I was thinking this morning that Elazar (3rd grade) could do some sort of davening. Right now, as an unschooler, he doesn't daven. As I have mentioned, I feel nearly 100% certain that he will be able to daven properly when he is chayav, at bar mitzva (and we will spend sufficient time being mechanech him beforehand).
But I was thinking maybe he could say a quick little something in the morning. What would be something that would give him a sense of tefila and be a meaningful experience?
He isn't really in situations at the moment where bakashos have much meaning for him. So I was thinking the direction of shevach (praise) or hoda'ah (thanks).
I think Modeh Ani really is a beautiful tefila. I hope to sit down with him and teach him what it means and have him start saying it.
I was thinking some of the birchas hashachar, too. I think he will find the rooster one interesting. Why do we express praise for that?
Before teaching him to daven, I think the next time I have an opportunity to learn with him, I will study these with him. They are short and manageable.
This morning we talked about boreh minei mezonos and I explained what Mazon is, food that nourishes the body. I said "Hashem creates different types of nourishing foods" and he said, "True!" Then he said he didn't know that was what the bracha meant.
Monday, November 9, 2015
Wednesday, November 4, 2015
My thoughts this morning
I am going to daven out loud this morning. Maybe if I daven out loud, the kids will learn it by osmosis. Ah, why worry about it. Teaching tefila seriously to the girls a year and a half before their bas mitzvas worked fine. Maybe they are old enough to do some davening every morning, though. Wouldn't it be nice if they started their day with tefila? Most mornings I go to work, though. But Wednesdays I'm home. I could do it once a week. Would they tell me to be quiet when I sing? I'm pretty sure when I daven out loud they shush me. Maybe I could work on one tefila with Elazar? I really want him to be able to daven the end at shul, the Ein K'Elokeinu part. Should I bribe him to do that? Maybe he's ready. But he has no interest. Why don't I just leave him alone? We'll see how he is in 4th grade. Chana started being able to sit much better in 3rd grade, and in my experience Elazar is 2-3 years behind in those kinds of things. Speaking of Chana, I don't think I ever sat her down to do dikduk. I should at least run through avar, hoveh, and atid with her for a basic shoresh. I can do amar. Oh, wait, that won't work for atid because it's an exception with the aleph. Harag. She likes the idea of killing. Should I also do piel and pual and hitpael and nifal? Better stick with just pa'al. Are the boys ever going to learn how to write Hebrew script? I don't see Elazar ever taking an interest in that, even if he does eventually want to learn Torah in the original Hebrew. But maybe Jack. Should I start teaching Jack? Then maybe Elazar would show some interest. I could do some writing lessons. This year? Maybe next year--
CALM THE HECK DOWN!!!!
CALM THE HECK DOWN!!!!
Monday, November 2, 2015
Will my homeschooled child miss out?
It must be that time of year in the school year when people who were waiting until "after Succos to see if things would get better in school" are finding that things are not getting better. In the last two days, I've had 3 inquiries about homeschooling. I always enjoy speaking about homeschooling. One of the questions that came up was: Do you worry that your child is missing out, being homeschooled?
When I was asked that, I had a rush of memory. It has been so long since I've worried about that. But yes, I do remember worrying about that. I remember worrying about preschool. My child won't have that fantastic jungle gym (we actually live across the street from a playground). My child won't have music lessons or learn all those songs (they didn't) (Chana did pick up violin 2 years ago, though). They won't do all those projects (I actually didn't worry about that, because I did do projects with them, until I admitted they are not my bag). I worried they wouldn't go on those great trips (turns out homeschool trips are indescribable). I worried that they were missing out. I worried I was depriving them of important life experiences. Important Life Experiences. That they were missing. My Fault.
I'm not sure how that worry faded. I remember worrying about it, and I know I haven't worried about it for over a decade. Maybe because homeschooling was just so ridiculously fun.
I was thinking today about some trips that I used to do with the girls when they were little. For example, we used to regularly visit the Museum of Natural History. The little ones have never been there. I just haven't been able to get out of the house with them without one of us coming home crying (including myself :-P). So are they Missing Out? Well, yes, they are. They certainly are missing those great trips.
But I realized today how many fantastic memories they have in their childhood. They have neighbors on the block that they play with every day. Every day is a paradise of fun and joy for them (well, not for the 4yo who is currently low man on the totem pole. But the others). They have plenty of things that interest them and that they love.
The same way I saved some books from my childhood because I wanted to give that experience to my children (and my children weren't really interested). The same way I saved books from the girls' childhood to give that experience to the boys. But we are fortunate to live in a world filled with rich educational materials, places, and opportunities. The path we choose will always cause us miss out the path not taken. But each path has its own special delights. And that has made all the difference.
When I was asked that, I had a rush of memory. It has been so long since I've worried about that. But yes, I do remember worrying about that. I remember worrying about preschool. My child won't have that fantastic jungle gym (we actually live across the street from a playground). My child won't have music lessons or learn all those songs (they didn't) (Chana did pick up violin 2 years ago, though). They won't do all those projects (I actually didn't worry about that, because I did do projects with them, until I admitted they are not my bag). I worried they wouldn't go on those great trips (turns out homeschool trips are indescribable). I worried that they were missing out. I worried I was depriving them of important life experiences. Important Life Experiences. That they were missing. My Fault.
I'm not sure how that worry faded. I remember worrying about it, and I know I haven't worried about it for over a decade. Maybe because homeschooling was just so ridiculously fun.
I was thinking today about some trips that I used to do with the girls when they were little. For example, we used to regularly visit the Museum of Natural History. The little ones have never been there. I just haven't been able to get out of the house with them without one of us coming home crying (including myself :-P). So are they Missing Out? Well, yes, they are. They certainly are missing those great trips.
But I realized today how many fantastic memories they have in their childhood. They have neighbors on the block that they play with every day. Every day is a paradise of fun and joy for them (well, not for the 4yo who is currently low man on the totem pole. But the others). They have plenty of things that interest them and that they love.
The same way I saved some books from my childhood because I wanted to give that experience to my children (and my children weren't really interested). The same way I saved books from the girls' childhood to give that experience to the boys. But we are fortunate to live in a world filled with rich educational materials, places, and opportunities. The path we choose will always cause us miss out the path not taken. But each path has its own special delights. And that has made all the difference.
changing direction a bit
I'm officially switching chemistry books. We were doing a cartoon chemistry book that Chana and I are both finding boring and difficult to understand. The periodic jokes (hehe, pun intended) are not making up for the density and the lack of enjoyment we feel wading through it. I asked some 11th graders if anybody had a spare chem book, and I'll start with that. I particularly want to share redox reactions with Chana, and show the conservation of matter.
I was thinking early this morning that maybe it's time to start learning with Elazar again. Maybe back to halacha yomi or maybe one pasuk a day. I was thinking about having him complete something for a siyum.
I was also thinking about just leaving him alone and seeing if he will truly want to learn Chumash one day, and wondering how quickly he would pick up the skills. Or would he insist he doesn't need to because he can use translations? Or will he want to learn it in the original language.
Since I am in conflict, I'm opting to do nothing at the moment. We can always do it later.
I was thinking early this morning that maybe it's time to start learning with Elazar again. Maybe back to halacha yomi or maybe one pasuk a day. I was thinking about having him complete something for a siyum.
I was also thinking about just leaving him alone and seeing if he will truly want to learn Chumash one day, and wondering how quickly he would pick up the skills. Or would he insist he doesn't need to because he can use translations? Or will he want to learn it in the original language.
Since I am in conflict, I'm opting to do nothing at the moment. We can always do it later.
Sunday, November 1, 2015
Chana's first limudei kodesh test
Chana did not really study for the test. She has also ceased to take notes in class (I think because she is finding it hard to distinguish between what needs to be written down and what doesn't). The night before the test, she said she couldn't find the other perush besides Rashi on a certain pasuk. I emailed the teacher, who in a timely manner wrote back that it was Rashbam, and I went through both Rashi and Rashbam with Chana. That was the extent of my helping her study, even though I asked her if she wanted to review the pesukim or meforshim with me. Although she did not know the translations of the pesukim and meforshim fluently, she felt strongly that she did not want to use her time reading them over and over until she knew them, or trying to memorize the translations. She also asked me about what would be appropriate if she didn't understand what to do or didn't know the answers. I suggested she call the teacher over and ask for clarification and assured her that writing things like "This Ramban is not ringing a bell" would be fine.
She came home positive about the test experience, said she knew some answers and not others, and that she used the words "devilishly great" to describe Yosef, and we talked about the nuances of the adverb "devilishly." She told me about a chemistry joke she wrote at the end for the teacher.
I was in school when she got the test back, and I saw from the teacher's face that she wasn't sure if she should talk to me or not. We gathered for a short, impromptu parent teacher conference (one of the benefits of me working at the school where my daughter goes). She had written by Chana's test score: See Me. When Chana spoke to her, she asked Chana if Chana had studied, and Chana had sort of shrugged and said yes. I said, "Not especially, other than that Rashbam I asked you about." She asked Chana if Chana wanted help studying and Chana said, "No." Then Chana asked her what a passing grade is. The teacher said, "Um, I think it's 65." And Chana said, "Okay, so then we're good, right?" (Later, Chana said to me, "Why would they have a passing grade if that's not the mark where below that is a problem and above that is fine?")
So I asked if Chana seems to be participating in class and gaining from the in class experience. The teacher said yes. I asked if she minded Chana's grade, or felt that Chana needs to improve her grades in order to be in the class. And she said that she thinks there is a benefit to studying for the tests and being able to do well on them, but if Chana is okay and I'm okay, then she's okay. I mentioned that this has no relevance to Chana's future college plans, so her grades are largely irrelevant. I asked if I could see Chana's test, and the teacher gave it to me so that I could bring it home and go over it.
Afterwards, I did a lot of thinking about if there is a benefit to Chana studying and doing well on the tests. I mentioned to Chana that if she wants college recommendations, and she is barely passing the tests, that might affect what kind of recommendation they would write. She scowled and said that if she was concerned about college recommendations, she wouldn't ask a teacher from 9th grade and she would apply herself more.
Then I spoke to her about the value of studying for the test. Which basically means reviewing the pesukim and mefarshim until they are fluent and she understands them. Chana is not fully convinced that having Chumash skills is valuable, and she definitely doesn't want to spend her precious time on that. However, I think she did come to understand that there is a value to that (though she is not interested in it), that the teacher is trying to achieve that through the tests she gives, and that this is a goal of the class separate from what she gains merely through sitting in class.
Then, in a practical sense, we went through the test. Some of the questions I knew the answers to, but some I didn't. I suggested to Chana that she write down the pasuk and which mefarshim the teacher does on each pasuk, and the diburei hamatchil of each perush. Then, if she feels like studying, at least we will know what to study.
She mentioned that a girl is switching out. She asked if it was really true that people switch out of a class they like because they are worried about their grades. We talked about the fact that as a homeschooler, she has the freedom to stay in a higher level class if she feels she is gaining from it, rather than being concerned about her grades. Other students are worried about getting into college and many times they feel it looks better to have an A in an easier class than a C in a harder class. I said that ironically, colleges end up really liking homeschooled students because they find that homeschoolers are very concerned with knowledge more than other factors.
This is something I heard about in just about every parent teacher conference in Sarah's high school, too. All the teachers praised her for being interested in the knowledge and not the grades. They spoke about how unusual it is. And yet, when GPA and test grades are what colleges are looking at, it makes sense for that to be what students focus on.
She came home positive about the test experience, said she knew some answers and not others, and that she used the words "devilishly great" to describe Yosef, and we talked about the nuances of the adverb "devilishly." She told me about a chemistry joke she wrote at the end for the teacher.
I was in school when she got the test back, and I saw from the teacher's face that she wasn't sure if she should talk to me or not. We gathered for a short, impromptu parent teacher conference (one of the benefits of me working at the school where my daughter goes). She had written by Chana's test score: See Me. When Chana spoke to her, she asked Chana if Chana had studied, and Chana had sort of shrugged and said yes. I said, "Not especially, other than that Rashbam I asked you about." She asked Chana if Chana wanted help studying and Chana said, "No." Then Chana asked her what a passing grade is. The teacher said, "Um, I think it's 65." And Chana said, "Okay, so then we're good, right?" (Later, Chana said to me, "Why would they have a passing grade if that's not the mark where below that is a problem and above that is fine?")
So I asked if Chana seems to be participating in class and gaining from the in class experience. The teacher said yes. I asked if she minded Chana's grade, or felt that Chana needs to improve her grades in order to be in the class. And she said that she thinks there is a benefit to studying for the tests and being able to do well on them, but if Chana is okay and I'm okay, then she's okay. I mentioned that this has no relevance to Chana's future college plans, so her grades are largely irrelevant. I asked if I could see Chana's test, and the teacher gave it to me so that I could bring it home and go over it.
Afterwards, I did a lot of thinking about if there is a benefit to Chana studying and doing well on the tests. I mentioned to Chana that if she wants college recommendations, and she is barely passing the tests, that might affect what kind of recommendation they would write. She scowled and said that if she was concerned about college recommendations, she wouldn't ask a teacher from 9th grade and she would apply herself more.
Then I spoke to her about the value of studying for the test. Which basically means reviewing the pesukim and mefarshim until they are fluent and she understands them. Chana is not fully convinced that having Chumash skills is valuable, and she definitely doesn't want to spend her precious time on that. However, I think she did come to understand that there is a value to that (though she is not interested in it), that the teacher is trying to achieve that through the tests she gives, and that this is a goal of the class separate from what she gains merely through sitting in class.
Then, in a practical sense, we went through the test. Some of the questions I knew the answers to, but some I didn't. I suggested to Chana that she write down the pasuk and which mefarshim the teacher does on each pasuk, and the diburei hamatchil of each perush. Then, if she feels like studying, at least we will know what to study.
She mentioned that a girl is switching out. She asked if it was really true that people switch out of a class they like because they are worried about their grades. We talked about the fact that as a homeschooler, she has the freedom to stay in a higher level class if she feels she is gaining from it, rather than being concerned about her grades. Other students are worried about getting into college and many times they feel it looks better to have an A in an easier class than a C in a harder class. I said that ironically, colleges end up really liking homeschooled students because they find that homeschoolers are very concerned with knowledge more than other factors.
This is something I heard about in just about every parent teacher conference in Sarah's high school, too. All the teachers praised her for being interested in the knowledge and not the grades. They spoke about how unusual it is. And yet, when GPA and test grades are what colleges are looking at, it makes sense for that to be what students focus on.
Tuesday, October 20, 2015
I hate science experiments and art projects
It took me many years of homeschooling to admit that. I used to read books with science experiments, thinking maybe I would do them. I felt bad that I didn't do them, but I didn't do them. I used to do art projects. I didn't really enjoy them. I finally let go and accepted that those are not my strengths.
However, I often get requests. There are a lot of things that are not my strengths but the kids ask to do them and so I take a deep breath and give it a shot. I'm not a huge baker but I have made more cookies and cakes than I would have dreamed. Once we made a cake based on ingredients Elazar learned about on minecraft (flour, eggs, sugar, milk, oil). It wasn't bad.
Jack got a lulav and esrog for Succos. He went to shul with them and did hakafos and naanuim.
He asked me if we could make esrog jelly after Succos. And I said sure.*
I did a google search ("easy esrog jelly") and read a few recipes. Who knew it takes three days to make it (and it took me 6 days because the weekend happened in the middle). We put the esrogim through the food processor and covered in water, let it sit, simmered, drained, replaced water, etc. for 2 days. Then tonight we boiled it with sugar. Eventually I added some pectin. I read that if you accidentally overcook it, you end up with more of a candy than a jelly. Hey, esrog candy! That sounds fun! Unfortunately I wasn't able to do that and it appears we have jelly.
However, I often get requests. There are a lot of things that are not my strengths but the kids ask to do them and so I take a deep breath and give it a shot. I'm not a huge baker but I have made more cookies and cakes than I would have dreamed. Once we made a cake based on ingredients Elazar learned about on minecraft (flour, eggs, sugar, milk, oil). It wasn't bad.
Jack got a lulav and esrog for Succos. He went to shul with them and did hakafos and naanuim.
He asked me if we could make esrog jelly after Succos. And I said sure.*
I did a google search ("easy esrog jelly") and read a few recipes. Who knew it takes three days to make it (and it took me 6 days because the weekend happened in the middle). We put the esrogim through the food processor and covered in water, let it sit, simmered, drained, replaced water, etc. for 2 days. Then tonight we boiled it with sugar. Eventually I added some pectin. I read that if you accidentally overcook it, you end up with more of a candy than a jelly. Hey, esrog candy! That sounds fun! Unfortunately I wasn't able to do that and it appears we have jelly.
I'm not sure what exactly to do with esrog jelly. I didn't bother jarring it because what are we going to do with it? But it has a nice jelly consistency.
I don't think I would ever, ever, ever have made esrog jelly if I weren't homeschooling.
_____________
*After he asked three times. I like to make sure they are serious and really want it before I commit to such an undertaking.
Monday, October 19, 2015
not getting back into the groove
The Chagim are over. So now it's time to do all those things I kept waiting to do until "after the chagim are over." I'm adjusted to my work schedule. I am not quite adjusted to Chana's class schedule. But I have hopes that will happen in the next month, especially as she hasn't yet had a full week of school.
So now I've been thinking about how to reincorporate homeschooling into Chana's schedule. We finished Hamlet and finished a basic approach to Chemistry. We have not finished Devarim yet (we are in Perek 19 out of 34). We are nowhere near doing Nach, Jewish History, or Chumash with mefarshim on a deeper level. I asked Chana if she thinks she will want to take the SATs (or ACTs) or take the community college route (for the first way she needs to focus on math) and she said she didn't want to think about it now.
My main goals are to focus on the mathematics in Chemistry, read The Importance of Being Earnest, and finish Devarim. I've asked Chana to give me an hour a day. She has agreed. In practice, though, it's complicated. For example, today, after class, I dropped her off at a friend, and she is planning to stay there until 10pm, when Ari can get her. Tonight, if she remembers and I am still awake, we will start reading Oscar Wilde. Tomorrow we made an appointment for 3:30 to spend an hour on work. This assumes nothing comes up.
Even if we do eke out a few times a week to learn together, I'm finding that not doing Chumash every day makes it that we don't remember what we are up to and it's harder to get back into the subject. The lack of continuity is affecting the learning.
I am trying to just stay pleasant in the midst of this upheaval in our schedule. Elazar (grade 3, age 8) is not in a learning phase. He is still very happy and busy all day. But he gets extremely antsy even sitting for learning for 5 minutes. We are truly unschooling him because anything else turns sour quickly. I'm curious to see how this experiment goes. It's slightly nerve-wracking.
Jack (grade 1) has not been in the mood to work, either.
Aharon (4) is working on the aleph beis. Right now he can recite them when I point to them in order, but if it's mixed up, he can't.
It's good that nobody is in a phase of intensive learning now, so I don't feel so bad that I'm just running around all day and not having time to teach anything. On the other hand, I'm feeling nervous about it. A lot of times over the course of homeschooling I have felt that in putting one child's needs over the others, the others are suffering. I've had this conflict many times and I suppose the consequences of that are the consequences, and we make the best choices we can and take into account as much as we can. It doesn't stop my heart from hurting when I feel that I can't take care of one child's needs because a different need is taking precedence.
On the up side, homeschooling is a long term proposition, and unschooling holds the hope that when the boys are older they will efficiently and quickly learn the Torah skills and information that Elazar is resisting now.
Another up side is that the kids are happy.
I'm also beginning to feel like I have free time some days. I hope that means I am adjusting and that I can begin to fill that time with some of the things I'd like to be doing instead of using the time to relax. Right now, my sanity is important and I use that time to recuperate and chill.
So now I've been thinking about how to reincorporate homeschooling into Chana's schedule. We finished Hamlet and finished a basic approach to Chemistry. We have not finished Devarim yet (we are in Perek 19 out of 34). We are nowhere near doing Nach, Jewish History, or Chumash with mefarshim on a deeper level. I asked Chana if she thinks she will want to take the SATs (or ACTs) or take the community college route (for the first way she needs to focus on math) and she said she didn't want to think about it now.
My main goals are to focus on the mathematics in Chemistry, read The Importance of Being Earnest, and finish Devarim. I've asked Chana to give me an hour a day. She has agreed. In practice, though, it's complicated. For example, today, after class, I dropped her off at a friend, and she is planning to stay there until 10pm, when Ari can get her. Tonight, if she remembers and I am still awake, we will start reading Oscar Wilde. Tomorrow we made an appointment for 3:30 to spend an hour on work. This assumes nothing comes up.
Even if we do eke out a few times a week to learn together, I'm finding that not doing Chumash every day makes it that we don't remember what we are up to and it's harder to get back into the subject. The lack of continuity is affecting the learning.
I am trying to just stay pleasant in the midst of this upheaval in our schedule. Elazar (grade 3, age 8) is not in a learning phase. He is still very happy and busy all day. But he gets extremely antsy even sitting for learning for 5 minutes. We are truly unschooling him because anything else turns sour quickly. I'm curious to see how this experiment goes. It's slightly nerve-wracking.
Jack (grade 1) has not been in the mood to work, either.
Aharon (4) is working on the aleph beis. Right now he can recite them when I point to them in order, but if it's mixed up, he can't.
It's good that nobody is in a phase of intensive learning now, so I don't feel so bad that I'm just running around all day and not having time to teach anything. On the other hand, I'm feeling nervous about it. A lot of times over the course of homeschooling I have felt that in putting one child's needs over the others, the others are suffering. I've had this conflict many times and I suppose the consequences of that are the consequences, and we make the best choices we can and take into account as much as we can. It doesn't stop my heart from hurting when I feel that I can't take care of one child's needs because a different need is taking precedence.
On the up side, homeschooling is a long term proposition, and unschooling holds the hope that when the boys are older they will efficiently and quickly learn the Torah skills and information that Elazar is resisting now.
Another up side is that the kids are happy.
I'm also beginning to feel like I have free time some days. I hope that means I am adjusting and that I can begin to fill that time with some of the things I'd like to be doing instead of using the time to relax. Right now, my sanity is important and I use that time to recuperate and chill.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
