"They need to learn how to...": A Subtle Misconception About Unschooling Part II

Someone I respect said: "I have been thinking about it and thinking about it, and I think it makes sense for Chana to go [to school even if she doesn't want to] because this way she is learning to deal with people who she doesn't necessarily want to be with and situations that she doesn't necessarily want to be in, and that will give her more options later in life."

(To read background about the conversation, click here.)

I have been trying to figure out why this didn't sit right with me.  After all, it's not vastly different than my evaluation.  Chana doesn't especially want to go and I am insisting.  I believe she is gaining socially, academically, and emotionally.  Even though I agree with her that socially it is a mixed bag, academically it is a mixed bag, and emotionally she isn't always happy.

However, just because she isn't always emotionally happy doesn't mean that I consider that a negative.  After giving it a great deal of thought, I concluded that I largely fell into unschooling because actively schooling Chana took so much effort.  She has always been anti-authority by nature, and responding to her nature led us, quite happily, to unschooling.  Unschooling allowed Chana to develop her interests and her intellect without the conflict that classical schooling would have caused.  It allowed us to have a very pleasant childhood/raising together, and allowed us to enjoy each other with mutual harmony and respect.  

Upon reflection, it seemed to me that Chana has the maturity at age 14 to be able to tolerate some discomfort.  That it would not only be not bad for her, but also beneficial for her, to be in this situation, even if it's a mixed bag.

So what is bothering me about the original statement?

Click here to read on.