Moving goals and the end game

I used to think 8 was old.  When my oldest was still a toddler, a friend of mine was hired to homeschool some elementary aged children, and I asked her when they started making brachos.  "Eight," she said.  Eight! That's so old!  Surely three year olds are all trained to make brachos and keep Shabbos.

Elazar is now 9.  I've moved the goal post.  He is still very inconsistent about wearing a kippah and point blank refuses tzitzis except on the rare occasion that he takes a class with Jews.  I know that it's a minhag, and he still has difficulty keeping Shabbos, and how can I get hung up on a minhag when he's still struggling with d'oraisas.  He tells me 10.  We'll see what happens when he gets to 10.

I know that I've always said that he's three years behind.  I don't mean "behind" insofar as any negative connotation whatsoever; I love homeschooling because it gives those children who need three years of wiggle room plenty of wiggle room.  There are no age-(in)appropriate expectations and we can work with his capabilities.  So I guess I will see at 11 if he is capable of things I would have assumed for an 8 year old.  And if not, we will work with his abilities as they present.

Removing all academic expectations and having very broad end goals (will be able to read as an adult, will be emotionally capable of making a living as an adult, will have loving and functional relationships as an adult, will care about Torah and be equipped to keep mitzvos as an adult) is the difference between a miserable, stressed out, anxiety-ridden childhood (for both the child and the parents), versus having a child who wakes up every day thrilled to enjoy his day and explore the world.

Is it a mistake to set aside academic expectations for him?  Will he grow up incapable?  Sure, I worry.  But the other possibility seems more painful and equally doubtful of producing results.

early morning wakeup

Aharon (5) woke me at 7am to ask me how to spell "design."  He is playing Roblox.  Usually he doesn't awaken me in the mornings (this is the first year that he's been going downstairs by himself without waking a parent, which feels like a huge milestone) but apparently this morning the desire to spell these words correctly so he could play this game was too much for him.  So now I'm sitting nearby, so that he can ask me how to spell words every five minutes. "Helmet" "sport" "country" etc.

Yet again I'm thinking how unschooling has him coming to me, chasing me down for spelling help, waking me up in the morning for spelling help.  As opposed to me trying to get them to sit down and work on things they aren't interested in.

I wonder how many more times it will take him to learn the word "design."

unschooling reading/writing

Aharon age 5 has been reading for over a year already.  He is playing a game called Roblox "design it" and you have to dress up and people vote for you.  They give you a category and then you search for clothes in that category and dress your character.  They give you five minutes to dress your character.  So roughly every five minutes for the past three hours, Aharon has asked me how to spell something.  (I believe he is searching for categories of clothing--he asked for "wings" three times and he probably knows how to spell it by now).  In the beginning he was pretty intense and kept shrieking that he only has 4 minutes left and I have to help him RIGHT NOW!!!! (Which I did.)  I just noticed that in the last half hour or so, his requests are growing more spaced.  He must be learning to spell the commonly used words he needs.

Unschooling School Day tomorrow

We are heading into a winter storm tomorrow.  Somebody posted:  

So excited for a free day with the kids due to expected snow storm tomorrow. A day free of back to back sports activities, homework assignments, of rushing to get up in the morning. A day free to relax, enjoy, and finally bake those chocolate cornflakes that I've been promising to make with them for over a month!

And all I keep thinking is, "That's our every day."  

Minus chocolate cornflakes.  I have no idea what those are.

Ah.  I don't think anyone in my house will eat those.  But hot chocolate with whipped cream...Yum.

January update

Elazar and I finished the second Pippi Longstocking book, which he loved.  Last night I tried reading The Time Machine.  He found the beginning boring, which I remember from when I was a kid finding it overly technical.  So tonight I will skip forward a bit to the time travel and see if that helps.  Otherwise I'm not sure what to do next.

The boys have been doing a lot of math.  I wish I paid more attention because I'm sure a lot of people wonder how unschooling works with math.  Let me say that they spend lots of time pondering math concepts.  I mean weeks.  Aharon (5) will ask about google or what comes after google over and over once a week for a month.  Jack (7) asks questions like "Is 3 hours 213 minutes?"  And I'll say, "No, an hour is 60 minutes."  And about twenty minutes later he'll say, "120 minutes is two hours?"

It's an amazing thing watching them play around with numbers and think deeply about it.  And all three of them are able to do basic arithmetic and real life word problems, that come up all the time, most days.

I've been paying attention to the kinds of words they ask me to spell for them during the day.


ELAZAR (9):
passage, what, suddenly, down (thought it was "a"), turn (thought it was e), stone (wasn't sure if has an "e" at the end), was (thought maybe "whas"? No, that's what), now (a?), new, spaghetti, pizzeria, dragEn? would.
What is after "h" in "hours"? I said "ou" and Jack said "r"
What's after "b" in "burger"
Wanted confirmation of spelling of outer star
ocean, kraken, cheetah, cowboy outfit (Aharon and Jack both helped him), somebody, roll, extreme, garden, vortex (we argued over whether or not there is a "T" at the end), missile

JACK (7):
Jack actually doesn't need a lot of spelling help and can mostly spell what he wants to write.
nation, version, count (I said "cou" and then Elazar took over), want, allowed

AHARON (5):
Is this how you spell "I'm recording"
How do you spell "do it"? I said "d-o. space. What do you think?" Elazar took over
"we are the goblins", lego universe (found it when I was up to r), treehouse tycoon (found it after treeh), get eaten
eaten
eaten a 3rd time and I said,  "You know how," and he did, "come in,"
"youtube tycoon.  I know how to spell tycoon"

So you can see that they spend a lot of time helping each other out and that I don't go to them to practice but they are finding that they want to know things because they are searching for games or videos.

unschooling reading and spelling

I went to sleep pretty late last night (watched Blazing Saddles discussing Civil Rights history with Chana) and this morning I was still asleep at 8:50, when Elazar cracked open the door to see if I was awake.  I beckoned him over for a snuggle.  He snuggled into me and said, "How do you spell 'does'?"

Other words he asked today: stagger, device, to do, down, passage.  He's making signs in Minecraft.  

Other boys asked about "to" and "too."  They ask me how to spell things all day long.  I love it.

I was about to press "publish" when Jack said, "Mommy, what does B-O-O-G-E-R-S" spell?"

Gotta Make Some Choices

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang is finished.  Fantastic book.  We need a new one!  Great Brain and Rats of Nimh were unsuccessful.  No idea what to read next.  Help!!

And we skipped the rest of cellular respiration AND photosynthesis and moved on to cellular division.  That seems to be working.

Also, I downloaded The Evolution of Physics by Albert Einstein and we read the intro.  Looks like one of those things that in theory we might read, but in practice we might end up reading only a sampling of.