asking.)
when she finally figured it out, she was mentally exhausted. happily, we were pretty relaxed today, so she was able to recuperate and nobody was interfering or demanding and we weren't rushed. so it ended up being just a very minor blip and not affecting the rest of the learning.
back to chazara on the entire sefer. i asked her what she hoped to get out of sefer bereshis. she said, "a computer." (she did thank me for pressing her to finish so that she can get her computer more quickly.)
the fact is, she has no particular interest in gaining chumash skills. she has no interest in reading, translating, insists that she already knew the story (though admitted that she knows it better now and in more detail--but again, she had no yearning for that, so no great gain in her mind).
i told her my goals were that she can read and translate, and read rashi, and know rashis, and know the story.
she did point out to me last week (with some satisfaction) that she remembers when it took her weeks to do a pasuk. and now she can do so many pesukim so quickly.
i wonder what my goals actually are, so that i can decide what kind of chazara to do on the sefer. i would like to think of a chazara that is interesting and fun, and cements some of the skills and vocabulary.
after all that, we haven't done rashi today yet. it's going to take a while. probably 8pm we will get to it.. maybe before?
Sunday, February 5, 2012
i want to finish already!
i told chana we'd buy her a computer when she finishes sefer bereshis. her current laptop was a present from my brother (given when i was on bedrest--what a fabulous gift) and it was his old (read "very slow") laptop that he was not using anymore, anyway.
(as much as this is not very alfie cohen of me, i must point out that this is not motivating her to move any quicker than she would otherwise.) it will, however, mark the occasion as a special and significant achievement.
i wish she would finish already because she spends most of her days making movies, and is pretty frustrated with her computer. however, i strongly believe it's important to work towards things. especially expensive things.
we are in chamishi of vayeshev. then miketz, vayigash, vayechi...
(as much as this is not very alfie cohen of me, i must point out that this is not motivating her to move any quicker than she would otherwise.) it will, however, mark the occasion as a special and significant achievement.
i wish she would finish already because she spends most of her days making movies, and is pretty frustrated with her computer. however, i strongly believe it's important to work towards things. especially expensive things.
we are in chamishi of vayeshev. then miketz, vayigash, vayechi...
Monday, November 28, 2011
the anti-alfie
today elazar and jack's tablet came. i told chana that if we do milim in rishon and part of sheni, and finish sheni and finish rashis, then she could play with it (ie set it up, since she's the most computer savvy person in the house). we finished very quickly and she kept pushing me to do more when i had to take breaks.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
what negative things am i teaching in the course of chumash lessons?
so today i violated "never go against a sicilian when death is on the line!!!" again!
today it took the form of "never do chumash when chana hasn't eaten."
she woke up 11am. she was babysitting at 12:30 (ok, we also violated "don't do chumash when you have to crunch it into a small time"). i spent the first 20 min of her learning doing fractions. having nothing to do with chumash, we have dropped her math curriculum since last year before pesach because fractions were confusing. i have been feeling like maybe she might grasp it better, so yesterday i suggested it, and the idea was well received and so i did a little lesson this morning.
then we took a break and did chumash. ideally, we would have left chumash until after she babysits. ideal for her. for me, i like to get it done so it's not on my mental list of "things i have to do today." as always, this becomes a conflict of better for my emotional state as the one in charge of the household vs better for her emotional state as the learner. although i believe that you will get the best "bang for your buck" ie "intellectual work for the effort" if you go based on the learner, if the teacher's emotional state is not taken into account in this imperfect world, ain't nobody happy.
but truly, whenever i push because i don't want it hanging over my head (which begs the question: if I feel like it's hanging over my head, and it's a responsibility i want to get over with, how am i possibly supposed to imbue chana with love of learning?), it ends up sort of backfiring because chana is not in an optimal state. and really, for me to be rushing to get it over with is not an optimal state for me, either. ideally, i'd like to be relaxed, have nothing else to do (ha! haha!) and look at this as a time for me to chana to enjoyably explore the torah.
anyway, i asked her if she wanted to do new pesukim first or chazara first. she chose new pesukim. we decided to finish sheni since it is pretty short and simple. we did the new pesukim pretty easily. and we reviewed the story of yesterday's pesukim outside.
then it came time for chazara. there were, what, only 6 pesukim and not difficult ones? (i didn't mention in yesterday's post that chana accidentally did an extra pasuk because she just kept going). she started whining that she didn't know one of the words. (which was from that brutal chamishi from last parsha that i didn't push). i told her what it was, but she kept whining. she had a headache. she doesn't know the words. she can't do this.
then i got annoyed and said i'm not listening to you talk to me like this.
which was fine with chana and she just sat there. this is a dynamic that we get into often
("how do you homeschool your child?" like you do any other parenting! with all its attendant conflicts, mistakes, etc). but then we only had 10 min until she was being picked up to babysit and i still had 5 rashis to get to, 2 from yesterday and 3 new ones.
so i said to her i wanted to get going. she, rightly but obnoxiously, countered that i was the one who told her we weren't doing more until she calmed down. and now i wanted her to go. but she wasn't calm yet. naturally, she said this in a rude voice because she wasn't calm and i was pushing her. you gotta love (not) how you (me), the parent, create these ridiculous scenarios by saying one thing and then pushing another. i sent her out of the room (thereby being more ridiculous and punishing her for her tone which happened because i was not giving her time to calm down). then i followed her out of the room and told her that we don't have time, and i'm being pushy, and i apologized and told her to eat, and i was choosing 2 slices of american cheese because we don't have time for her to leisurely eat a bowl of cereal (which i knew she'd prefer and which takes her 5-10 min to eat). she looked daggers at me (she's got a finely honed "evil eye" or "look of death," as i like to call it) and took the cheese.
then she came into the room with no cheese. my first thought was that she threw it out in a fit of standing up for herself (or defiance, as the textbooks call it :-P). i asked her where the cheese was, and it was all crammed into her mouth. she broke the ice in our dynamic by being comical about this. kudos to chana for not sulking. i latched right onto that peace offering and appreciated her humor. we giggled about it and settled in to finish chumash.
the food helped and chana was perfectly happy to do the rest of chumash. as an added bonus, her ride was running late and we even had plenty of time to do the rashis.
chana asked which camp yaakov was going to be in: the one that would get killed or the one that would escape. i did the rashi (not inside) with her where he said he would fight.
today it took the form of "never do chumash when chana hasn't eaten."
she woke up 11am. she was babysitting at 12:30 (ok, we also violated "don't do chumash when you have to crunch it into a small time"). i spent the first 20 min of her learning doing fractions. having nothing to do with chumash, we have dropped her math curriculum since last year before pesach because fractions were confusing. i have been feeling like maybe she might grasp it better, so yesterday i suggested it, and the idea was well received and so i did a little lesson this morning.
then we took a break and did chumash. ideally, we would have left chumash until after she babysits. ideal for her. for me, i like to get it done so it's not on my mental list of "things i have to do today." as always, this becomes a conflict of better for my emotional state as the one in charge of the household vs better for her emotional state as the learner. although i believe that you will get the best "bang for your buck" ie "intellectual work for the effort" if you go based on the learner, if the teacher's emotional state is not taken into account in this imperfect world, ain't nobody happy.
but truly, whenever i push because i don't want it hanging over my head (which begs the question: if I feel like it's hanging over my head, and it's a responsibility i want to get over with, how am i possibly supposed to imbue chana with love of learning?), it ends up sort of backfiring because chana is not in an optimal state. and really, for me to be rushing to get it over with is not an optimal state for me, either. ideally, i'd like to be relaxed, have nothing else to do (ha! haha!) and look at this as a time for me to chana to enjoyably explore the torah.
anyway, i asked her if she wanted to do new pesukim first or chazara first. she chose new pesukim. we decided to finish sheni since it is pretty short and simple. we did the new pesukim pretty easily. and we reviewed the story of yesterday's pesukim outside.
then it came time for chazara. there were, what, only 6 pesukim and not difficult ones? (i didn't mention in yesterday's post that chana accidentally did an extra pasuk because she just kept going). she started whining that she didn't know one of the words. (which was from that brutal chamishi from last parsha that i didn't push). i told her what it was, but she kept whining. she had a headache. she doesn't know the words. she can't do this.
then i got annoyed and said i'm not listening to you talk to me like this.
which was fine with chana and she just sat there. this is a dynamic that we get into often
("how do you homeschool your child?" like you do any other parenting! with all its attendant conflicts, mistakes, etc). but then we only had 10 min until she was being picked up to babysit and i still had 5 rashis to get to, 2 from yesterday and 3 new ones.
so i said to her i wanted to get going. she, rightly but obnoxiously, countered that i was the one who told her we weren't doing more until she calmed down. and now i wanted her to go. but she wasn't calm yet. naturally, she said this in a rude voice because she wasn't calm and i was pushing her. you gotta love (not) how you (me), the parent, create these ridiculous scenarios by saying one thing and then pushing another. i sent her out of the room (thereby being more ridiculous and punishing her for her tone which happened because i was not giving her time to calm down). then i followed her out of the room and told her that we don't have time, and i'm being pushy, and i apologized and told her to eat, and i was choosing 2 slices of american cheese because we don't have time for her to leisurely eat a bowl of cereal (which i knew she'd prefer and which takes her 5-10 min to eat). she looked daggers at me (she's got a finely honed "evil eye" or "look of death," as i like to call it) and took the cheese.
then she came into the room with no cheese. my first thought was that she threw it out in a fit of standing up for herself (or defiance, as the textbooks call it :-P). i asked her where the cheese was, and it was all crammed into her mouth. she broke the ice in our dynamic by being comical about this. kudos to chana for not sulking. i latched right onto that peace offering and appreciated her humor. we giggled about it and settled in to finish chumash.
the food helped and chana was perfectly happy to do the rest of chumash. as an added bonus, her ride was running late and we even had plenty of time to do the rashis.
chana asked which camp yaakov was going to be in: the one that would get killed or the one that would escape. i did the rashi (not inside) with her where he said he would fight.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
nachas and homeschooling myself
so i translated chamishi. i simply could not do it anymore. i had chana read the hebrew (she needs some practice anyway) and i translated it. it went not to slowly. that was yesterday. today, she read shishi. i'm delighted that she read it in hebrew and comprehended it mostly, and only asked me to translate a few words here or there. by the time we got to the end, she requested translations for the last 3 or so pesukim. so i guess we hadn't done those last few frequently enough in chazara. but it was such a delight to hear her reading the chumash and i could tell she understood it by her pauses in the right places, her intonations, and her reading things that were questions as questions, etc.
i'm pretty sure that shvi'i was easy, and she said we did all the rashis, so tomorrow we are off to vayishlach!
chana's reading made me wish that i know trope. i'd really like ideally to be able to read the chumash with the proper trope, as i think it really enhances understanding and the rhythms of the text. i had been teaching myself a little haphazardly a little while back, but i ran out of steam. i kind of need to practice, like a 12 yr old boy. maybe it's time for me to set up a bribery system for myself. because i think it would be beneficial for the boys to learn it with trope. not to mention, as stroke research has shown, singing accesses a different part of brain memory than speaking. chana dislikes when i try to hum the trope. but i think if i know it, then the boys will respond to it.
regardless of alfie, in my own life i do find rewards helpful as incentives. i need to make myself a hierarchy of rewards. a smallish reward for learning all the taamei mikra (i know almost all of them already). another smallish reward for being able to sing them by name by just looking at the picture. another reward for learning, let's say, shma or another piece of chumash with it. and another reward for maybe a bigger piece. and a nice dinner out or maybe a little "party" or siyum type thing when i am able to look at the chumash and sing the words fluently.
i'm pretty sure that shvi'i was easy, and she said we did all the rashis, so tomorrow we are off to vayishlach!
chana's reading made me wish that i know trope. i'd really like ideally to be able to read the chumash with the proper trope, as i think it really enhances understanding and the rhythms of the text. i had been teaching myself a little haphazardly a little while back, but i ran out of steam. i kind of need to practice, like a 12 yr old boy. maybe it's time for me to set up a bribery system for myself. because i think it would be beneficial for the boys to learn it with trope. not to mention, as stroke research has shown, singing accesses a different part of brain memory than speaking. chana dislikes when i try to hum the trope. but i think if i know it, then the boys will respond to it.
regardless of alfie, in my own life i do find rewards helpful as incentives. i need to make myself a hierarchy of rewards. a smallish reward for learning all the taamei mikra (i know almost all of them already). another smallish reward for being able to sing them by name by just looking at the picture. another reward for learning, let's say, shma or another piece of chumash with it. and another reward for maybe a bigger piece. and a nice dinner out or maybe a little "party" or siyum type thing when i am able to look at the chumash and sing the words fluently.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
memorization
today was one of those days with a lot of whining, with me asking her to take deep breaths, with her insisting that deep breaths don't help. both boys were asleep and i wanted to get it in. chamishi is pretty challenging with a lot of new words and complicated structures and i start wondering if it's worthwhile to press her on these words.
btw, there are frequency word lists "100 most commonly used shorashim in tanach" etc which makes a lot of sense. apparently if you learn those, you can translate about 80% of tanach. which is cool. i think chana probably does have most of those words. especially as the frequent ones show up enough for her to learn them just by their repetition.
we still have rashi left to do. i asked chana if she wants to do rashi w/ nekudos today. she didn't answer me because i offered that when i wanted to do rashi before chazara and she was pushing for chazara. i gave in and also allowed her to choose which aliyah to chazer because she can use chazara in all of them. she chose revi'i.
in the framework of today, i've been pondering a post about unschooling that i saw this week. a lot of it is about having a certain confidence that kids are interested in knowledge and will learn. and sometimes i wonder what i'm in such a hurry to do this in elementary school for. i read once on lookjed (jewish education message board) that kids go through 12 yrs of school and don't know gemara, and they can easily master the basics of skills in 2 or 3 yrs post high school. so why torture them? for years??
not to mention that i'm not all that excited about sending my kids to high school, and if they don't have the skills because i'm unschooling them, maybe they'll just keep going as they are going. the 2 people i spoke to who were themselves unschooled said they were interested in judaic studies in high school.
and it would seem like the joy might be more if i wait. (i always wonder that after a day of arguing).
but this goes against the rishonim and mesora of chinuch. and that is a big reason i hesitate.
btw, there are frequency word lists "100 most commonly used shorashim in tanach" etc which makes a lot of sense. apparently if you learn those, you can translate about 80% of tanach. which is cool. i think chana probably does have most of those words. especially as the frequent ones show up enough for her to learn them just by their repetition.
we still have rashi left to do. i asked chana if she wants to do rashi w/ nekudos today. she didn't answer me because i offered that when i wanted to do rashi before chazara and she was pushing for chazara. i gave in and also allowed her to choose which aliyah to chazer because she can use chazara in all of them. she chose revi'i.
in the framework of today, i've been pondering a post about unschooling that i saw this week. a lot of it is about having a certain confidence that kids are interested in knowledge and will learn. and sometimes i wonder what i'm in such a hurry to do this in elementary school for. i read once on lookjed (jewish education message board) that kids go through 12 yrs of school and don't know gemara, and they can easily master the basics of skills in 2 or 3 yrs post high school. so why torture them? for years??
not to mention that i'm not all that excited about sending my kids to high school, and if they don't have the skills because i'm unschooling them, maybe they'll just keep going as they are going. the 2 people i spoke to who were themselves unschooled said they were interested in judaic studies in high school.
and it would seem like the joy might be more if i wait. (i always wonder that after a day of arguing).
but this goes against the rishonim and mesora of chinuch. and that is a big reason i hesitate.
Monday, September 6, 2010
the anti-alfie
i asked chana how much she would like to earn (she's been asking for ways to earn money anyway) to do a massive chazara of parshas noach when we finish. ie going through every pasuk and translating it. i had in my head 10 dollars, and chana said 20, and i said deal. her eyes rounded. really?
it is yet to be seen if it will actually motivate her sufficiently. not to mention that we're only about halfway through noach (but the last bit is a lot of genealogy).
i would like to state for the record that i agree with alfie that a reward means to the child that the money is more valuable than the skills of translating chumash. i agree that ideally a teacher would make learning skills so interesting that the child wouldn't need the motivation of rewards.
i am taking an "easier" way out. alfie maintains that this will end up with the child having a more negative attitute (acc to his research, rewards de-motivate in the long term).
it is true that the child may be demotivated to read and translate simply for the sake of reading and translating. reading and translating IS difficult and painful and can be boring. i'll have to hope that the glory of the ideas of torah will provide motivation, and she'll call on the skills i bribed and pushed for.
and she'll realize that when she was 9, she valued money more than skills. but her parents valued torah so much that they were willing to pay her to have the building blocks.
it is yet to be seen if it will actually motivate her sufficiently. not to mention that we're only about halfway through noach (but the last bit is a lot of genealogy).
i would like to state for the record that i agree with alfie that a reward means to the child that the money is more valuable than the skills of translating chumash. i agree that ideally a teacher would make learning skills so interesting that the child wouldn't need the motivation of rewards.
i am taking an "easier" way out. alfie maintains that this will end up with the child having a more negative attitute (acc to his research, rewards de-motivate in the long term).
it is true that the child may be demotivated to read and translate simply for the sake of reading and translating. reading and translating IS difficult and painful and can be boring. i'll have to hope that the glory of the ideas of torah will provide motivation, and she'll call on the skills i bribed and pushed for.
and she'll realize that when she was 9, she valued money more than skills. but her parents valued torah so much that they were willing to pay her to have the building blocks.
Monday, August 30, 2010
tefila
every once in a while i wake up in early morning and start thinking about the general direction of my kids' schooling and areas that need shoring up and areas that need more focus. i realized chana is 9 yrs old and we haven't paid attention to tefila all that much. she still doesn't like to read a lot of hebrew, and i kept putting off davening until she was more fluent in reading. but i think it's time to start some memorization. i started making a mental list of what i wanted to get working on, but what better place to write it down than here.
asher yatzar
bentching
birchas hatorah
shma
shemona esrei
the reason for those choices is because i want to prepare chana for keeping halacha fully when she is bas mitzva. she will need to be fluent in the longer brachos.
that reminds me to put
al hamichya
borei nefashos
on the list. we've already done some of that, and some of bentching, and the first paragraph of shema, and asher yatzar a few times. but mainly, if not this year, then in the next year or 2, i'm going to have to get started on shemona esrei (preferably plus translation) so she'll be prepared to daven with kavana when she's chayav.
with sarah, i used to daven every morning for 20 minutes or so. the kids were very bored, but i think they learned all of it, like ashrei and birchas hashachar etc. with chana's stubbornness and the more unschooling approach, that kind of fell by the wayside. i still have a twinge about not doing hallel with her on rosh chodesh.
the theory in my mind is that she's not chayav, and if she can read fluently, she can pick it up easily later. this wars with the part of me that feels that elementary school education should entail having all this fluent on the tongue.
anyway, in a non-alfie kohn move, i bought chana a pair of boots and she needs to earn them. (that part is not against alfie; it makes sense for kids to earn luxuries. what he's opposed to is making something a reward for education, implying that education is inferior and something you do in order to get luxuries...). so while i would like to make chana a list of household chores for her to do to earn the boots, she's already doing a lot of household chores and it might be easier for her to read those things on my list until she's fluent. i'm thinking of making a chart with boxes and she has to read it out loud and check off the boxes, and when she's finished, she earned the boots.
asher yatzar
bentching
birchas hatorah
shma
shemona esrei
the reason for those choices is because i want to prepare chana for keeping halacha fully when she is bas mitzva. she will need to be fluent in the longer brachos.
that reminds me to put
al hamichya
borei nefashos
on the list. we've already done some of that, and some of bentching, and the first paragraph of shema, and asher yatzar a few times. but mainly, if not this year, then in the next year or 2, i'm going to have to get started on shemona esrei (preferably plus translation) so she'll be prepared to daven with kavana when she's chayav.
with sarah, i used to daven every morning for 20 minutes or so. the kids were very bored, but i think they learned all of it, like ashrei and birchas hashachar etc. with chana's stubbornness and the more unschooling approach, that kind of fell by the wayside. i still have a twinge about not doing hallel with her on rosh chodesh.
the theory in my mind is that she's not chayav, and if she can read fluently, she can pick it up easily later. this wars with the part of me that feels that elementary school education should entail having all this fluent on the tongue.
anyway, in a non-alfie kohn move, i bought chana a pair of boots and she needs to earn them. (that part is not against alfie; it makes sense for kids to earn luxuries. what he's opposed to is making something a reward for education, implying that education is inferior and something you do in order to get luxuries...). so while i would like to make chana a list of household chores for her to do to earn the boots, she's already doing a lot of household chores and it might be easier for her to read those things on my list until she's fluent. i'm thinking of making a chart with boxes and she has to read it out loud and check off the boxes, and when she's finished, she earned the boots.
Monday, May 24, 2010
still thinking about rewards
i'm reminded of alfie's point that if the work isn't too much for the student. and if the student understands the long-term goal of the activity even if the work isn't inherently interesting. then you get the same result out of a promised reward as you do if you gently remind the student to focus/continue working.
and you have the benefit of not turning the child away from the intrinsic properties of the activity.
and you have the benefit of not turning the child away from the intrinsic properties of the activity.
Monday, April 12, 2010
alfie's reasons that rewards are counterproductive, backed by research
he has 5 reasons. i'm actually only going to discuss the reasons that spoke to me.
3) rewards ignore reasons.
they encourage the rewarder to take the easy route instead of addressing underlying issues or working harder to make things more interesting or more in line with the nature of the child. maybe the work is too hard or too boring. maybe a different approach would be better.
4) rewards discourage risk taking
i am finding this to be something i hadn't thought about, and quite intriguing. what happens is, the person does exactly what is necessary to get the reard and no more. it puts students into thinking inside a box, rather than thinking outside the box. the objective is not to suceed at the task, the objective is to get the reward. he cites studies that preschoolers, grade schoolers, and adults working for rewards try to avoid anything challenging.
2 quotes:
the lesson is that school is not about playing with ideas or taking intellectual risks; it is about doing what is necessary, and only what is necessary, to snag a better letter or number. most students will quickly accommodate us, choosing "to do that which will maximize the grade and not attempting tasks in which they might fail, even though they would choose to challenge themselves to a greater degree under other circumstances."
and
if anything deserves to be called natural, it is the tendency to seek optimal challenge, to struggle to make sense of the world, to fool around with unfamiliar ideas. human beings are inclined to push themselves to succeed at something (moderately) difficult.
and 5) perhaps the most deadly and i'm actually noticing that it is true: rewards cut the interest rate. he quotes studies that people's interest in what they are doing typically declines when they are rewarded for doing it. he has an entire chapter devoted to this. extremely convincing. if there is request, i will sum up some of his arguments.
3) rewards ignore reasons.
they encourage the rewarder to take the easy route instead of addressing underlying issues or working harder to make things more interesting or more in line with the nature of the child. maybe the work is too hard or too boring. maybe a different approach would be better.
4) rewards discourage risk taking
i am finding this to be something i hadn't thought about, and quite intriguing. what happens is, the person does exactly what is necessary to get the reard and no more. it puts students into thinking inside a box, rather than thinking outside the box. the objective is not to suceed at the task, the objective is to get the reward. he cites studies that preschoolers, grade schoolers, and adults working for rewards try to avoid anything challenging.
2 quotes:
the lesson is that school is not about playing with ideas or taking intellectual risks; it is about doing what is necessary, and only what is necessary, to snag a better letter or number. most students will quickly accommodate us, choosing "to do that which will maximize the grade and not attempting tasks in which they might fail, even though they would choose to challenge themselves to a greater degree under other circumstances."
and
if anything deserves to be called natural, it is the tendency to seek optimal challenge, to struggle to make sense of the world, to fool around with unfamiliar ideas. human beings are inclined to push themselves to succeed at something (moderately) difficult.
and 5) perhaps the most deadly and i'm actually noticing that it is true: rewards cut the interest rate. he quotes studies that people's interest in what they are doing typically declines when they are rewarded for doing it. he has an entire chapter devoted to this. extremely convincing. if there is request, i will sum up some of his arguments.
Friday, March 19, 2010
ways to encourage people to do things they don't find intrinsically motivating
as per alfie kohn.
1) imagine the way things look to the people doing the work and acknowledge candidly that it may not seem especially interesting.
2) offer a meaningful rationale for doing it anyway, pointing, perhaps, to the long-term benefits it offers or the way it contributes to some larger goal.
(in our house this sounds like: i know you hate it but on the off chance you may someday want to learn torah, i want you to know how to translate it)
3) give the individual as much control as possible over how the work gets done.
(working on that...)
1) imagine the way things look to the people doing the work and acknowledge candidly that it may not seem especially interesting.
2) offer a meaningful rationale for doing it anyway, pointing, perhaps, to the long-term benefits it offers or the way it contributes to some larger goal.
(in our house this sounds like: i know you hate it but on the off chance you may someday want to learn torah, i want you to know how to translate it)
3) give the individual as much control as possible over how the work gets done.
(working on that...)
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